05/09/2022
4th September 2022
League 1 - Grange
Fairfield Park 7 - 1 Buffs
After a successful pre season consisting of 3 wins and 1 loss and an overall goal difference of plus 9 (it was plus 17 before a game never to be discussed in footballing circles again) aiming for silverware this year, the Park were ready to kick on with the 22/23 campaign in a home game vs newly promoted Buffs. If our summer tournament was anything to go by, we will show promise, get to the semi-finals and bottle it again, but lets see what happens.
With the only competent Wilkinson away on international duty and the hero Wilko away defending our country, a lot of responsibility was left to our Captain, Archie. Safe to say this was far from ideal and a recipe for disaster.
With 1 ball, no nets, no flags and a lack of correct kit, Arch did “thankfully” arrive just before kick off with other players reluctant to lend match day equipment. Regardless, the show must go on!
The ever balding Badger was asked to step up and organise the unorganisable on a fresh Sunday morning down at the grange. If he had hair to pull out, he probably would have.
In Park tradition, there was no warm up, the stench of beer and vodka still in the air, players still drunk and a team talk consisting of “they are s**t”, it finally felt like we were home again ❤️
The game started well with the Park showing their immediate intentions and grabbing a goal 5 minutes in with Tristan slamming the ball home from 10 yards. Great goal to get us up and running.
A Park game would not be complete without some sort of defensive blunder and very quickly Buffs were equal after a defensive header fell short and the Park midfielders were slow off the mark to react. New goalkeeper Josh’s first clean sheet will have to wait for another day.
Finger pointing and head shaking 15 minutes into the season was more odds on than a post match pint down the JCA.
Thankfully that woke the Park up and not too long after, we were back in the lead. A good ball from goalscorer Tristan set up the ever present Toleman showing his consistent quality and relieving some of the pre-match tensions to put us 2-1 up.
Just before half time, Lil Coops sliced a clearance upfield which Badger was already moaning about before it had left his boot… Thankfully it span beautifully in front on goal for The Park to grab their third. Badger had no choice but to apologise. Maybe it was a good pass after all.
The game could have been 5-1 at half time with Tristan missing 2 sitters that equated to a combined distance of 8 yards from goal. Rumour has it he was out past 1am Saturday night celebrating Bunts opening win.
The half time talks were heated with a few dummies being thrown but nevertheless, our quality shone through. The team were sobering up.
4-1, 5-1, 6-1… The Park were in the groove. A convincing lead allowed us to make substitutions and even gave our sub goalie a run out up top. Unfortunately that ended very quickly after he took an elbow to the head sending him to hospital. Speedy recovery JR!
Buffs started to lash out with their frustrations showing through a range of fouls. This became more evident in an argument with a player who had forgot how many they were actually losing by.
The 1 ball we did have will never be seen again. Tristan did his best to boot it away previously but Kai sealed the deal.
Some very good link up play saw Park declare at 7. A result never really in doubt.
Goals from:
Toleman x2
Tristan
Brandon
The one armed Brad
Danny
Lankz
Man of the Match and Dick of the Day were unanimous with Toleman (MOM) and Tristan (DOD) receiving them respectfully.
Next week sees us take on The Bus & Pony which sure to be a fiery affair and potentially see who has the minerals for a realistic title challenge.
Written by Adam "Badger" Illingworth 5/09/22