Patchads

Patchads Helped 350+ high-performing members
build functional strength that last for decades
👇 DM “CALISTRONG” to start
(2)

23/06/2026

After coaching 350+ people, I’ve learned something surprising.

Most people don’t need a more advanced program.

They need better pull ups, dips, push ups, mobility, and core strength.

The clients who unlocked muscle ups, handstands, and front levers the fastest were obsessed with the basics.

Because advanced skills are built on simple foundations.

DM “STRONG” if you want the roadmap.

23/06/2026

Muscle Up Strength Hack in 60 Seconds

Want a stronger muscle up? Then stop neglecting your straight bar dips.

Most people build their pushing strength on parallel bars, but when you perform a muscle up, you’re actually dipping from a straight bar. That’s why straight bar dips have much better carryover.

👉 Grab a straight bar at about shoulder width apart. Keep your feet together and your elbows tucked in. As you lower yourself, fold your body in half so your lower chest touches the bar.

Then press all the way back up.

The biggest mistake I see is people stopping halfway when their stomach reaches the bar. That’s not full range of motion.

Instead, lower your chest to the bar, keep your elbows tucked, and use your triceps through the entire movement.

This builds the exact vertical pushing strength needed for clean, powerful muscle ups.

Try building up to 8–10 clean reps with full range of motion. Use bands if you can’t do bodyweight ones!

Comment “MUSCLE UP” for a FREE Muscle-Up Mastery Training 🫵😎💯

functionalstrength

23/06/2026

I’ve coached men in their 40s and 50s to their first muscle up in under 90 days.

It’s not strength.

It’s jumping between YouTube videos, random progressions, and advanced drills before building the foundations.

The men who finally nail it follow one plan, build patiently, and always know exactly what to train next.

DM me “MUSCLEUP” and I’ll send you the roadmap.

23/06/2026

L-Sit Strength Hack in 60 Seconds

Want to press from an L-sit into a handstand? Most people focus on the skill itself but neglect the strength requirements underneath it.

A powerful combination is pairing tuck L-sits with bent arm tuck leans.

👉 Start with tuck L-sits. Grip the bars shoulder-width apart, push your shoulders down, keep your knees together, and lift them toward your chest. This builds core compression and straight-arm strength.

Then move straight into bent arm tuck leans. Place your hands shoulder-width apart, lean your weight forward onto your fingertips, keep your elbows tucked, and pulse forward with control.

This combination develops the core, shoulders, triceps, and pushing strength needed for pressing movements.

The stronger these foundations become, the easier skills like the L-sit press and handstand press will feel.

Try 10–20 second L-sit holds followed by 5–8 bent arm tuck lean pulses for 3–4 rounds.

Comment “L SIT” for a FREE L-Sit Mastery Training 🫵😎💯

22/06/2026

Most people don’t lack discipline.

They’re following a plan that doesn’t fit their life.

Two hour workouts. training six days a week, with zero flexibility.

Miss one session, fall behind, then start over on Monday.

Consistency comes from having a system that fits your age, schedule, work, sleep, and starting point.

If you’re tired of restarting every Monday, give me a follow.

22/06/2026

Handstand Balance Hack in 60 Seconds

Want to learn the handstand? Most people skip one of the most important beginner progressions: the frog stand.

The frog stand teaches balance, body awareness, and shoulder stability.
It’s the perfect foundation because it helps you understand how to control your body weight through your hands before going upside down.

👉 Place your hands shoulder width apart and rest your inner knees on your outer elbows. Lean your shoulders forward until your triceps are parallel to the floor, then lift one foot at a time and hold.

If you’re falling forward, press into your fingertips like brakes.

If you’re falling backward, shift more weight into your palms.

This teaches the exact balancing mechanics you’ll use later in your handstand.

Master the frog stand first, and handstand balance becomes much easier.

Try holding for 20–30 seconds for 3–4 sets.

Comment “BALANCE” for a FREE Handstand Mastery Training 🫵😎💯

22/06/2026

Superhuman Shoulder Strength Hack in 60 Seconds

Want planche level shoulder strength? It starts with mastering one simple progression: the planche lean.

The planche lean is one of the best exercises for building strong shoulders, biceps, and straight arm strength.

It teaches your body how to handle forward loaded positions while strengthening the exact muscles needed for planche progressions.

👉 Place your hands shoulder width apart and rotate them slightly out so your thumbs face forward. Get into a pike position, push your shoulders forward over your wrists, protract hard, and keep your body in a straight diagonal line.

Think about pushing your elbow joints forward to recruit your biceps and front delts.

A common mistake is letting your hips rise too high or arching your lower back. Instead, keep your core tight, shoulders protracted, and hold the position with control.

This is how you build shoulder strength that carries over into planches, handstands, and advanced pushing skills.
Try holding for 20–30 seconds for 3–4 sets.

Comment “SHOULDERS” for a FREE Superhuman Shoulder Strength Training 🫵😎💯

functionalstrength

28/05/2026

you want a body that still works at 50.

then, train like it matters.

most people chase reps, weight, and ego.
then wonder why they feel stiff, injured, and burnt out.

quality movement creates longevity.

28/05/2026

Gorilla Back Power in 60 Seconds

The front lever doesn’t just build a strong core, it builds serious back strength too. But most people struggle because they skip the foundations and jump straight into advanced holds.

A great place to start is the tuck front lever raise. Grip the bar shoulder-width apart with your thumbs wrapped fully around the bar.

The easier variation is using a slight pull-up. Bring your knees toward your chest, lean back, touch your chin to the bar, then lower back down with control.

Once that feels easy, progress to straight-arm tuck raises. This forces your lats to work much harder while teaching you proper front lever positioning.

To make it even harder, extend your knees slightly so your hips, knees, and torso form a 90-degree angle. This advanced tuck variation increases tension through your core and lower back.

Build this consistently, and your pulling strength will explode.

Comment “LEVER” and I’ll send you my free Front Lever Mastery System 👊

27/05/2026

most people quit right before the breakthrough happens.

steve used to tell me:

“mate, this is trash.”

and honestly?

sometimes he wasn’t quite there yet.

but instead of chasing shortcuts, he trusted the process and kept showing up.

then the turning points came.

because progress rarely looks impressive in the beginning.

until one day it suddenly does.

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