07/09/2026
It’s funny what life does without you knowing.
I can now see that for 6 years I was being someone totally different to who I was born.
For 6 years I faked a personality to the public and I didn’t even know it.
I became exhausted, but I thought that was due to being so physically active with work, my own fitness and classes. Now I realise I was exhausted because I was being someone I’m not . Let’s say I was in constant “character”.
The day, in fact the very second (it was a Thursday around 8pm) I decided to give up classes was pushed upon me by what I can only describe as “the universe”recognising I had travelled so far away from who i should be and I needed to stop. Every day was a day further and further away from Nadine.
Leaving classes has been a challenge I won’t lie, I’ve had to re-find my true identity, it’s been a really hard battle of not knowing who I am, stuck between two worlds - the fake world and the world I’m meant to be in.
I haven’t suffered this bad with my mental health for a very long time.
Imagine being in a dream, living your life as what you know but suddenly, it’s gone. And you need to start all over again. But you don’t know who you are, so you’re in a black cloud, trying to find a way out.
But, the fog is ever so slightly clearing. It takes just one phrase or one person or one thought for you to change direction, and if you’re anything like me - something clicks. And it’s like a new beginning again, but this time, the new beginning is clearer, and you can see where you are heading.
I genuinely believe you are sent the toughest battles at that time, battles that are meant to make you fail, so you can find out who you truly are. And when those battles know they are loosing, they stand down and let you walk forward.
The old Nadine (from the last 6 years) is fading. And the Nadine I was born to be is a little seed being watered each day. She will get more battles, but she will beat them. And then one day BAM 💥 she will be born. And she will know, she will feel it, she is who she’s meant to have been all this time.
Thank you for reading. I didn’t want this to stay in my head. So it had to be noted somewhere.
1 inch closer every day.