Jo Westwood - Relationship Recovery Coach

01/10/2024

22/04/2024

❓Are you conflict averse or are you…

❗️In relationships that create drama and conflict out of what should be easily resolved discussions and disagreements?
❗️In relationships that exacerbate the conditioning in you that says you have to compromise on all your needs and values to keep the peace.
❗️Anxious and fearful of conflicts that don’t really exist, or a rent as big and scary as you’ve built them up to be in your head?
❗️Imagining every instance where there’s a possibility you might not agree with someone is a conflict waiting to happen?
❗️A people pleaser who is driven to keep other people happy at all costs, even above your own wants, needs and values?
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✨Here’s how to build up more conflict resilience and feel calmer and more confident about any real or potential conflict...

⚡️Distinguish between internal and external conflict, and between conflict and compromise.
⚡️Learn the difference between actual conflict and other communication strategies.
⚡️Learn the 5 D’s - practical tactics - to deal with any conflict in the moment.
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Join me for my brand new course Conflict Confident,
where I’ll teach you all this, and more in 5 super practical, actionable classes.

Begins Sunday 28 April // Only £97 or 2 x £48.50.

Details in the 🔗 🆙 🔝 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼or go to jowestwood.com/conflict for all the details + sign up.

12/03/2024

Just to make it abundantly clear where I stand ❤️✊🏼🇵🇸 Feel free to be brave and repost, show your love, support and solidarity, and let your community know what is important to you.

🇵🇸 🇵🇸

10/03/2024

Happy Memers Day. Finally a holiday that can truly be enjoyed by all.
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09/03/2024

🙏🏻 People pleasing - such a catchy little phrase that we’ve all heard… But what does it actually mean? We know what it means to us - how it affects our lives, as the people pleasers, how it feels when we’re doing it. But like, why isn’t it a good thing? Humans are social animals, we live surprisingly well in huge groups, in very close proximity. So then isn’t people pleasing good and natural? Shouldn’t we all be trying to please each other?

🤔 Kinda confusing when you really think about it right? Here’s the harsh truth about people pleasing: 

🎯 Most people do it to some extent, at some point in their lives. It can be a normal healthy part of being human. You need to have a really good foundational sense of who you are and your own feelings to be able to do this healthy, normal level of “people pleasing”.

🎯 But that’s not the way my codependent babes do it... We tend to be chronic people pleasers. That means we can’t stop people pleasing. We please others because we literally don’t know how to please ourselves.

🎯 Here’s the really wild part: Sometimes the people pleasing is so bad, we take away other people’s autonomy 🤯 You might think - what a good partner or friend or daughter I’m being right now - when in fact you are being quite controlling.

🎯 Brace yourself for this one: People pleasing is often obvious, cloying, annoying and comes across not as generous, but as fake and inauthentic.

🎯 People pleasing erases your personality and uniqueness. It reduces you to “nice”. Just nice. You are so much more than *just nice.*

❤️‍🩹 Facing up to the impact people pleasing really has on your life, and the lives of others, is really uncomfortable. When we allow ourselves to feel the true discomfort of our past behaviours, we have a better chance of changing them today.

⚡️ If you’re ready to leave people pleasing in the past, build your self worth and become a more confident and true version of yourself (whilst still being kind, generous, caring and loving) book a free consultation with me in the 🔗 🆙 🔝

12/02/2024

It’s not you, it’s meme. Enjoy little ones x
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11/02/2024

Do you often wonder “Am I being reasonable?” 🤔
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You might be a codependent babe or chronic peopp pleaser who is stuck in a cycle of over giving and *compromising yourself* - making the mistake of thing thy at you are doing healthy, expected levels of compromise in relationships.
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Codependent babes often mistake compromise - ie. Reaching a mutually beneficial middle ground that means both parties stray a little from their ideal to meet somewhere in the middle, for compromising themselves ie. Completely steamrolling their own needs and values to bend to someone else’s will.
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We also frequently end up in relationships with people who are demanding, controlling and not very good at healthy compromise. We may have even been brought up in homes where considerate compromise was not taught or demonstrated to us.
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So it makes sense then that we struggle with the concept of compromise - yet another thing that we can’t just opt out of if we want to have healthy, fulfilling relationships - instead we have to learn to do it better. That starts with building self worth and getting to know our own values…
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If you’d like some help recovering from codependency and chronic people pleasing, building your self worth and learning what a healthy relationship looks and feels like, check out my 🔗 up top - book a free consultation with me + get my emails 💕
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01/12/2023

Which one are you {most attacked by}? Tag yourself.
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20/11/2023

Monday memes for my favourite people… New email series: Codependency Curious 💕- sign up, you know where 🔗👆🏻✨

17/11/2023

Boundaries: The buzzword of the decade. Except most people don’t even know what they are let alone how to have them and communicate them effectively. 
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Quick explainer: Boundaries are actually for you. Communicating them is simply giving the other person the heads up about what action *YOU* will take if the boundary is crossed. 
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Communicating a boundary is actually more of a courtesy, a heads up, an FYI, to the other person than anything else. It’s mainly an instruction to yourself about what is and is not acceptable to you, and what you will do in the case that something unacceptable happens. THAT’S IT. That’s all they are. 
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That’s why you can have boundaries that never get communicated - in the instance where you don’t know someone very well, or at all, and there’s no emotional investment between you, you have no desire to maintain a productive relationship with them. 
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It’s also why the majority of what we are doing IS NOT communicating boundaries. It’s such a thin slice of communication. We’re much more often expressing wants or needs, gathering information on who is and isn’t a match for us, and to a lesser extent, where necessary, issuing rules. 
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There are a million memes telling you to “have boundaries” but how? Why? What does that look and feel like? What would you even say? And what if you get freaked out and feel guilty afterwards? Then what?
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If you’re a chronic people pleaser, have an anxious attachment style or suspect (or know!) you’re codependent, boundaries IS NOT where you should attempt to start. There are foundational skills to learn first, that will make it all make sense and make boundaries, soooo much easier and more natural, just a little further down the line. 
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Let me help you discover what your needs and desires are and learn to communicate them effectively - and even add “calm, clear and effective boundary setting” into your repertoire. Free consultations in the link in my bio.
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22/10/2023

Happy spooky season you codependent little critters ✌🏻🤓👇🏻🤪
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Codependency can feel super scary, but it doesn’t have to 👻
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Let me help you ditch your fear of disappointing people, leave people pleasing behind, build your self worth and start expressing your needs and boundaries like a boss 💪🏻⚡️
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Book a free consultation with me with the link in my bio, or shoot me a DM and I’ll send you the link directly 💕👆🏻
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