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Hilmi Cup, Northampton (2026)

16/08/2025

• Name: Chris Venn

• Current HCP?: 14.7

• Hilmi Cup winner?: Tim Clack

• Hilmi Cup plate winner?: Me

• Golden jacket winner [last place]?: Melv

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner]: 87

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis?: Ross Fontenla

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why?: DJ Khaled - All I do is win (based on my ability to win a Golfstar raffle, a breakfast/beer when betting on course and being one of the few clubhouse board champions in the group)

• What would your golfers nickname be?: Chris ‘Coinflip’ Venn
-because I have the ability to play a round full of shanks or play out of my skin and be chasing a really low score

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why?: 8 iron (good for distance and the trusty bump and run)

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be?: Tiger Woods, John Daly and Ross Fontenla (so I’m guaranteed not to finish last)

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve?: That I have a 9-5 and can’t play everyday

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be?: If you can drive par 4 greens with a 3 wood but can barely break 90 then you should be forced to give up your membership (naming no names 👀)

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Open face 58° flop shot over a boulder off a bare lie. Thinned the hell out of it and it hit the boulder and came flying back into my shin, leaving an immediate golf ball sized lump and drawing blood. I still have a dent on my leg to this day

16/08/2025

• Name: Melv

• Current HCP? 18.3

• Hilmi Cup winner? Walton

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? 9 hole Jon

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Me

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] 110

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? Me, myself and I

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Skee-Lo - I Wish

• What would your golfers nickname be? Sir Shanks'a'Lot

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? 6 iron - the go to

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Daly, Jiminez,

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? No sand in the bunkers

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Leaf rule

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Most tbh, however a 90° drive on the tee has to be the one

16/08/2025

• Name:Keiran

• Current HCP? 24.1

• Hilmi Cup winner? Walton

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Ian

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Me

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] 130 (give or take a couple of shots)

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? Matt ‘Metronome Mart’ Bates

• What would your golfers nickname be? K Dog

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? Foot Wedge. Easiest to use.

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? George Best, Bonnie Blue, Matt Bates

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Being stuck behind slow old women golfers who won’t let you through.

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Life time ban for any old sloshers committing the above crime.

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Hit the inside tin roof which sounded like a fu***ng shotgun going off at a crowded Delapre driving range.

16/08/2025

• Name: Christopher

• Current HCP? 12

• Hilmi Cup winner? Tim

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Collers

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Melv

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] 84

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? 9 hole Jon, the only other person to hold 2 majors

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Lil John, shots shots shots shots shots

• What would your golfers nickname be? The Commissioner

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? 5 iron, can be used on the tee, fairway and the trees

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Charlie Hull, Paige Spiranac and Kylie Jenner

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Slow play

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Preferred lies all year round

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Many many shanks

16/08/2025

• Name: Rashid Koriya (Sheedi)

• Current HCP? 9.7

• Hilmi Cup winner? Sir Walton

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Colin (Mr Sevilla)

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? K-Dog

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] gross 86

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? Sir Walton - Only other winner so no one else matters

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Champion by Kanye West… Why? Because contrary to popular belief “I am a champion in their eyes” (check the sleeve)

• What would your golfers nickname be? Sheedi “Iron Man” Koriya - Because 3 irons off tees are a VIBE!

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? My Scotty Cameron - It’s a cheat code!

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Steph Curry

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Lack of etiquette

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Remove 4 ball limit

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Hitting a temporary tee box 30 yards infront of the tee and seeing the ball fly over my head to 130 yards behind where I started!

16/08/2025

• Name: Andrew

• Current HCP? 8.2

• Hilmi Cup winner? Mark

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Col

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Melv

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] 83

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? Walton

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Not a music guy so silence

• What would your golfers nickname be? Velvet thunder

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? PW, favourite club

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Trump, Hatton, Shearer

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Maintenance week in the middle of August

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Preferred lies in bunkers at public golf courses

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Hitting Dooley in the knee with a shank

16/08/2025

• Name: Sam Bates

• Current HCP? 25.3

• Hilmi Cup winner? Clackzilla

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Venners

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Melv

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] 98

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? My brother - social hand gr***de

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Splish Splash - Bobby Darin. Dooley always sings it to me when I put my ball in the drink.

• What would your golfers nickname be? Shank Marvin

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? 5 hybrid. It’s the only reliable club that I can hit straight.

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Jimmy Bullard, Tiger Woods, Miguel Angel Jimenez

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? When people naively walk in front of me when I’m taking a shot, and me knowing full well I have it in the locker to drive one into their kneecaps.

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? The leaf rule

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? 1st tee at Collingtree I shanked one through the putting green.

16/08/2025

•⁠ ⁠Name: Tim Clack

•⁠ ⁠Current HCP? 8.4

•⁠ ⁠Hilmi Cup winner? Chris Walton. Carefully managing his handicap for months in preparation for this event.

•⁠ ⁠Hilmi Cup plate winner? Chris Venn.

•⁠ ⁠Golden jacket winner [last place]? K-dog. Sorry mate.

•⁠ ⁠Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] Gross 83

•⁠ ⁠Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? First round, first tee shot. Haven’t hit a good one yet

•⁠ ⁠If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Stuck in the middle with you, by Steelers Wheel

•⁠ ⁠What would your golfers nickname be? The Strategist

•⁠ ⁠If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? My old Cobra F8 driver. I lose sleep over the possibility of it breaking.

•⁠ ⁠If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Rory, Ricky Gervais and my dad.

•⁠ ⁠What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Chris Venn playing well.

•⁠ ⁠If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Playing ball as it lies in an unraked bunker. Playing out of someone’s size 11 footprint is a joke.

•⁠ ⁠Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? Club champs, this year. Needing only a double bogey to make the cut and not play in the ‘tards group on day-2. Middle of the fairway shank with a wedge onto the ha-ha into the flower beds. Triple bogey 7. Lad I was playing with said ‘you could have taken your putter and made the cut’. Cheers mate, ever thought of doing some shifts for the Samaritans.

16/08/2025

• Name: Joshy

• Current HCP? 20

• Hilmi Cup winner? Myself

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Venners

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Marriott

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] 93

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? Venners

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Bandit - juice world

• What would your golfers nickname be? Hammer hands

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? Driver

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? Tiger woods, Adam sandler, Bryson

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Playing with Marriott

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? Higher the score the better

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? I don’t make errors

16/08/2025

• Name: Ross Fontenla

• Current HCP? 13.3

• Hilmi Cup winner? Sheeds

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Collers

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Venners

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] - 95

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? - The Oxfordshire

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? - Baywatch Theme Song

• What would your golfers nickname be? - Spanish Hands

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? - Driver, because golf is boring otherwise

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? - Seve / Melv / Jimenez

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Pretending to enjoy the company during and after the round

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? - remove all OB

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? - hit the ball a metre behind me of the tee

16/08/2025

• Name: Matt Bates

• Current HCP? 19.2

• Hilmi Cup winner? Andy

• Hilmi Cup plate winner? Jon

• Golden jacket winner [last place]? Venners

• Predicted score round 1 [Person furthest off has to do a shot at dinner] gross 93

• Who is your Hilmi Cup nemesis? Beer.

• If your golf game had a theme song, what would it be and why? Mouse T I'm h***y. Cause I am

• What would your golfers nickname be? Metronome Mart

• If you could only use one club for the rest of your life, which one would you choose and why? 9 iron, safe as houses

• If you could play a round with any three people, living or dead, who would they be? John Daly, Gazza, Ronny o Sullivan

• What's your biggest golf pet peeve? Fairway balls in divots

• If you could change one rule in golf, what would it be? As above

• Most embarrassing shot you've ever hit? 7 iron, it bounced up and touched my nose really gently.

13/03/2025

The Hilmi Cup 2025 will be played at the beautiful 'The Oxfordshire GC'

https://www.theoxfordshire.com/golf

Going to be a corker for sure

Hilmi Cup

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13/03/2025

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