Søüdlêy ÅFÇ - Ùñøffïçïål

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This poor man Steve Cinderey had to endure an arduous 2025. Although he's always had the backing of this group, members...
01/02/2026

This poor man Steve Cinderey had to endure an arduous 2025. Although he's always had the backing of this group, members of soccer fanatical public didn't feel the same.

He's been called a "loser" and "wa**er" by elderly women in front of his children. His house has been bombarded with fox s**t. His pet ferret was stolen. He's received death threats by post and online. All because he was singlehandedly destroying this club.

But since the turn of the year, he has masterminded 4 points from two games (which included a marvellous 1-2 victory over the dirty bin dipping town of Lydney) and has secured Soudley FC's position in the Premier League.

He celebrated his reinstated fame with a few beers in The Golden Lion Cinderford last night, and was seen smooching with some of the delightful local p***y. The night concluded with him taking home a couple of elderly pieces of trim, and they apparently feasted on Rustler's burgers and Rosè wine long into the night.

So if you are one of the few thousand that have been mean to this football genius, please leave him a goodwill message to apologise. He is after all someone's son, and has feelings.

Thanks to our sponsors The Golden Lion and Cinderford Balti House.

Merry Christmas to all you p***y banging Soudley fanatics. We also wish goodwill on our rivals. Especially Rank Outsider...
21/12/2025

Merry Christmas to all you p***y banging Soudley fanatics. We also wish goodwill on our rivals. Especially Rank Outsiders AFC, who are the Christmas equivalent of Tiny Tim.

This Christmas is sponsored by our dear friends at The Golden Lion Cinderford and Camerons Quality Butchers. They both make dreams come true, for the normal meat eating community.

Our favourite sexy superstars will be venturing to local pubs in the area tonight, as they celebrate the festive period ...
13/12/2025

Our favourite sexy superstars will be venturing to local pubs in the area tonight, as they celebrate the festive period with some team building Christmas drinks. With morale low in the first team, it's essential our heroes lift their mood with some local clunge and gash.

With the Christmas Convoy travelling through Cinderford this evening, large crowds are expected. So don't be surprised to spot useless first team manager Steve Cinderey hunting for p***y around by the War Memorial, trying to prove he is still relevant.

Tensions have been running high in the Soudley camp in recent weeks, with a power struggle emerging between Cinderey, and the board. S**t results, are now coinciding with financial disputes. The Soudley board are notoriously renowned for being fu***ng tight with the clubs money (a new sponsor was required so the team could acquire a new match ball). So after Mr Cinderey financed the clubs training sessions out of his own pocket (£3492), he was confident the club would reimburse him. Unfortunately, the club haven't been able to honour this as apparently the sole club laptop is broken. If this problem isn't rectified soon, Cindereys two sons won't be getting the Barbie Dream house for Christmas.

So if you're female, and around Cinderford tonight,
make sure you go and say hello to the team (you might receive an early Christmas present in the bogs cubicle).

Angry fed up Soudley Ultras invaded Soudley First Team manager Steve Cinderey's home last night, to show their dissatisf...
30/11/2025

Angry fed up Soudley Ultras invaded Soudley First Team manager Steve Cinderey's home last night, to show their dissatisfaction as Soudley were thumped 8-0 by a s**t Huntley side.

The justified attack is thought to have been masterminded by the local businesses The Golden Lion Cinderford, Crazy Daisy Balloons, and Camerons Quality Butchers. The Ultras were instructed to focus on Mr Cinderey's teeth, after it emerged he allegedly used money raised at the recent Harvest Festival to have them whitened.

After the teams heaviest defeat in over 600 years, Cinderey was seen fleeing down the A40 in a Ford Cortina with a couple of Huntley benefit bi***es that he had been chatting up. Reports suggest, he was also seen feeding them Haribo (Tangfastic) and Doritos, instead of watching the match.

The Big Match looms on the horizon. Our second string sexy superstars take on bottom feeders Rank Outsiders AFC, in a ma...
21/11/2025

The Big Match looms on the horizon. Our second string sexy superstars take on bottom feeders Rank Outsiders AFC, in a match that enables our heroes to enhance their goal difference against a team that leak more s**t than a 93 year old man.

Rank Outsiders have recently relocated to the supposedly picturesque village of Newnham on Severn. Newnham is known for it's cravat wearing, Surrey speaking, snobby residents . So when the Rankers rocked up, they were probably as welcome as a floating s**t in a swimming pool, or Paul Johnson swaggering into a Wu Tang Clan gig.

The rumours why Ranks relocated from their natural habitat of Steam Mills is still unclear. Some suggest, their changing rooms were no longer fit for purpose (but we found it rather charming, that the players would wash eachother after a game with cut price industrial floor cleaner, and a hosepipe). The strongest theory of their migration to Newnham is that the players were getting constantly heckled about their poor results, and unacceptable appearance (both physically, and their attire) by the old biddies at the adjacent bowls club.

We look forward to seeing all our loyal fans and ultras tomorrow. We're expecting a strong following as the lure of bagging a posh granny looking for a bit of rough, is too tempting to turn down.

Thanks to this week's sponsors The Golden Lion Cinderford (live music 🎶 tomorrow with Sarah Jayne), the joint Arsenal/Tottenham Forest Fan Club, and Rob Teddy Adams Prostate Examinations. Your consistent funding, makes this page possible.

Soudley manager Steve Cinderey was seen battling angry Ultras, after another humiliating defeat. Soudley were defeated 4...
08/11/2025

Soudley manager Steve Cinderey was seen battling angry Ultras, after another humiliating defeat. Soudley were defeated 4-2 by the stinky fish men of Blakeney.

Trouble erupted outside the British Legion Club, after Steve Cinderey was seen laughing and joking whilst smooshing two fishy women at the bar.

This photo was sponsored by Crazy Daisy Balloons

The Big Match is finally here. Going head to head with the s**t Wyedean Rally, this spectacular match is guaranteed to b...
08/11/2025

The Big Match is finally here. Going head to head with the s**t Wyedean Rally, this spectacular match is guaranteed to bring in much more hot p***y, and be far more enjoyable than watching middle aged men drive around in crap cars, whilst wearing a w**k Subaru coat.

Our top tier sexy superstars travel to the backwards village of Blakeney, to challenge notorious underachievers Blakeney Football Club AFC.

Blakeney pay homage to the funk that wafts from their stagnant waterways, by displaying a fish on their badge. Other theories of the symbol exist. Including the one that it is in honour of their local p***y, that believe washing ge****ls is unnatural.

There is massive pressure on Soudley manager Steve Cinderey, after his guidance has led the team to their worst campaign since 1753.

Thanks to our sponsors The Golden Lion Cinderford , Ricky Anderson, Reform fanatic Paul Johnson.

We look to seeing all our fans and Ultras later.

Ugly scenes at The Cow S**t Stadium today. Soudley were once again defeated, this time by fellow strugglers Westbury. Ma...
01/11/2025

Ugly scenes at The Cow S**t Stadium today. Soudley were once again defeated, this time by fellow strugglers Westbury.

Manager Steve Cinderey was seen legging it across fields towards the River Severn at the final whistle, where he rendezvoused with a dinghy, and was last seen disembarking at Newnham (where he has his second home).

The players are apparently going to regroup at The Golden Lion tonight, in hope that a few beers and some local p***y will cheer them up.

A gang of Street Tuffs causing trouble in Cinderford. These t***s are wearing Official Steve Cinderey ® Masks, and have ...
31/10/2025

A gang of Street Tuffs causing trouble in Cinderford. These t***s are wearing Official Steve Cinderey ® Masks, and have been throwing eggs at old people's houses.

The weekends Big Match is on the horizon. Our top tier sexy superstars travel to the odd rural village of Westbury On Se...
30/10/2025

The weekends Big Match is on the horizon.

Our top tier sexy superstars travel to the odd rural village of Westbury On Severn. Westbury is famously known for it's farming community. These farms ensure the smell of cow s**t, and other smelly odours distributed by their muck spreaders, waft into every room of every house.

Westbury village also boasts a dentist, a pub that's always shut, and a graveyard. Up until a few years ago they had a shop, where you could buy VHS tapes, tea cosies, and used copies of Tractor Weekly (that had lots of pages stuck together).

Soudley are currently on their worst run in over 98 years, and the fans and board of directors put the blame of this firmly on the disgusting testicles of manager Steve Cinderey. Known for his unorthodox ways of picking up p***y of various ages, he has tried and failed to incorporate these tactics to motivate his players.

Despite the s**t football they are currently playing, the team have been invited to attend The Golden Lion Halloween party on Friday night as guests of honour. With lots of music, local gash, and drag queen Josefeela Ma Hunt on the menu, it could be the inspiration some of our virgins need.

Enjoy your weekend Soudley fanatics.

Another desperate attempt by manager Steve Cinderey at trying to redeem his name, and salvage a village in the grips of ...
26/10/2025

Another desperate attempt by manager Steve Cinderey at trying to redeem his name, and salvage a village in the grips of humiliation.

Our well nourished, flexible, and sexy superstars were ready for battle against a truly disgusting village, that funds their team through causing dangerous driving conditions on the A48, by hosting s**t car boot sales.

Soudley manager Steve Cinderey apparently tried to befriend an onlooking Gurkha Warrior from the fabulous Woolaston Inn, to discuss tactics. But our Nepalese cousin rightly told the clueless wa**er to "walkaway, before I unsieve my blade, and carve my families name into your shiny head"

The apparent talisman of the Soudley team Carl Hyett was back fresh from his benefit dependence holiday (Spain 5 ⭐), and he was about as useful as a woman trying to reverse a car whilst on the blob.

We've been inundated with sponsorship this week, so we salute the Arsenal/Tottenham alliance, our favourite band Mirages (loads of gash at their gigs), the Soudley Ultras that want to kill Steve Cinderey, and The fabulous The Golden Lion Cinderford which will host a Halloween Party Friday 31st (loads of clunge and p***y guaranteed)

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