13/08/2026
"A chapter for 'Guardian Angel Wedgies'" — That time in Cozumel when we went REALLY DEEP!!
The ocean was a sheet of cobalt glass that morning — the kind of calm that doesn’t soothe you, but dares you!! Even the Anita Boat seemed to hold its breath as Hymie and I geared up, two grinning conspirators about to negotiate with physics as if it were a slightly annoyed landlord.
I remember the smell: salt, neoprene, and that faint metallic tang of a tank filled with air that absolutely did not intend to go to 270 feet. But we were young, bold, and powered by the kind of confidence only found in divers who haven’t yet learned to fear their own stories. (Perhaps a little stupid too?) 🙃
“Ready?” Rudolpho asked. (Good ol' Rudolpho!)
I nodded.
Somewhere overhead, my guardian angel muttered, “Oh for heaven’s sake…” and braced for impact. 🤣😲
And down we went.
At 80 feet, the world sharpened.
At 150, it softened.
At 200, it started telling jokes. 🤣
By 270, the ocean had fully switched to interpretive dance. 🤨
Narcosis wrapped around me like a warm blanket stitched from tequila and bad decisions. The reef below shimmered like a cathedral built by drunk mermaids. Hymie pointed at something invisible — a fish, a door, a cosmic truth — who knows. I nodded solemnly because at that depth, everything is profound. I decided it looked like a Moose; those sponges on the brain coral! We laughed til' we cried!
Meanwhile, my guardian angel (AND my Dive Computer) was performing emergency gymnastics, trying to wedge divine intervention between me and the laws of physics. Hence the we**ie — a cosmic yank upward, a spiritual “NOPE,” a celestial hand grabbing the back of my metaphorical shorts and hauling!
I didn’t notice.
I was busy having a philosophical debate with a grouper. 🤣💦
The ascent felt like climbing out of a dream. Lots of "Safety Stops"!!
Fifteen‑foot stop.
Five minutes? Perhaps a bit longer!!
I hovered, bubbles rising like tiny prayers. 🫧🫧🫧
When I broke the surface, the sun hit my face and I burst into that unmistakable narcosis smile — the one that says:
“I have just danced with danger, kissed the abyss, and somehow still have all my limbs.” 🙄 😎
Hymie signed my log with the resigned flourish of a Divemaster who had stopped asking questions years ago. We both just knew...
Rudolpho had that knowing smile too...
I sat on the deck, dripping, glowing, alive. 😏
And somewhere in the ether, my guardian angel collapsed into a celestial chair, poured themselves a very large drink, and whispered:
“That’ll do, Wendy.
That’ll do.” 😇🫧💦😎
