Gnomads Cricket Club

24/08/2026

Lovely stuff tonight at gnets, attendees: Floorboard, Falcon, Hokey and Hokey Jr, Saddle and Bolt. Bolt and Falcon putting in bids to open batting on tour. Video from Director of Ci-gnephotograpy Hokey Jr

17/08/2026

***Gnomads V Ash Tree Match Report***
Sunday 16/8/26
From vice skipper Regal

As Ash Tree made their way back over to leafy Cheshire they were shaking their heads. Heads full of triangle sandwiches and mini cornflake cakes. What just happened?

You just came up against some serious Derbyshire millstone grit,, that's what happened chaps.

After 3 losses on the bounce Gnomads CC were starting to be talked about in unserious terms, in some ill-informed circles at least. Turned over by the Vets at home,, given a lesson at Broady, the surrender at Mottram. The rot needed to stop,, the woodworm had to be treated at a base level.

Donald our captain, some would say talisman... was late. But the organisational cogs within the team had seen this coming and a post-it note was pinned in the changing room with the batting order set in stone. A conversation piece let's say. The toss was won / lost not sure? But we fancied chasing this time out and so it transpired.

Saddle and Floorboard opened the bowling. We weren't messing about. Some tidy stuff, and also a very unforgiving short boundary this time on the Kinder Road side. Margins for error were miniscule and fielding positions / vigilance were crucial.

Again, I'm writing this without the benefit of the scorebook.. Gnomadic highlights with the ball included a clean bowled for Hokey,, and a father and son combo for Lance and Major,, snaffled behind. I thought we made a decent fist of defending the troublesome perimeter.. grazed knees and bruised ankles were a testament to that. But also there are no fielders in the sky as the idiom goes. And there were a good few sixes added by our oppo. Pesky extras also added 32.

Match report continued in comments

07/08/2026

Gnomads Cricket Club vs Mottram Cricket Club
Tuesday 4/8/26
Match report from Skipper Regal

Same venue different month,, not different result

I'm slowly running out of superlatives to describe our trips to Mottram. Yes the raising of a team was a minor diplomatic event, yes the weather joined in with the general hokey-cokey nature of the Gnomads CC, and yes the M67 was up to its usual tricks (inc human remains to no ones surprise).

To continue Snappers doom-loop theme from last week - a personal favorite - I had Flan persistently updating me on the local weather via minimum 2 apps, and at least 1 super computer involved. Rain was coming for certain. Lots of rain. This actually seemed to lift Gnomadic spirits in a way I could, but will not describe.

So predictably at 6.15 as Regal prepared to open the batting he was slathering on the sun cream. It was near-as-damn-it glorious. He was joined by Flan fully equipped with poncho and waterproof bat.

Of late (read 'this season and other seasons') we have been struggling to put serious runs on the board, with the understood target always being 120 as a par score, Gnomads have rarely gone much bigger than that. And it wasn't going to happen this evening either. Our batting line-up contained some big-hitters of course but it was not deep. With this in mind our openers started cautiously, attempting to see off the premium bowling and expose Mottram's soft underbelly. No laughing at the back please.

In many ways it could be argued that Regal and Flan took this a bit too literally. Willow was allergic to leather out there for a while. The combination of a pink ball and atmospheric conditions conducive to swing proved a decent test. Anyway 'extras' was doing well at least.

And then out strode Keith at number 3. Like pouring single malt whisky into a sea of coca cola suddenly we got some action. The ball started to fly and the run rate was looking healthy once more. Some effortless looking shots soon took our captain of the day to his retirement. Ripple.

Continued in comments

29/07/2026

Broadbottom Cricket Club XI vs Gnomads Cricket Club
July 29th, 2026
Match Report from Skipper Snapper

A beautiful summers evening and a firm track to boot, provided the setting at ‘Broady’ last evening, where the opposition (when they finally arrived….found the pavilion key….eventually unlocked our changing room) won the toss and sent us in to bat. So cometh the hour, cometh the hero from last week at Hayfield. A determined Regent , cheered on by his family, was eager to reproduce his boombastic (say me fantastic) start from his previous innings….and…. Out first ball…. 🦆
Great leveller this game eh….?
Not to worry, we had plenty in the tank, what with Major Tom and Hokey, forcing the issue and Donald and Snapper increasing the run rate, and a dogged rearguard effort from Floorboard , however, the innings tailed off with a whimper …amassing a reasonable 136 for our efforts. A total not beyond defending, or so we thought… However, their batsmen had other ideas, and an obvious train to catch, resulting in the fine umpiring of BJ resembling him doing the YMCA on a doom loop …., some excellent bowling from Keith and Donald gave us a chance and the fielding was tight, with Falcon taking his now, trademark catch at mid-wicket, but alas, the game was slipping away. Special thanks to Oxford for breaking his cricketing cherry 🍒 to help us out and the broady lads for a game played in good spirits…. Food and ale met us as we left the field, so all was well in the world again. So after 2 B2B wins and now 2 B2B losses, it’s on to Mottram next Tuesday…. But … (all together now..) “We never win at Mottram” Hopefully though….. “we’re still in this gnomes” !!!!! 👋

22/07/2026

It's* Coming Home**!

*A friendly cricket match between Gnomads CC vs Glossop Vets

**at Hayfield Cricket Club tonight at 6pm

07/07/2026

EDALE FARMERS VS GNOMADS CC
Sunday 5th July 2026
Match Report from Skipper Beanieman

The dawn of the Sunday, the 6th of July 2026 arrived with a blustery, over cast rainy morning. As the day plodded on, the sky brightened, and the afternoon looked promising! An unsuspecting field next to a farm in the Vale of Edale was about to be visited by a pack of Gnomes, and the Farmers of that fair village would try and fend them off!

Yet again, a lot of effort was put in to turn this working lambing field into a playable wicket! Many thanks to our host James Metcalf and some other locals, including our own vice captain of the day, Falcon! It certainly was improved since last time we played 2 years ago with a flatter strip and less sheep muck on the outfield! Our trusty old tossing jacket made the first appearance to no avail, meaning our hosts put us in to bat!

The farmers had some very strong arms with good pace, paired with the very uneven and grassy wicket, meant for some very hard to read balls! Our openers managed to stand against it, though. and through the innings, runs started to flow. Ending in an outstanding 138 for 7 with 2 retirees after 29 overs (someone obviously miscounted somewhere). Special thanks to Regal and Snapper, who came to support but ended up putting on a lovely partnership at numbers 10 and 11! They both also found the boundary as well as DH; Rarebit, Keith and Fred!

A lovely Tea of sausage rolls; sandwiches, cake and beer was put on for us in the barn! Chairman MJK gatherd the troops for huddle for an excellent Cap presentation for keith who has been an excellent addition these last few years! Well done mate! Fueled up and lubricated sufficiently, we were ready to defend and revenge our last defeat here!

Continued in comments

25/06/2026

Match report from Skipper Sidesaddle:

After 2 crushing defeats at Mottram and Charlesworth the Gnomads needed to stop the rot at Hadfield and they upset the odds in brilliant style with 4 overs to spare.

It didn’t look especially rosy when the Hadfield opening bat smashed the first delivery of the match against the top of a tree outside the leg side boundary but the Gnomes warmed to the task with the temperature gauge nudging 28c.

The bowling of Gordon and Keith soon sent the openers packing and with the Gnomads taking 3 superb catches on top of a tidy run out Hadfield were 7 down at the end of their innings with 132 on the board.

It was a decent total for sure and almost 7 an over was needed if the Gnomes were to notch their first win of the season. As it turned out the Gnomes sauntered past the winning line with 4 overs to spare.

Fair play to Keith, Gordon, Regal and Snapper for passing 20 in style and Hokey for rattling a swashbuckling 17 to seal the deal. Top notch from the Gnomes and one of the best performances of recent years. Well done to all concerned.

25/06/2026

24/06/2026

Game on tonight for our first ever fixture away against Hadfield St Andrews CC in the game some are calling the Are You Local Derby.
Big questions:
Although it's a friendly will play pass as though in a league of gentlemen?
Who will bring the "special stuff"?
Can we borrow Pauline's pens for the scorebook?
Hokey is registering to get married in Glossop before the game, will she be his wife now?
The answers to all these questions and more to be found out at 6pm tonight!

16/05/2026