22/08/2025
7 Things: Eberechi Eze to Arsenal FC | Sayo Aluko
1] Moving from Martinelli to Eberechi Eze is not an upgrade, it is waaay more. Something like spiritual deliverance. It is exorcism, it is catharsis. Arsenal fans have just been delivered from the pain of watching Martinelli perform barrren samba down the LW, the demon of dry runs has been cast out! For this fact, I join them to shout cacophonous hallelujahs. Naaah, this is an amazing signing, definitely more than just an upgrade.
2] How do I know this? Eze is solid. A total playmaker that looks the part and proves the part. QPR, Crystal Palace, England; the boy knows how to carry the ball to make deadly impact, and not just dabble and dribble. Adding him to the Arsenal puzzle completes the set. Trust me.
3] I mean, his addition means the burden of creativity and attacking supply on Odegaard is immediately halved and effectively divided. The promise that wields with a Gyokeres upfront is deadly. Mateta rose up into our faces in the past two seasons because he got Chef upgrades in Olise and Eze; they cooked and fed him to stupor, so well he had reasons to bang goals. Last season, Eze cooked alone and Mateta still 'mateted'. Close your eyes for minute and imagine the possibilities Eze can now do with a striker of Gyokeres' conversion.
4] He doesn't just cook for others, he also bags goals. Important ones. In fact, he's got a knack for important goals, goals which explain how Oliver Glasner's Crystal Palace is the Premier League's porcupine. Thorny to touch, thornier to beat. Their victorious FA cup run last season was also chaperoned by Eze's important goals. And no, it's not luck, the boy just masters the pitch as a purebred playmaker would naturally do.
5] Coming to Arsenal increases the sting of his threat. We h4te them, but the kind of feet-reliant, IQ-heavy football that Arsenal plays fits Eze's style like gloves.
6] For the Premier League, the nature of Eze's Arsenal move just added more interesting scenes to a cinema that already had us glued to the screen. Spurs had him, had a verbal agreement even, then, in a blink, they lost him to an Arsenal hijack, of all teams. See, arguably, the North London rivalry between Arsenal and Spurs is the fiercest in the Premier League; you won't be wrong to find similarities between it and the Boca Juniors VS River Plate rivalry. Now, imagine how the nature of Eze's move must have deepened the bile of rivalry. Spurs fans have been on a marathon of meltdowns since this news broke, and for the Premier League and watchers, it simply offers more spice of excitement for the season and for a brand that's already the face of absolute cinema!
6b] Just imagine the scenes when both teams meet this season....and Eze scores, or Spurs nick a win. The reactions will mirror psychosis!!!
7] Eze to Arsenal is just juicy; but as a proud Chelsea fan, a prouder Gunner h4ter, a World Champion, and the only Pride of London, when I remember that Arteta is still the one at the helm, I feel instant comfort, knowing full well they won't win jack! Because at the end of the day, can a danfo learner driver win Formula 1???
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Konisewu ©️ Sayo Aluko
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