04/12/2025
📣 ATTENTION. CHRISTMAS PARTY REBELLION 📣
Listen up, you beautiful corporate goblins - it’s me, the ghost of Christmas Past, a.k.a. the OG office intern.
I return now with zero authority, infinite audacity, and a dangerous amount of confidence to declare: Saturday 6th December the Christmas Party date.
If enough of you acknowledge it, management will be forced to comply. That’s how coups work, baby.
Operation festivity is a go:
- to Khans. Bring back 70 garlic cloves, 200 cans of chopped tomatoes, and the entire spice aisle. The annual chilli won’t cook itself.eb Last year you summoned something unholy with “All I Want for Christmas.” This year? “Defying Gravity.” has been rehearsing since the womb.
REUNITE. THE BAND. NOW. Crawl out of your Bublé-style hibernation. I’m looking at you Jack,
Everyone else - bring whatever skills you have. Now is not the time for humility. Are you a DJ? A Kazoo soloist? A licensed therapist? We need you.
Social butterflies, assemble. You are the propaganda machine. Spread the gospel. Post it. Shout it. Whisper it through air vents.
Dress code: No stupid jumpers.This isn’t the office party. Look nice. Show us personality. .jpeg, put some clothes on.
P.S. Tell Charlie Darke it’s a powerlifting competition - it’s the only way he’ll show up.
