Betsabe kia, MAcS MSP

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Betsabe | Certified Relationship Coach
Helping you heal relationship patterns
Build self-trust & safe connection |
Book A session : https://tinyurl.com/yd25c9t7

22/06/2026

You share a house.
A routine.

But not intimacy.
Not emotional closeness.
Not partnership.

There's no warmth to come home to.
No curiosity about your inner world.
No effort to repair the distance.

7 Signs You Feel Lonelier Being
Married to a Narcissist

1.You're in a marriage, but you feel single.
They're physically present, but emotionally unavailable.
It feels like loving someone who exists, but isn't truly there.

2.Every conversation turns into a performance.
Your feelings get ignored.
Their ego gets applause.
What you need never becomes the focus.

3.You stop sharing your pain.
Because it gets denied.
Twisted. Or somehow turned into your fault.

4.You walk on eggshells to avoid conflict.
You measure your words carefully, like a lawyer in court, just to prevent another emotional explosion.

5.They give you attention only when they need validation.
Not connection.
Not intimacy.
You become emotional supply, not their partner.

6.You start to forget what real love feels like.
The warmth.
The safety.
Mutual respect.
Because you've been surviving, not living.

7.The silence after their cruelty is the loudest loneliness of all.
Because you realize they'll never say,
"I'm sorry,"
and actually mean it.

If this describes your life:

•This isn't a normal distance.
•This is emotional neglect.

You deserve more than coexistence.
You deserve connection.

If my videos help you feel seen, imagine having direct access to my healing tools every week.

Join my subscriber community for:
•Weekly emotional reset sessions •EFT tapping and healing exercises
•Nervous system regulation tools
•Live Q&A and guidance
•Exclusive content not shared publicly

Tap Subscribe and start your healing journey today.

...

22/06/2026

Welcome everyone, and thank you for being here. 🌿

I’m genuinely grateful you’ve chosen to be part of this community.

Many of us arrive here carrying emotional wounds, stress, disappointment, grief, confusion, or the impact of difficult relationships and life experiences.

No matter where you’ve come from or what you’re facing right now, you’re welcome here.

This is a space where we’ll go beyond awareness and focus on real healing and transformation.

Here I’ll be sharing:

✨ Emotional release techniques
✨ EFT tapping sessions
✨ The PIE Method (Pause • Identify • Embrace)
✨ Nervous system regulation tools
✨ Inner-child healing exercises
✨ Exclusive teachings and insights
✨ Live guidance and support

My intention is simple:

To help you release what is weighing you down, reconnect with your inner strength, and create more peace, confidence, and emotional freedom in your life.

I would love to get to know you better.

👇 Introduce yourself in the comments and tell me:

What is the biggest challenge you’re working through right now?

Whether it’s anxiety, self-worth, relationships, grief, overwhelm, anger, stress, or simply feeling stuck, this is a safe place to share.

Remember:

You are not here to become someone else.
You are here to return to who you were before life convinced you that you weren’t enough.

Welcome to the community.

❤️ Betsabe

From Stuck to Unstoppable 🌿✨

19/06/2026

I'd like you to think about the relationship you have with your phone.

You don't care about who the phone is, you care about what the phone does.

Texting, calling, scrolling social media, things like that.

The same goes for narcissists and the people in their lives.

They care more about what you do for them than who you are.

Why?

Because in their eyes...
You're an object they get to use, not a person they get to experience life with.

Of course, you're not actually an object.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You didn't do anything to make them see you this way.

It's just how they're wired.

So, in the same way you get frustrated when your phone is on one percent.

You know, you can use it but it's super glitchy and doesn't always click the buttons you want.

They get upset when you get sick because you're no longer functioning the way they want you to.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so I am here if you like to have a chat.







17/06/2026

Here is why

Not because they don't care.
Not because they're lazy.
And definitely not because they lack taste.

But because decorating requires safety.

When you've lived with narcissistic abuse, your nervous system learns one thing very well:
Don't take up space.

Here's why this happens

1.Personal expression was punished
Every choice you made was criticised, mocked, or subtly undone. So your body learned: It's safer to be neutral than visible.

2.Your preferences were dismissed
What you liked didn't matter.
What you wanted was "too much," "dramatic," or "wrong." Eventually, you stopped trusting your own taste.

3.Home never felt safe
When your environment was unpredictable or emotionally unsafe, your nervous system stayed in survival mode.
And survival doesn't prioritise beauty - it prioritises control.

4.You learned to stay ready to leave
Decorating meant attachment.
Attachment meant vulnerability.
So you kept your space temporary... just in case.

5.You were trained to minimise yourself
Blank walls become a way of staying small.
Quiet.
Unnoticed.
Unchallenged.

If this hit close to home, you're not broken.

Your body was protecting you.

And the moment you start feeling safe again?
You'll notice the shift.

You'll want colour.
Comfort.
Softness.
Beauty.

Because healing doesn't just show up in relationships - it shows up in how much space you finally allow yourself to take.

Comment “empathy “ If you're a woman healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and this resonated deeply with your condition.

15/06/2026

When you're dealing with a narcissist, apologies don't sound like genuine accountability. They sound like gaslighting with a sprinkle of guilt.

It took me years to realise that what I was getting wasn't real repair, it was manipulation.

Here are a few ways a narcissist typically "apologises":

1. "I'm sorry you feel that way" -
They shift the focus
from what they did to how you responded.

2. "I said I'm sorry, what more do you want?" - The apology becomes a weapon to shut you down, not a doorway to understanding.

3."I'm sorry, BUT..." - Any apology followed by a 'but' cancels out the first part. It's an excuse, not ownership.

4. "I guess I'm always the bad guy then." - That's not an apology. That's martyrdom to make you feel guilty.

Genuine apologies include responsibility, empathy, and a commitment to change. Narcissistic ones are often performances designed to regain control or avoid consequences.

Looking back, I didn't need just an "I'm sorry,"I needed change. But with a narcissist, the apology often is the change. It's the end, not the beginning of healing.

If you've been stuck in a cycle of toxic apologies, I want you to know, your feelings are valid, and real healing doesn't require you to keep accepting blame for someone else's behaviour.

...

12/06/2026

How Narcissists Partner Act When
They Get Jealous from their Spouse!

If you've ever felt confused by their behaviour when someone else gets your attention...
read this carefully.

Because narcissistic jealousy doesn't look like love. It looks like control, insecurity, and quiet punishment.

1. They Suddenly Criticise You
What once felt like admiration turns into subtle digs.
Example, they mock your outfit, your success, or the way others respond to you.

Healing insight: This is not honesty. It is their insecurity trying to shrink you.

1. They Create Competition Where There Was None
They start comparing themselves to others around you.
Example, making comments like "they're not even that attractive" or "you can do better than them."

Healing insight: Healthy love feels secure. It does not need to compete.

1. They Withdraw to Punish You
Instead of communicating, they pull away.
Example, going cold, distant, or silent after you receive attention from others.

Healing insight: Silence here is not peace. It is control.

1. They Accuse You of Disloyalty
Even when you've done nothing wrong.
Example, questioning your intentions, your loyalty, or who you're speaking to.
Healing insight: Their mistrust is a reflection of them, not you.

1. They Try to Regain Control Quickly
They may suddenly become intense again.
Example, love bombing, over-texting, or needing constant reassurance.
Healing insight: This is not love returning. It is control resurfacing.

My final thought...

Their jealousy was never about how much they care about you.
It was about how much control they fear losing.
If you found this helpful, comment "STRONGER” and follow
to support me and your healing journey.






10/06/2026

Not every betrayal looks like sleeping with someone else. Sometimes it is the subtle things done in secret that make you question your worth without ever having proof.

1. Talking about other women with his friends
EG: Laughing about someone's looks, comparing you to her, or joking about what he would do if he was single. That is not harmless banter, it is disrespect.

Truth: If his friends know more about his attraction to other women than his love for you, it is betrayal.

2. Keeping just friends conversations private
EG: Deleting chats, hiding messages, or saying you would overreact if you saw them. If it needs secrecy, it is not innocent.

Truth: Transparency is loyalty, secrecy is cheating in disguise.

3. Giving another woman the emotional intimacy he withholds trom you
EG: Venting to a coworker, confiding in an ex, or sharing struggles with someone else instead of you.

Truth: The moment his safe space is another woman, you are already being replaced emotionally.

4. Acting single online
EG: Following flirty accounts, liking every bikini post, or sliding into DMs while saying it is just social media.
Truth: If he acts single online, he is disrespecting you in real life.

5. Flirting when you are not around
EG: Compliments that cross the line, lingering touches, or playful banter with women he would never want you to see.
Truth: If it would humiliate you to witness it, it is not harmless.

6. Comparing you to other women
EG: Saying she is in great shape or she is more driven. Those comments cut deeper than he admits.
Truth: The woman he chose should never feel second best.

7. Holding onto what if scenarios
EG: Keeping an ex on standby, holding onto old photos, or replaying memories in his head.
Truth: If part of him is still elsewhere, you will always feel like you are competing with ghosts.

My final thought:
Micro cheating cuts deeper than people admit because it chips away at trust one small action at a time. You are not crazy for feeling hurt, you are seeing the truth they are trying to hide.

If you found this helpful, comment “HURT” , follow and I will send you my amazing step by step DIY healing technique aim is to help dissolve the pain of Micro- Cheating by allowing and letting go, rather than suppressing.

08/06/2026

An obsession with cleanliness, is often linked to narcissistic abuse.

If you can't sit still in a messy room, this is for you.

Constantly cleaning, tidying, decluttering - it's not always about liking things neat.
A lot of the time it's a survival response.
Your nervous system learned that order equals safety.

And it's still trying to keep you safe today.
Here's what's actually going on.

1. Control in the chaos
If you grew up in an unstable or abusive house, the only thing you could control was your environment.

Cleaning became how you made yourself safe.

Heal: remind your body you're safe now. Control doesn't have to be your armor anymore.

2. Coping with anxiety
When the feelings get too big, scrubbing gives them somewhere to go.

That spotless room isn't clean. It's your nervous system trying to calm itself down.

Heal: practice sitting with the discomfort. Breath-work.
Journaling. Grounding.

3. Avoiding shame
If you got criticized as a kid for messing up, perfect became how you stayed safe from blame.

Now you do it for them. For their family. For your own inner critic that still sounds like theirs.

Heal: your worth isn't tied to how anything looks.

Numbing through productivity
During heartbreak or abuse, the house sparkles. Because mopping the floor is easier than facing the ache in your chest.

Heal: let yourself be still. The healing happens in the feelings you've been sweeping under the rug.

Decluttering to reclaim power
After trauma, getting rid of stuff feels like shedding the version of you that survived them.

Heal: honor the release. But notice the deeper wound underneath it.
If you find yourself cleaning at 2am, deep cleaning when you're upset, or throwing out everything that reminds you of them - it's not about the mess.

It's your trauma speaking through your hands.
You just haven't been still long enough to feel it yet.

Save this for the next time you catch yourself cleaning instead of feeling.

Send it to 3 people who deep clean when they're falling apart.

Comment RESET when you're ready to find safety somewhere your hands can't reach.

05/06/2026

Pov: Narcissist Behaves Differently Toward Their Spouse Around Others

It's one of the most confusing experiences one can go through...
Watching someone treat you one way in private, and a completely different way when others are watching.

It makes you question your reality, your reactions, even your worth.

Here are 5 ways a narcissist often behaves toward their spouse around others:

1. They perform the "perfect partner."
Example, they suddenly become attentive, affectionate, and charming, praising you in front of others in a way that feels unfamiliar.
Healing insight: This isn't consistency, it's image control.

1. They care how they're seen, not how you feel. They subtly undermine you.
Example, making small "jokes" at your expense, correcting you, or telling stories that make you look forgetful or difficult.
Healing insight: It's designed to lower your confidence
while appearing harmless to everyone else.

3. They dismiss your voice.
Example, talking over you, ignoring your opinions, or changing the subject when you speak.
Healing insight: Public settings become another space where control is maintained, just more quietly.

4. They seek admiration over connection.
Example, dominating conversations, needing attention, and making everything about them while you feel invisible beside them.
Healing insight: Their priority is validation from others, not presence with you.

5. They confuse you with inconsistency.
Example, being warm and kind in front of others, then cold or critical the moment you're alone again.
Healing insight: This push and pull keeps you questioning what's real and holding onto the "good" version.

The hardest part isn't just how they treat you...
It's how no one else sees it.

You start to feel alone in something that's happening right in front of everyone.

My Thought
If their kindness only exists when there's an audience, it isn't love, it's performance. Real love feels safe, consistent, and doesn't disappear when the room empties.

If you found this relatable , comment "I Agree” and let me know what circumstances made you feel so.

03/06/2026

👉🏻10 Facial Cues That Reveal Narcissistic
Personality

1. The "Laser Stare" - Eyes that feel like they're piercing through you, used to intimidate or make you feel small.

2. Delayed Blink - Holding eye contact a beat too long to establish dominance or unsettle you.

3. Micro-smirk - A fleeting corner-lip raise when you're upset, signaling hidden satisfaction at your discomfort.

4. Nostril Flare - Quick, sharp flaring when challenged or when they're about to unleash rage.

5. Tightened Jawline - Clenched jaw, especially when you're asserting boundaries, a sign of suppressed anger or contempt.

6. Raised Eyebrows of Superiority - A slow, exaggerated lift of one or both brows to silently say, "'m above you."

7. Eye Roll with a Scoff - Dismissing your feelings or opinions without words, designed to belittle you.

8. Stone Face Freeze - The sudden emotional shutdown look, used as a punishment during silent treatment.

9. The "Sweet Mask" Switch - An instant shift from scowl to charm when outsiders enter the room.

10. Predatory Smile - A wide, tight-lipped smile after saying something cutting, watching how much it hurts.

Sometimes you don't need to hear a word to know what they're thinking. Their face gives the game away every time.

Do you have any other expressions that should be on this list?

Share them in the comments below

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58 South Molton Street
London
W1K5

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