23/01/2019
10 Notes to My Younger Self 🦋
This slightly blurry pic was taken 10 years a go at my 25th Birthday party in Shoreditch 🍾 As I recently approached 35 it made me reflect on how much I have learnt about myself since then (and how my need for a wild party isn't quite the same!) 🙈 The past few years in particular have been driven by a need to learn how to find more self-acceptance and a better understanding of myself and how I best spend my short time on this earth. My curiosity has led me to explore many approaches that have supported my development including coaching, therapy, reiki, hypnotherapy, yoga, meditation and group therapeutic workshops to name a few. The more I have explored, the more I have learnt so I wanted to make note of ten insights that I have taken from my journey so far and would tell my 25 year old self now.
1. Trust your intuition.
Always.
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2. You don’t need to fit neatly in to a box.
It is more than ok to practice yoga and chant to Krishna Das one day and to drink cocktails and listen to Biggie the next. There is enough room for all of it and you can release the need for boxes and labels.
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3. You can learn accept your body.
Not when you have lost weight, not when you are more toned and not when someone tells you that you are looking well, but in this moment, right now. You might never fully love your body and regardless of how you compare to the latest body trends in the media, it is a gift and will take you to amazing places. The more you fear your body, the more you move away from self-acceptance and wellbeing. Acknowledge all of the things that you have to thank your body for and avoid social media comparison.
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4. You will feel empowered when you chose to say no to unhealthy people and situations.
These decisions will be hard and will take courage but leaving unhealthy relationships and jobs without always knowing what is next will lead you to much better things and will build your confidence and sense of self. Learn to trust yourself even when things look good on paper or people have different opinions of what is right for you. Trust in unknown possibilities.
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5. It is healthy to feel and it is ok to cry.
At some point you learnt that being sensitive and feeling things was a weakness. Whilst you will need to take care of your mental health and not overanalyse your emotions, exploring and understanding them rather than blocking them out will teach you a lot about yourself and will be healing. Crying is needed sometimes to help you to process and move forward and you will always feel better afterwards so stop apologising for it.
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6. It is ok to ask for help.
Whilst you enjoy being independent, you don’t need to do everything on your own and people will be willing to help if you ask them. When you start asking for help, you will learn that you are more supported so much more than you realised.
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7. Listening is underrated.
You don’t always need to know the answers or be able to fix a situation to support someone. There is a lot of time spent ‘doing’ in our society but sometimes ‘being’ with someone and listening to them fully and without judgement may be all that is needed.
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8. Be grateful for the small things.
Acknowledge the joy in the day to day and remember to be present in your life. Watch out for the feeling that you need ‘more’ (beauty, knowledge, likes on social media) as this sense of lack is driven by fear. Strip it all back and you are still worthy of your place on this earth even though you might not always feel that way.
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9. Keep asking questions.
Stay curious. You will be asked questions by people that will make you consider things from a totally new perspective and will create insights that will change the course of your life. Get a coach!
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10. You can be your true self.
It may be hard for you to fully show up and be your true self without fear of rejection but self-development work will enable this. You don’t need to change yourself to fit someone else’s expectations or to be accepted by the people in your life. Once you learn that, you will attract the right people and opportunities.
