15/01/2024
This topic is extremely close to home as we’re currently navigating our way through a VERY apparent Parental Preference stage.
My daughter has a ridiculously strong bond with my husband, to the point where I am completely dismissed when he’s around 😢 It’s ‘Dada bath’ ‘Dada bed’ ‘Dada duddle’, she’s Dada obsessed 😵💫
It’s tough. Tough on both sides. I feel useless and unwanted and he feels overwhelmed, having to do all the bedtime stories and put downs.
My son on the other hand only wants me. He’s even reverted to calling me ‘Mama’. He cries if I don’t do his bedtime. Won’t let anyone else do it. When you’re tired, sometimes it’s not worth the battle of trying to let Daddy do bedtime 🥴
My top tips for anyone struggling with Parental Preference are:-
➡️ Remember it’s a really normal and common developmental phase that children go through. It’s not personal, despite feeling like it is! This phase will pass 🧡 you aren’t doing anything wrong.
➡️ Try not to show your emotions when you’re being pushed away. Take deep breaths and respond with compassion and empathy. We don’t want to put any pressure on them or make them feel like they’re responsible for causing you upset.
➡️ You could shadow bedtime and have both parents there. This can be helpful in certain situations, but doesn’t always work for all.
➡️ Enjoy as much 1:1 time with your child during the day. Lots of eye contact, no phones, filling up that love bucket 🧡 it will only ever help.
Again, please remember that this is just a phase. Children love to test boundaries. If they’re pushing you to your limits, it’s a sign that they fully trust you aren’t going anywhere.