ADHD Confident

28/05/2026

Parents often describe their ADHD child's lying as manipulative. In most cases, it isn't.

A child with weak inhibitory control answers before they've decided what to say. The denial is out of their mouth before any "should I lie?" calculation has happened.

And for a child with strong rejection sensitivity, the flinch is bigger, because being caught doesn't just mean trouble. It means exposure, and exposure feels unbearable.

That changes what works for a parent.

The instinct is to confront: "Why did you your sister's maltesers?!" But cornering a rejection-sensitive child triggers a reflex denial - so switching to a flat statement ("I can see you ate them") corners them just as hard. The problem was never the wording. It's that you've made honesty the path that leads straight into shame.

So take the shame out of the moment, not the consequence.

Separate the two out loud. Start with what they're not in trouble for: "You're not in trouble for being hungry, and you're really not in trouble for telling me the truth." Then the part that stays firm: "But those maltesers were your sister's, they weren't yours to take. So you'll pay her back out of your pocket money."

The child still faces a consequence. What they don't face is rejection. Rejection sensitivity is triggered by feeling cast out, not by being held to account. So you can be firm about the maltesers and unmistakably clear that you're disappointed but haven’t rejected them as a person.

That's the line most parents miss: warm on the child, firm on the behaviour.

None of this means lying goes unaddressed. It means addressing it should match what's actually driving it, which, for most ADHD kids, is impulse and shame, not calculation.

07/01/2026

https://www.adhdconfident.com/post/sleep-strategies-for-children-with-adhd

For many children with ADHD, bedtime can be one of the most stressful parts of the day. As a parent, you might have noticed your child lying awake, thoughts racing through their mind, or seen them struggling to switch off even after a long day. Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a significant r...

19/08/2025

As parents, there are moments when patience runs out and we make mistakes. Afterwards, many parents feel guilty and worry that they’ve damaged their child’s trust.
The truth is, trust isn’t built on being perfect. It’s built on how we repair when things go wrong. For children who often experience more criticism than praise, repair is not only possible but essential.
In my latest article, I share practical ways to rebuild trust after yelling, including what to do if your child runs away or withdraws. My hope is that it reassures parents that mistakes don’t define them and that mistakes can actually strengthen the bond they have with their child.

Parenting a child with ADHD brings immense joy, creativity, and energy to family life, but it also comes with unique challenges. The impulsivity, intensity, and resistance to everyday routines can test even the most patient parent. At times, emotions run high, and despite our best intentions, we fin...

23/07/2025

Please read my summer newsletter with insights, ideas, and some tips on how to get your kids through the summer holiday...

Some practical ideas to help keep children calm, connected, and engaged throughout the summer break

30/06/2025

https://www.adhdconfident.com/post/depression-in-children-with-adhd

Children and teenagers with ADHD face a much higher risk of developing depression compared to their peers, with research showing that around 11% experience both conditions. Girls with ADHD are particularly vulnerable. Early identification and tailored support are key to reducing the emotional strugg...

07/04/2025

https://www.adhdconfident.com/post/giving-your-adhd-child-a-smartphone

If you're parenting a child with ADHD, you already know: traditional rules often don’t cut it. Structure isn’t just helpful - it’s essential. And that includes how you give gifts. Especially big ones!Let’s talk about why giving your child a phone - or topping it up with data every month - wi...

16/01/2024

https://www.adhdconfident.com/post/parenting-the-think-through-approach

Parenting a child with ADHD presents a set of challenges that are unique to every family. Establishing and maintaining routines - a fundamental aspect of child development - can prove particularly daunting. This post delves into the concept of a 'think-through' - a nuanced technique designed to assi...

10/08/2023

What can a private tutor do differently to support your child's ADHD? My latest blog post on what it takes to be an ADHD-friendly tutor 📚

Every parent I’ve worked with has shown a tremendous value in their child’s education. One of the most frequent concerns I get from parents is fear that their child may fail to achieve their academic potential. In the world of education, a one-size-fits-all approach often falls short when addres...

12/07/2023

Struggling to get your child to brush their teeth? 😬
Check out my latest article with some practical tips to make toothbrushing easier...

Any parent reading this will know that bringing up a child with ADHD comes with many challenges. One daily struggle many parents ask me about is getting their child to brush their teeth regularly and consistently. Children with ADHD struggle with mundane tasks, especially first thing in the morning....

15/06/2023

https://www.adhdconfident.com/post/top-five-incentives-for-children-with-adhd

Managing a child’s ADHD and promoting positive behaviours is a huge challenge for parents and teachers. One strategy that is often overlooked is the use of ‘incentives’. Some parents tell me that they’re uncomfortable with the idea of incentives, as they see it as a form of bribery. It’s i...