07/09/2026
So, Lincoln Invictus 50s kicked off the 2026/27 Lincolnshire Walking Football League 50s Premiership division on Sunday, 6 September. We played three games and received three comprehensive reminders of what life is like in the top division (and why getting out of bed on Monday morning required a detailed risk assessment).
But hey, let's look on the bright side: nobody required a stretcher, and miraculously, nobody got blue-carded! ๐๐ผ
Here is a mostly made-up but honest breakdown (๐ค) of our latest exploits on the pitch:
๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ญ: ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต ๐ฏ - ๐ฎ (๐๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐)
We opened against Gainsborough in the best possible wayโa goal from the new boy, ๐๐ฑ๐ถ, with only a few seconds on the clock, before the camera was even thinking about rolling! It turns out that surviving on a mere three hours of sleep is the ultimate pre-match prep, because he smashed in a second not long after (missed that one, too ๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ).
Unfortunately, Gainsborough mastered the fundamentals of winning (namely, score more than you concede) and managed to put three past us to steal the points. Next time, we're making sure Adi stays up all night ๐ซฉ
๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฎ: ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐บ๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ง๐ผ๐๐ป ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฏ - ๐ญ (๐๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐)
Another three goals conceded. Our sole consolation came from the spot, courtesy of a superstitious Steve D. He might not be brave enough to wear the number 13 shirt, but he has absolutely no fear of stepping up to take a penalty. And there was no messing about with placement or finesse; he simply blasted it home with sheer venom. Glorious, unstoppable brute force! Clearly, he would have missed had he worn the number 13!
๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฏ: ๐๐ผ๐๐๐ผ๐ป ๐จ๐๐ฑ ๐ฏ - ๐ฌ (๐๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐)
The good news: we got a hat-trick! The bad news: it wasnโt exactly the good kind ๐. Letโs say we were obviously aiming for consistency, with another 3 goals conceded. But if anyone asks, weโre telling them it was an absolute thriller. To be fair, we did fire off several great shots on target, but the Boston keeper rudely decided to try ๐.
Poor Barry in goal might have felt that our defence was taking a somewhat "scenic and decorative" approach to marking in this one. But, despite three slipping past him, he pulled off some fantastic saves to keep the result from looking like a cricket score.
๐ฆ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐...
Forget the zero points on the board. We achieved the true walking football holy grail: Zero penalties conceded for running offences! ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ
Now, was this down to our impeccable athletic discipline, or perhaps our creaking joints? Or maybe it was because Steve D didnโt wear the number 13 shirt. Weโll let you know when we recover from the shock. ๐
Despite the results, it was a great effort by all the players, so a big well done for persevering ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ
https://www.lincolninvictus.co.uk/club-info/walking-football
