28/07/2022
EARLY IN 2019ā¦
my unresolved trauma paid me a visit while I was at home.
All my anger, and all my wounds, came to the surface and I started to feel very alone in the world.
I had experienced tough times, and dark thoughts, before. But this was different, I was losing control.
Even in my state of denial I was forced to accept I was suffering from mental illness. I was in a permanent state of anxiety, and I could barely function. I was hyper vigilant and I constantly felt defensive around peopleā¦and I just couldnāt switch it off.
I took almost 3 months off work to recover. During that time I went to Peru to hike Machu Picchu.
I often get asked if I had any major revelations at the top of the mountain. But the truth is you donāt overcome your problems at the top of a mountain.
You overcome them by getting out into the big bad world, by getting your ass kicked, and by being around people, because people are excellent at triggering your wounds and forcing you to face yourself.
Climbing mountains and sitting on the meditation mat is so good for the soul, I donāt deny that.
But you learn where you are in life when youāre in the arena.
And if you mess up today, tomorrow offers another round of opportunities to grow and to be more the person you were before the wounds were created.
Healing starts with intention, and acceptance of where you are now.
AG ā„ļø