Aldridge Counselling Services

Aldridge Counselling Services I provide a professional and confidential counselling service based in Hertford Town.

I have a specialised interest in the subjects of Addictions, PTSD & Trauma, Anxiety and Relationships. This has meant that a focus of my work and training, has been aimed at these areas. I am also a lived experience practitioner of addiction (I’m in recovery myself), that gives me a unique insight to this area.

When you feel overwhelmed, what happens first?
31/08/2026

When you feel overwhelmed, what happens first?

Have you ever noticed that under stress you either become highly anxious and overwhelmed — or go in the opposite directi...
27/08/2026

Have you ever noticed that under stress you either become highly anxious and overwhelmed — or go in the opposite direction and completely shut down?

The window of tolerance is a useful way of understanding why this can happen.

When we are within our window, we can experience difficult emotions while still being able to think, communicate and stay connected to what is happening around us.

When we move above it, the nervous system can enter a state of hyperarousal — anxiety, panic, anger, racing thoughts or hypervigilance.

When we move below it, we can enter hypoarousal — numbness, withdrawal, exhaustion or feeling disconnected.

For people who have experienced trauma, this window can sometimes become narrower, meaning the nervous system responds strongly to situations that resemble previous experiences of threat.

Trauma-informed counselling can help people recognise these responses, understand their triggers and gradually develop greater capacity to regulate difficult emotions.

The goal isn’t to remove every uncomfortable feeling.

It’s to increase our ability to experience those feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.

Do you recognise yourself more in hyperarousal or hypoarousal?

What trauma does to the brain and nervous systemFor the carousel, I’d use:1. Trauma changes how the brain responds to th...
24/08/2026

What trauma does to the brain and nervous system

For the carousel, I’d use:

1. Trauma changes how the brain responds to threat
2. After trauma, the nervous system can become more sensitive to danger — even when the current situation is safe.
3. The amygdala can become more reactive, increasing fear, vigilance and rapid threat responses.
4. The prefrontal cortex, which helps with reasoning and regulation, can be less effective when the nervous system is highly activated.
5. This can lead to fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses that feel automatic rather than chosen.
6. Trauma can also affect memory. Some people experience fragmented recall, strong emotional memories or triggers that feel disconnected from the original event.
7. Behaviours such as avoidance, emotional numbing, hypervigilance, substance use or people-pleasing can develop as attempts to regulate overwhelming internal states.
8. Recovery is not about “just moving on.” It often involves helping the nervous system learn that the present is safer than the past.

You can want to change and still struggle to change.Those two things can exist at the same time.Someone struggling with ...
20/08/2026

You can want to change and still struggle to change.

Those two things can exist at the same time.

Someone struggling with addiction may genuinely mean it when they say:

“I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

And they may still use again.

A setback doesn’t necessarily mean someone doesn’t care.

Recovery is rarely as simple as deciding once and never struggling again.

Sometimes the next step is simply being able to say:

“I’m struggling, and I need some help.”

Why shame can keep addiction goingShame says:“I should be able to stop.”“What’s wrong with me?”“I’ve messed everything u...
18/08/2026

Why shame can keep addiction going

Shame says:

“I should be able to stop.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I’ve messed everything up.”
“People would think differently of me if they knew.”

And those thoughts can create exactly the feelings someone is trying to escape.

So they use alcohol, drugs or another behaviour to cope.

There’s temporary relief.

Then comes regret.

Then more shame.

And the cycle begins again.

Breaking that cycle isn’t about removing responsibility.

It’s about understanding that shame and change are not the same thing.

People are far more able to make meaningful changes when they can talk honestly about what’s happening without expecting judgement.

Shame makes people hide.
Support gives people somewhere to start.

ShameAndAddiction RecoveryIsPossible

“If they know it’s hurting them, why don’t they just stop?”Because knowing something is harmful and being able to stop d...
16/08/2026

“If they know it’s hurting them, why don’t they just stop?”

Because knowing something is harmful and being able to stop doing it are two very different things.

Addiction can become tied to coping.

Stress → use
Anxiety → use
Loneliness → use
Difficult memories → use
Shame about using → use again

From the outside, we see the behaviour.

But underneath it there may be a person trying to manage feelings they don’t know how to manage another way.

That doesn’t mean ignoring the consequences of addiction.

It means recognising that lasting change often requires us to look at what the behaviour is doing for the person, not only what it is doing to them.

AlcoholSupport

Instead of only asking “Why won’t you stop?”
We can also ask “What makes stopping so difficult?”

One thing I’ve learnt from 15 years working in addiction services…People rarely come to counselling because they’re “wea...
06/07/2026

One thing I’ve learnt from 15 years working in addiction services…

People rarely come to counselling because they’re “weak.”

More often, they’ve spent years being incredibly strong.

They’ve coped.
They’ve survived.
They’ve carried responsibilities that few people ever see.

Sometimes alcohol, drugs, perfectionism, overworking, people pleasing or withdrawing from others become ways of managing emotional pain.

These strategies may have helped at one time, but eventually they can begin to keep us stuck.

One of the greatest privileges of my work is seeing people begin to understand themselves differently.

Not through blame.

Not through shame.

But through compassion, curiosity and self-awareness.

Healing often starts when we stop asking,

“What’s wrong with me?”

and begin asking,

“What has happened to me, and how has it shaped the way I cope?”

That question can change everything.

— Gary Aldridge MBACP

Psychotherapy BACP EmotionalWellbeing AnxietySupport SelfAwareness HealingJourney Hertford Hertfordshire OnlineCounselling AldridgeCounselling

16 years today, thank you to my wife, family and friends inside and outside of the 12 step fellowship.
21/04/2026

16 years today, thank you to my wife, family and friends inside and outside of the 12 step fellowship.

We’re officially 4 weeks out from the Bounce for Change Inflatable Race — and we couldn’t be more excited to have you wi...
27/03/2026

We’re officially 4 weeks out from the Bounce for Change Inflatable Race — and we couldn’t be more excited to have you with us! 🎉

On Saturday 25 April, I’ll be taking on giant inflatables, lots of laughs, and making a real difference for women in crisis across Hertfordshire 💛

Here’s a reminder of the broad Druglink fundraising link: www.givey.com/bounceforchange. Every share, every pound, every conversation helps support women starting over with nothing - and that’s what this is all about.

TODAY, the Druglink Team will be running a 5k in Hyde Park, London - with an aim to raise £3,000. Our team consists of c...
26/04/2025

TODAY, the Druglink Team will be running a 5k in Hyde Park, London - with an aim to raise £3,000. Our team consists of clients, staff and friends of Druglink - many who are completely new to running. Our clients have been donated running shoes from , another wonderful charity.

Visit https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/druglink5k to sponsor our amazing team! 💜💙💚

Address

Hertford
SG14

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 9pm
Saturday 9am - 1pm

Telephone

07506858195

Website

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