28/05/2026
GGHC vs Humbie
26.05.26 The “Dracula” Derby
Played under sunny skies… though shadows loomed long on World Dracula Day (26th May).
On a suspiciously warm evening—described in the official scorebook with the understated charm of “lovely evening”—two ancient rivals, Gifford and Humbie, gathered once more for their annual cricketing clash. Little did the unsuspecting spectators (one man and his dog), know that beneath the golden sunshine lurked something far darker… for this match fell on World Dracula Day, and the contest would prove to be an absolute bloodbath (figuratively speaking… mostly).
🏏 Gifford Bat First – A Feast Begins
Having won the toss, Humbie chose to field first—perhaps hoping to draw first blood. However, Gifford’s openers, Callum S-D and E. Forde, emerged from the pavilion like a pair of hungry vampires strolling into a midnight buffet.
They wasted no time sinking their teeth into the Humbie bowling, racing off to a fang-tastic start. Callum, in particular, looked positively immortal at the crease, blazing his way to 18 before—tragically—perishing to the faintest of edges. It was so slight it could only be described as a vampiric whisper through to the keeper, courtesy of the Humbie captain – Harry Bell.
Forde, meanwhile, proved harder to kill than Dracula himself, retiring unbeaten on 20—presumably deciding he’d drained enough runs for one evening and was off to avoid the rising sun.
Further contributions came thick and fast:
• Andrew Murray (14) – leading from the front like a true Count of the crease
• Chris (14) – quietly accumulating in the shadows
• Ian (22) – the undisputed Lord of the Runs
By the end of their innings, Gifford had posted a formidable 138, leaving Humbie needing more than just garlic and crosses to chase it down.
🧛 Humbie’s Reply – Rise of the Night Creatures
Humbie took to the field with a squad rumoured to include several family members… and what can only be described as ‘Goblin reserves’... Still stinging from last year’s defeat, they began their chase with a frighteningly strong start.
The Millman duo combined for 43 runs, batting with all the menace of two vampires freshly emerged from their coffins. For a moment, it seemed Gifford might be the ones feeling faint.
However, just as darkness threatened to fall, Gifford’s bowlers struck back with holy-water precision. Wickets began to tumble:
• Andrew Scott departed for a duck (clearly bitten early and unable to recover).
• The Bells rang hollow, falling in quick succession.
• Only Salvesen (19) managed to resist for any length of time
Wickets were shared like offerings at a Gothic banquet:
• Callum Harvey, Jonny, Robin S, Ian, and Mark all chipped in with one apiece.
• Nick B and Forde each claimed two—proving particularly deadly hunters of the night.
🧛♂️ Fielding… or a Comedy of Horrors
Despite the disciplined bowling, Gifford’s fielding at times descended into something resembling a low-budget horror show.
The most notable moment came when E. Forde—perhaps momentarily hypnotised by the full moon—allowed a ball to trickle past him and over the boundary. He later compounded matters by dropping a catch at Cow Corner, robbing Callum S-D of a deserved wicket.
If looks could kill, E. Forde would have been six feet under by that point, as Callum glared with enough intensity to raise the dead. Indeed, he might even have completed a stumping… had he not been so busy contemplating Forde's untimely demise.
Elsewhere, overthrows flew around like bats in a belfry, in a sequence that would not have looked out of place in a Benny Hill sketch—albeit one directed by Dracula himself.
🧤 Hugh – The Redeemer of the Night
Amidst the chaos, one man rose like a hero from the crypt: Hugh.
Volunteering to take the gloves, Hugh proved an inspired addition behind the stumps—moving with the grace of a vampire bat and the confidence of one who’d clearly been doing this in a previous life.
He capped a stellar performance with:
• A sharp run-out of Charlie Bell.
• A clean catch off Mark’s bowling sending Humbie keeper Joe, back to the pavilion.
🏁 Final Verdict – Rivals Slain
In the end, Gifford’s total of 138 proved just out of reach for Humbie, whose promising start faded like a vampire at dawn.
The local rivalry once again delivered drama, tension, and no shortage of supernatural shenanigans. While Humbie showed flashes of bite, Gifford ultimately proved they still rule the night.
🧛 Final Thoughts
A glorious evening of cricket, camaraderie, and questionable fielding—perfectly fitting for World Dracula Day.
Whether it was bats (cricket or otherwise), goblins in the field, or players going for ducks with eerie regularity, one thing is certain:
This derby had more bite than ever—and Gifford left Humbie well and truly drained. 🩸🏏
