Melanie Swift Coaching

Melanie Swift Coaching Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching ✨ 10 years experience ✨ Neurodiverse friendly

22/06/2026

I know it’s hard.
I know it’s painful.
But many times in life (whether a relationship, career, identity, house or friendship etc) when something reaches a point that the anxiety of staying outweighs the pain of leaving…. It’s time to listen to your intuition and love yourself enough to move onwards.

I’ve had to pick myself up many times over in my life and leave many identities behind. There’s grief with letting go, but also excitement for what is to come.

Send this to someone who is in this transition right now to remind them they’ll be ok ❤️

With love,
Mel

❤️Don’t waste your time on people who can’t love you in the way you want to be loved (let go of the potential and look a...
20/06/2026

❤️Don’t waste your time on people who can’t love you in the way you want to be loved (let go of the potential and look at the reality).

❤️Don’t waste your time in relationships that have passed their expiry date (it will only continue to drain you).

❤️Don’t waste your time waiting for people to change to be what you want them to be (they won’t, so change your mindset about them instead until you’re no longer attracted to them).

I see clients spend years hung up on either marriages they no longer align with, ex partners they can’t let go of, or emotionally unavailable partners they are waiting endlessly for, and ultimately the point comes where you have to choose yourself instead.

If you need support navigating this, my sessions are £125 for 90 mins or £450 for a block of 4.

With love,
Mel ❤️

If you’d like help understanding yourself in relationships and how to heal from either getting overly attached and anxio...
17/06/2026

If you’d like help understanding yourself in relationships and how to heal from either getting overly attached and anxious, or shutting down potentially good partners just as you get close, I can help.
With love, Mel ❤️

15/06/2026

When someone asks you to do something that you can’t or don’t want to do (obviously apply nuance here) a boundary that all empaths and people pleasers need to learn is how to say….

🔥 “That doesn’t work for me” 🔥
(oof uncomfortable for many people I know 🙈)

Not endless “I’m so sorry but….”
Or “Yes I’ll make that work”
Or “Don’t worry it’s ok, I can…”

Just a simple “that doesn’t work for me” 🫶🏼

No explanations of why it doesn’t work.
No justifying what you’re doing instead.
No negotiating your boundaries to make others lives easier at your expense.

Offer an alternative if you want to, but you don’t need to constantly rearrange your whole life to accommodate others needs and then feel burned out as a result.

Highly sensitive people, empaths, people pleasers etc, all tend to feel the discomfort of saying no or feel awkward for the other person and so we naturally try to bridge the gap.

🔥 But psychologically this doesn’t make people respect you more. It just makes them value you less.

You have to respect yourself first, and that’s means actually valuing your own needs, in order for others to value you too.

This will then affect the types of friendships and romantic relationships you entertain, as the people who were only using you will disappear.

With love,
Mel ❤️

Divorcees…. my wish for you;❤️ I hope you heal so hard that married you wouldn’t even recognise single you if they met e...
14/06/2026

Divorcees…. my wish for you;

❤️ I hope you heal so hard that married you wouldn’t even recognise single you if they met each other today.

❤️ I hope you heal so hard that your nervous system relaxes.

❤️I hope you heal so hard you laugh until your tummy hurts again.

❤️I hope you heal so hard that what you once tolerated as normal would now repulse you.

❤️I hope you heal so hard you the little kid inside you comes out again.

Yes GETTING divorced is hard.

But BEING divorced is where you redefine a whole new identity. And you can be whoever you want in the next chapter. ✌🏻

Please share with anyone in the middle of this process.

With love,
Mel ❤️

12/06/2026

What you feel you heal, what you suppress you prolong. I help clients untangle all emotions, without judgement or shame, they are all helpful messengers.

If you want a safe space to unravel, I can help. With love, Mel 💗


One for the singles - ❤️If someone tells you that you’re too good for them, believe them. (You might not think you are, ...
12/06/2026

One for the singles -

❤️If someone tells you that you’re too good for them, believe them. (You might not think you are, but either they know parts of themselves that you don’t yet or they don’t want to put the work in that it would require to keep you)

❤️If someone tells you they aren’t ready for a relationship, believe them. (As much as you might want them to be, you can’t rush someone else’s timeline)

❤️If someone tells you they don’t deserve you, over time their low self worth is more likely to bring you down to match them rather than elevate themselves to meet you.

❤️If someone tells you that every ex partner was crazy, they are likely the common denominator.

People always reveal themselves through what they say, the hard bit is listening what they are actually saying instead of hearing what we want it to mean. Take people as they are, not as projects to fix.

With love,
Mel ❤️

Do you find the same patterns repeating in your relationships? Either;💫Always chasing emotionally unavailable partners?💫...
11/06/2026

Do you find the same patterns repeating in your relationships? Either;

💫Always chasing emotionally unavailable partners?
💫Attracting partners who use, gaslight or manipulate you?
💫Are repeatedly cheated on or worry that you will be?
💫Always end up carrying the emotional weight of the relationship alone?

Then it’s not coincidence. Who we attract is often a reflection of what our nervous systems recognise and what we subconsciously expect love to look like (eg having to earn or prove yourself for love).

I help clients on all ends of this spectrum by healing their inner attachment styles (which usually form in childhood) and watch as they start attracting different types of partners.

The main attachment styles are;

❤️Anxious Attachment-

-Strong need for assurance and validation
-Your mood is heavily influenced by partners behavior
-Fear losing the relationship or not being worthy of it
-Spend a lot of time overthinking relationships and reading meaning into everything
-Deeply loving and crave a strong connection

❤️Secure Attachment

-Have a healthy view of relationships and allow others to be who they are (without trying to control them)
-Comfortable with both intimacy and independence
-Can communicate needs calmly and clearly
-Trust comes naturally
-Can tolerate conflict without fear of abandonment

❤️Avoidant Attachment

-Feels uncomfortable relying on others or intimacy growing too strong
-Tends to withdraw or shutdown when things get emotionally intense
-Prefers self sufficiency and autonomy
-Avoids emotional vulnerability and finds emotional conversations difficult
-Feels safer putting distance in between themselves and close connections

If two secure people get into a relationship it is going to feel much calmer and more balanced than if for example you have two avoidant attachers (very emotionally distant), two anxious attachers (very emotionally clingy) or the more toxic cycle that tends to come from one anxious attachers with one avoidant attacher (full of push/pull, hot/cold cycles).

The work I do with clients is to heal their own attachment style into becoming as Secure within themselves as possible, which in turn changes who they attract and who they are attracted to.

If you’d like support with this (whether you’re in a relationship or looking for one), please get in touch for a free call.

With love,
Mel 💗

You can’t expect honesty from someone who lies to themselves.You can’t expect emotional accountability from someone who ...
09/06/2026

You can’t expect honesty from someone who lies to themselves.

You can’t expect emotional accountability from someone who runs from their own feelings.

You can’t expect vulnerability from someone who won’t acknowledge their shadows.

Overly kind people tend to project their depth onto others and then feel disappointed when it doesn’t get returned. But it’s important to remember emotional depth is a gift, not a standard that everyone shares.

So you have to be discerning as to who gets access to your gentleness, forgiveness, understanding and compassion. Just because you can understand why everyone might behave the way they do, it doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it.

With love,
Mel ❤️

So proud of this wonderful client on her progress since we did my 4 week crack cravings course. Absolutely amazing 🤩 (Th...
08/06/2026

So proud of this wonderful client on her progress since we did my 4 week crack cravings course. Absolutely amazing 🤩
(Thank you so much for leaving this kind comment on my instagram 🙏🏻❤️)

If you’d like to book a free consultation call to find out more, please message me or comment on this post 💫💫💫 (suitable for any addiction, most common sugar/alcohol/crisps/chocolate)

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Fishponds

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+447766914995

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