18/01/2026
2016 was life changing.
We had been trying for a baby for a while and had gone down the IVF route. Fur baby came first (after a mmc) but then it happened.. baby no 1 started to grow, got a heartbeat, passed all it's tests, ended us back in hospital with terrible bleeding half way through and then lodged himself in an awkward position which made labour long and excruciating and ending in emergency c section.
When he arrived we were in love and so relieved. But then I nearly starved him to death because I was desperately trying to breast feed and not realizing that I was only producing the tiniest amount of milk. The nurse said it was the worst case she had ever seen and dumped a bottle of formula into him. I felt terrible.
Things were very weird to start with. I needed to catch up on sleep and recover but it wasn't really possible because the baby needed me, a lot, all through the night. I shuffled about, leaning on the pram when I was out and wearing maternity wear for far longer than I think you're meant to (I still haven't given up on the tummy button high soft pants, and I still like to cover that that scar up). I remember it being an exhausting, emotional blur.
Yeah. That was 2016! But it very gently got easier. My body did start to work on again, I did shrink, my b***s did finally work and I then couldn't stop breastfeeding, I met lifelong friends at fitness classes .club
the dog forgave me for bringing a baby into our lives and actually liked him, my husband was a bloody brilliant dad and then we did it all again two years later naturally.
I guess the reason I'm posting this on here is for the new mums, even the mums of toddlers. It can feel like you're done for sometimes, that you'll always be sleep deprived, unfit, unable to remember your words and at the mercy of the kids, but it really does get easier. You need to get support wherever you can, whether it's family and friends, fitness classes, a cleaner, a dog walker, just get help. Sleep where you can and do whatever you can to eat well and look after yourself. Your tummy will never look quite the same but don't worry about that, you can be strong and capable again I promise.
