03/08/2022
Bit late due to holidays...this weeks Durm report
Mayfield 2nds vs M**f Field 2nds
M**f Field won the toss and elected to field. Myself & Waqas Ahmed opened the batting with Frank
‘Frankie’ Powell and Kashif ‘Kash’ Iqbal opening the bowling.
Mayfield got off to a decent start with the 1st wicket partnership reaching 19 which included a 4 and
a 6 from Waqas (14), before Frankie had one bounce to the upstanding Paul Leach - who very
sharply stumped Waqas as his foot was dangling above the popping crease. 19-1.
Paul Leach is far too good a keeper for Group C. His glove work was impeccable, particularly as he
spent most of the innings stood up.
Matthew Gent (0) joining me, and I was hopeful of an innings like Baildon away. No such luck. 1 run
was added before Matthew got a leading edge that skied up to cover-point where Sateesh Maurya
pouched a comfortable catch off the bowling of Kash. 20-2.
Mohammed Ansar joined me and after the pre-game jibing of him saying, “I’m catching up to you
now, Mr D!” (Me on 179 2nd team league runs and he on 117) I actually hoped, he’d get up to my
total after the start we’d had. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Just 3 runs were added before
Ansar (0) managed to chop on a delivery that wouldn’t have hit an 8th stump; yet it cannoned into
off-stump off the bowling of Kash. 23-3.
Harry Slater came in. 23-3 after 7 overs. I said to him, “I may as well have opened with you again in
hindsight! Least you’ve batted 11 overs in each of your last two innings…”
Then Harry did what Harry does. Plays good shots, late, under his eye. Whether it be in attack or
defence. He had the M**f Field stalwarts craving to be able to do such a thing!!! We added 15 in our
partnership and Harry (1) looked in absolutely no trouble, until a Frankie delivery kept a tad low and
bowled ‘H’ off stump. Well batted again, H. 38-4.
Saad Abdullah (0) joined me at the crease, and we added 7. Unfortunately, he didn’t add to our total
before being bowled by Kash. 39-5.
David Gooch (1) joined me and I was determined not to run him out! Ffs, he’s not let me hear the
end of the last time; he’d be un-f**king-bearable if I did it again!!! ‘Goochy’, playing decent shots
and me saying waiting. Then one which actually beat the fielder and I said “waiting” till I realised it
had and apologised as I passed him to make sure he couldn’t catch John Farr’s 6 ducks (not at the
time of writing; but at the time of the innings). Goochy played some nice shots to leg off Frankie,
including making a comment to Frankie after he decided to go back over the wicket having bowled
at me. ”Yeah, I expected you to go back over to me being right handed.”
Frankie, perplexed having bowled over and round all innings… I say, “Don’t worry Frankie, he just
needs to have the last word. I’ve learnt this over the years…”
Frankie curtailed Goochy’s final word by bowling him leg stump to one that angled in and beat the
inside edge. 46-6.
My hopes of a batting point up in smoke. Rolled for 55. But wait… who rocks up but Musab Khan!
‘What a player, what an innings. This game has been kept alive by one player and that player’s name
is Musab Khan!’ (I really hope Nasser Hussain and Sky Cricket don’t sue me!!!)
Musab (48) arrives to the wicket and rather than just say ‘’stay with me’’ as I had the previous 5
players, I said, “Play your natural game. We need runs.” To be fair, Musab appreciated the position
we were in and played accordingly. 3x4s, 3x6s 2x2s and the rest singles in a brilliant 48. He played a
shot too many and got bowled by Asheen Kumar. 105-7. Very well batted Musab. Took us from no
batting points to two. 105-7.
Ehtisham Saleem (who shouldn’t have even been playing with a broken finger) batted with fortitude
and added 12 with me including the shot of the day – a superb cover drive all along the carpet for
four! Martin and myself looked at each other and nodded. “Shot of the day, that!” said Martin.
“Yep.”
From the sublime to the ridiculous as ‘Ehti’ played what I think was a shot aimed over long on and
got a outside edge and it ballooned up high to mid-off who took the catch. Keeper Paul Leach airing
what everyone else was thinking – how can he play a cover drive like that and then a shot like that?
Simply his broken finger was feeling sore and didn’t have the same grip or control. Well batted
though, bud. 7 more runs than we expected to get out of you. We thought you may not bat. 117-8
Captain John Farr came to the wicket. Said, “Carry your bat. I’ll try see some overs off with you”
“…and let’s try get to 125, John.”
I hit my 5th four.
John blocked balls that he could have potentially played. In hindsight I think he wishes he was more
attacking like at Pudsey Congs last week where he was injured and couldn’t run, so came out
swinging!!! Unfortunately John secured his 7th duck of the season – Piyush Vishwakarama bowling
him - and as such only a 1st team player could catch him in the hunt for the tinned smelly fish... 121-9
(all out). Innings closed.
M**f Field got their innings under way with Paul Leach and Frank Powell opening; with John Farr and
Harry Slater opening the bowling.
Paul hit a single and Frankie a boundary before John trapped Frankie LBW for 4. 5-1.
Stephen Broadbent arrived at the crease. A man that loves to antagonise John Farr at the best of
times; certain decisions and instances during the game, exacerbated John’s patience.
5-1 became 9-2 when Paul Leach was clean bowled by a Harry Slater delivery that was too quick for
him.
Asheen Kumar came in and changed the game. Although far from a chanceless innings – Harry
having 3 attempts – one a very sharp ct&b chance, and then 2 that he skied a long way up, which H
had to run and chase (the second over his shoulder) he unfortununately put down. The first hitting
the finger tips, the second wrapping him full on the left tit! (You’ll have a decent bruise there by
now!)
But that said, Harry; I’d much rather, players go for chances and drop them, than shirk the
responsibility and let it bounce. You were ALL IN yesterday and fully deserved the FP!
Asheen and Steve put on 65 with John Farr getting more and more irate at Steve’s presence at a
perceived unjust decision by Martin.
Mohammed Ansar replaced the tiring and luckless Harry. ’Ansar’ was on the money straight away
and when he bowls like this he’s irresistible!!!
But it was John’s next over that got the big wicket of Asheen (51) having bowled him and the stump
was set back. (That confirmed he was annoyed – more venom in that delivery!) 74-3.
Kashif Iqbal whose all-round performance to winning the game on the opening weekend, was cut off
by yours truly – came to the crease. In at 74-3 cruising to victory.
You’ve underestimated our players’ will – AGAIN!
6 runs were added and Ansar had Steve plumb lbw. So much so, he walked straight off according to
Martin. 80-4.
Mohammed Bismillah joined the irremovable Kash…Fortunately Mo was movable. Ansar trapping
him lbw for a duck. 84-5.
Mo Bismillah was out last ball of the over from Ansar. Goochy chatting away at the FOW.
Martin has now took his position – BANG IN FRONT OF HIM BTW… Goochy gets settled after
chatting. I couldn’t allow him to crouch… I had to say, “Are you not gonna move to that end of the
pitch, no?!
Figured Martin being stood in front of you, might have been a giveaway!”
“Alright we’re even. You’ve got me. That was absolute stupidity on my part.”
“Yes. Yes, it was.”
“I may even do a report now, simply for that instance…”
Speaking of reports – last weekend’s is lacking. Although, I can’t do it full justice; let’s point out some
highlights…
‘H’ got out a batter that has played 10 times for their 2nds in the Bradford League for 4. He got 60
against M**f Field the week before and 70 yesterday v Cookridge.
John Farr took two ct&b – TWO!!! All about the fantasy points…
Faisal had a welcomed return – for us at least. Shame we couldn’t back him up in the field.
Waqas with 2 good wickets and a superb grab by Goochy to dismiss A Slack immediately after his
ton.
Batting wise. A lowlight would be my buddy Bill Marshall triggering me for a second time in two
innings. Just goes to show that when I’m not cheated out, I can bat time… Hmmm.
Gooch and Ansar proving once again that they bat well together.
Most shockingly, John Farr scoring runs. Injured, on his arse – went out swinging with 14 – may I
suggest you go out swinging more often…
Anyway, I digress. Back to the game…
Piyush Vishwakarama joined Kash and they added 6 with Ansar bowling his straight lines again and
getting another .90-6.
After Steve Broadbent got out and could no longer annoy him, John bowled well. I wanted him out
of the attack before Ansar came on. He proved me wrong. Well bowled John in your later overs.
Naweed Ur Rehman came and went. A boundary and out, bowled by John. 94-7.
Sateesh Maurya came to the crease with a foreboding feeling and he can’t quite work out why.
He had no time to work it out. 5 runs added. 99-8.
Chris Walsh rocks up to the crease. 23 to win. Huge pressure. He and Kash played brilliantly and
with 12 runs to win Ansar achieves the perfect edge. Unfortunately Gooch moving to leg has to
move back and one-handed can’t grasp it.
I’ll agree that you’d have been an absolute hero to catch that; yet I’m 0.00001% chuffed as f**k that
you dropped it, cos we would have never heard the f**king end of it!!!???!!!
After that Chris drove one about a foot past me for 4.
They eventually saw it off and beat us.
Facts are facts. M**f Field are 2nd in Group C and the two hardest games they’ve been involved in
were against us. 1-1. Decider 17/9/22
