Coach Laurence

04/06/2024

CLEARING OUT THE WEEDS

After a long and patient wait, we finally secured a plot at our local allotment. One of the conditions is that we clear the ground and have it planted out within a few months. Indeed we were told that overgrown allotments are not popular with neighbours, as w**ds spread into adjacent plots.

The task seems more daunting than it is: a few sessions should see most of it cleared, and with some quick planting, we will have some lovely homegrown produce by early Autumn.

This got me thinking about the psychological w**ds that can invade our minds and, if left unattended, not only grow but take over. And to take the analogy further, the longer you leave it, the w**ds grow and take hold with even deeper roots. Indeed we cannot just get a strimmer to these w**ds; we have to dig out the roots. Otherwise, they’ll grow back even stronger. And even one tiny piece of mare’s tail (a most insidious w**d), if left, will soon take hold and come back.

For me cultivating a healthy mind is everything. Without a healthy internal environment, everything in life becomes more difficult, and we miss out on the opportunity to truly live.

By clearing out the w**ds, we also have a chance to see the quality of the soil we are working with. Yes, it will likely need some fertiliser and nourishment, but in essence, we will have created a blank slate.

So, what to grow?

In simple terms, if you plant a carrot seed, you can only grow a carrot. It cannot grow into something else.

And so, with the mind, you reap what you sow.

Planting healthy seeds in our mind creates the possibility of growing something healthy. And, of course, if we plant the seeds of negativity, fear or limitation, these too will grow and, at worst, crowd out what is healthy and whole. And therein lies an opportunity: the w**ds in our minds are also there to draw our attention to something that needs to be changed or something to be subtracted that is not serving us.

Do you want more joy in your life? Plant the seed of joy. Do you want less fear and insecurity? W**d out the roots of your fear and insecurity. This isn’t about positive thinking for the sake of it. This is about how you create yourself at the level of your Being. Because from all our Being comes our doing. Our Being and the seeds we plant not only create our inner worlds but shape our outer reality. But as with cultivating a garden, every day, our mind needs tending with love and care.

Yes, it can take work to clear out the w**ds, but the benefits are huge and create the possibility of growing what you really want in your life.

What w**ds could you benefit from clearing out?
What could you grow from a clear and fertile soil?

06/09/2023

Recently I’ve been seeing just how much impact just a few coaching sessions can have on people. I usually work with clients for anywhere between 3 – 12 months, as I support them to take control of their lives, to develop their leadership or to grow their business.

But just one or two conversations can change our world and achieve clarity of thought or tangible outcomes, whether that be:

• Developing a career strategy and sense of direction.

• Showcasing their talents in a winning job interview.

• Overcoming stage fright before being their best in a public speaking engagement or sporting performance

• Resolving a knotty relationship issue.

• Moving from procrastination to action in all sorts of areas of life.

I often give away an hour or two to people in my network who just need that little bit of support to make the progress they desire; it’s all part of the fun of being a coach and being living service.

Coaching changes lives, and alongside my peers, I’m on a mission to make coaching more accessible.

With this in mind, through September I am offering a pocket-sized Laser Package of 3 sessions for what I am calling a No Brainer Fee. That is, the fee is defined by the coachee. And whatever fee is decided I know only one thing:

• I’ll play all out.

• I’ll bring all my tools, techniques, resources and know-how to bear in service of the client’s goal.

• I’ll honour and respect the boundaries of the agreement – bringing a laser focus to the client’s outcome and once we are complete, we are complete.

PM me if you've got something you'd like a breakthrough and you see value in enrolling in my Laser Package offer, and we’ll get started pronto.

16/08/2023

I would like to give a massive acknowledgement to Wolfgang Steiner for his powerful presence and in so artfully facilitating in what is known as Room 509 in Wales this past weekend.

For me, being in Room 509 was soulful, moving, restful yet invigorating, inspiring and awakened something rather beautiful inside of me.

In Wolfgang’s words, we create a deep connection with other human beings when we share a conscious breath. And that connection I can see will last a lifetime.

It was serendipity that I came to be in the room when the magnificent Angi Scott mentioned it in passing when we were on a catch-up call the week before.

And my acknowledgement extends to all who were in Room 509.

Angi Scott and her team for hosting us so lovingly and attentively.
Dave Orton for his soulful sharing and authenticity and the generous gift he gave me.
Emma Edwards for being so vibrant and alive and for what she shared with me after the weekend.
Kirsten Heynisch with whom I deepened our soul brother/sister connection on our coaching journey.
Renate Stein for sharing her amazing life story with me and with whom I had the privilege of sharing some of the deepest work we did over the weekend. And the gift of the heart shaped stone.
Cristina Purcell for the lift homewards and for sharing a wonderful three hours of exploration and conversation.

And what happens next?

I am excited to be part of what unfolds in Room on the road to TUE Birmingham.

And my invitation: anyone who can be in Room 509 next weekend, even if you have to move a mountain, please do so. You won't regret it. Sign up here: https://www.victorhut.com/UPCOMING-EVENTS/

And an offer that I commit to is hosting Wolfgang, Renate and Room 509 at my home in Manchester sometime in 2024 in the build-up to Birmingham.

Whoever is lucky enough and committed enough to being in a Room 509 in the next 8 months, we will forever be connected.

And for other friends wondering what the hell Room 509 actually is, I’ll explain some time…

Many blessings!

16/10/2020

This is an amazing listen - it’s not about sport it’s about life.

I don’t often share something recommending everyone should listen / watch but this is one of those occasions. Jonny Wilkinson is famous for the World Cup winning kick in 2003, and a true legend. But he also suffered mental health issues which took him on a journey of deep exploration.

Well this 82 minutes is pure gold dust.

His message, experiences and wisdom is for everyone.

- 3P, therapy and coach friends - you WILL love it.
- friends struggling with their mental health - this is not about sport, this is about the core of what psychological well-being actually is.
- sports fans and players - this is what peak performance is really about.

He’s clearly done some really deep work and from my own work and exploration, as deep as one can go. Looking beyond ideas of self and identity and the limitations we create with our minds. Looking where he has looked - that’s where true psychological freedom lies.

And he avoids the words but what he shares accords with the idea that “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin)

But I love the way he shares so authentically and eloquently.

What he shares is wisdom for life, and dare I say it, the secret to life.

“When you are outside thought, you are fully engaged’ [40 mins in].”

That’s the definition of flow right there.

(Also on Podcast app etc)

In the most thought-provoking conversation we've EVER had on the podcast, Jonny Wilkinson candidly shares his wisdom and lessons that may surprise you, will ...

18/01/2019

THE SHAPE OF YOUR LIFE
SO, I’m 20% of the way into and I’m loving the energy of my commitment to something and the benefits I am yielding. I’ve enjoyed plenty of nights out and also discovered how much people accidentally spittle all over each other after a few bevvies...nice.
And I have clients who have set similar big intentions, not just for January, 90 days, or the year - but from this day on, a lifestyle shift that becomes integrated into their way of life and becomes habitual. So I created a new guided visualisation for my friends, family, clients and peers to help them on their journey. Listen or download it here: 🎁
https://soundcloud.com/user-322831611/the-shape-of-your-life
If you enjoy it and find it helpful please share

This guided visualisation will help you on your journey in getting into the Shape of Your Life. Whether your goals relate to achieving and maintaining a healthy weight, healthy living, fitness or gene

10/09/2017

YOU ARE ALREADY ENOUGH

https://vimeo.com/233175746

In what way are you not already and always 'enough'? In what way are we not complete and whole? If there is a feeling of 'not being enough', this comes from thoughts of not being enough, or a sense of lack or incompleteness. But when we go looking into the world of form, and into our circumstances, we are on a never ending quest. And from place of lack, we will only see what we think we lack. From what I've seen the deeper feeling of being enough never lies downstream, on the outside, in our personal story, our circumstances or our relationships. The answer lies upstream. Look to the source of your experience, go inside. It's a space to experience, not a thing to hold.

In what way are you not already and always 'enough'? In what way are we not complete and whole? If there is a feeling of 'not being enough',…

13/07/2017

The mind has an inbuilt capacity for clarity - in what way is this not true?

https://vimeo.com/223435886

In this short video I use the prop of snowstorm to demonstrate the innate capacity we all have for clarity of mind. This capacity is part of the mind's design…

28/04/2016

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A NEW PARADIGM IN PSYCHOLOGY? ARE YOU INSANE?

Perhaps. But with the state of the world today, the lunatics really have taken over the asylum. With one problem comes one solution. Looking forward to sharing my stuff with Dave Kibby tomorrow evening at Muswell Hill Golf Club 7 - 9pm. Come join the fun.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/gravity-of-the-mind-tickets-24400713190

And thank you to Mahima Shrestha for this bold conversation on Youtube that gets to the heart of the matter. In this conversation we share our insightful experience of how the description of how the human mind works offered by the 3 Principles offers both a new paradigm in psychology AND is nothing new. We explore:
• How truly understanding the logic and wisdom behind how the mind really works can only be realised through insight;
• Why an intellectual understanding of how the mind only works from the Inside-Out in itself is not impactful or transformative. Unless one has a direct experience or recognition of how the human operating really works, the 3 Principles will either look like yet another theory, a good idea or nothing new;
• How the impact of seeing what is really happening under the hood of your mind can transform the way you see the world;
• How the 3 Principles offers three different ways to talk about the living truth behind all human experience;
• How we innocently live in a psychological world where it really does look like the outside world can CAUSE our experience (the illusion of an Outside-In paradigm);
• The capacity we all possess to SEE the habits of our thinking which had previously been invisible to us, as a single step to transformation. And such transformation really can be one thought away;
• How the mind moves towards balance, wellbeing and health as an innate part of the system;
• How the 3 Principles is not a theory that comes with applications and a prescriptive framework by which to live life, but is instead a description that points us in a different direction, towards the source of our experience, and by implication, to the source of wellbeing inside us all;
• How the past does shape us, influencing how we see the world right now, but it does not have to define us, and can, through understanding, be transcended;
• For anyone working in therapy and psychology, an understanding of the 3 Principles is meaningless unless they insightfully see for themselves the logic and power of a deeper understanding of how the mind really works;
• The living truth of the fact we are only ever feeling our thinking moment to moment, but we innocently forget (all the time), and as result, get lost in our thinking, lose our bearings and block off fresh though and insight, and therefore our capacity to move into a new reality and experience of life;
• The anomalies and inconsistencies of a lot of received wisdom and common sense advice on how to manage our psychological life;
• How the 3 Principles point to a logic you can rely on, that is a living truth, 100% of the time and there can be no exceptions. Seeing the logic for oneself is in itself, potentially transformative.

https://youtu.be/jx6sm1eIOKk

Eventbrite brings people together through live experiences. Discover events that match your passions, or create your own with online ticketing tools.

04/04/2016

LEADERSHIP FROM THE INSIDE OUT

I had a great conversation with Mahima Shrestha last week. Mahima speaks eloquently and insightfully about the capacity we all have for Leadership.

And the first question she asks is:

What is it that allows people to be the best version of themselves?

I really saw more deeply that great leadership comes from deeply connecting to the present moment - no matter the circumstances or challenges we are facing. And when we filter our moment to moment experience of life through old thoughts, labels, beliefs and ideas we can innocently limit ourselves. In turn, this limits our capacity to bring out the best in those around us.

A key take away for me is the question I can ask myself in any situation where I may be making assumptions, not listening deeply to those around me or forgetting my capacity for insight and creativity:

What does this situation need?

Leadership is about bringing out the best in yourself and those around you - in the moment - whether it responding to a particular situation that needs an immediate action, or being able to take step back, and to allow a fresh perspective to come in. Which reminds me of another great question that Valda Monro suggests we can ask ourselves in any situation:

Is there another way of seeing this?

When you develop a deeper understanding of how the mind only works one way (from the Inside-Out), you can more effortlessly tap into your innate capacity to lead, be resilient and find solutions to any problem, no matter how intractable they may seem.

https://youtu.be/2G9DjN-1Zis

Mahima speaks eloquently and insightfully about the capacity we all have for Leadership. And the first question she asks is: What is it that allows people to...

29/03/2016

CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION – THE MISSING LINK IN THE DEBATE BETWEEN PYSCHIATRY AND PSYCHOLOGY

I read with vested interest the latest debate in the UK mental health community between the imbalance in Medical Research Council research funding into the social determinants of mental illness and the genetic and biological determinants of mental illness. Whilst I am wary of the statistics being cited to advance an argument, I was not surprised when I read that the UK now has the seventh highest prescribing rate for antidepressants in the Western world, separate figures show, with around four million Britons taking them each year - twice as many as a decade ago. Yet the MRC spends just three per cent of its research budget funding studies into mental illness, most of which goes towards genetics or neuroscience.

I do predict that there will be, in time, a shift towards funding for mental health studies that look at social and economic determinants. Dr. Rob Buckle, Head of Regenerative medicine at MRC recently said: “I think it has been a longstanding debate, the issue of nature versus nurture, and the MRC needs to make sure it funds the research which his going to have the most impact wherever it comes from The issue here is that mental health is a very complex issue and the fundamental thing is to get a better understanding of the causes and progression of mental illness.”

However, there is a missing piece of the jigsaw. There has been a growing interesting in the last 20 years in studying wellbeing and mental health, rather than studying mental illness. It is logical that a supportive and loving childhood gives people the foundation for happy and healthy life. The research does not lie when it finds that trauma and difficult life circumstances can lead to mental ill health. It makes sense that income is a solid predictor of wellbeing. And when studies do look at the behaviours and thinking patterns of people who are happy and healthy, the results are not surprising – such people do experience a sense of security, strong social bonds, loving relationships, a sense of autonomy or meaning and purpose in their life. And there are a number of therapeutic approaches such as Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Human Givens that do demonstrate great results by helping people let go of the past and tap into their innate resources and capacity for change.

But from what I have seen this is not the whole picture.

When I say correlation is not causation I am pointing to the fact that unless research into the human condition can point to something being 100% true, it makes me really curious. What are we missing? For example, pioneering psychiatrist Dr. Bill Pettit, has highlighted that 70% of Americans experience life events that could result in a diagnosis of PTSD, but only 7% of people experience long term suffering following such an event or set of circumstances. Why is that? A significant proportion of people overcome a period of depression without the aid of antidepressants or talking therapy - what is going on there?

I would love it if we can take a deeper look into where wellbeing, happiness and peace of mind really come from. But not by studying behaviours.

I would love to see research into:

1 How someone can experience a moment of clarity, an epiphany or realization that is transformative for their mental health and wellbeing. (See Dr George Pransky talking about the ‘defining moment’ that Sydney Banks experienced https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU8-uDtS1pw). In what way is this capacity not within all of us?

2 Why developing an understanding of how the mind works (from the Inside Out) appears to help people overcome longstanding conditions such as depression, anxiety, or diagnosed PTSD that years of therapy did not help and in some cases may have worsened (Mary Schiller’s story is inspirational - http://primalhappiness.co/podcast/episode81/)

3 How an insight into the nature of thought can free someone from years of psychological suffering, without the need to talk about the past.

4 Through what mechanism does clarity of mind, and fresh thought emerge into our consciousness without any conscious effort? What does that tell us?

5 How is it possible to experience complete peace of mind, no matter how challenging the circumstances are? I’ll shortly be interviewing a friend who had such an experience in the midst of the earthquakes in Nepal.

But I am not going to wait. I am about to start running a few group coaching programmes for long term unemployed people for which I will be creating baseline measures to demonstrate that a deeper understanding of how the mind works and helping people tap into their innate resources and capacity for fresh thought can be transformative - both on the Inside (mental wellbeing, greater psychological freedom) and on the Outside (getting a job, enjoying life and better relationship).

So, in short, I believe what we do need is more research, but not into the external determinants of wellbeing but the internal power and capacity of mind we have for mental wellbeing. And of course, more action (teaching how the mind works) that lets people realise for themselves that mental health can be one thought away.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/12205847/Mental-illness-mostly-caused-by-life-events-not-genetics-argue-psychologists.html

A talk by Dr. George Pransky at the last Three Principles School, held in June on Salt Spring Island

26/03/2016

WHY CHANGING JOBS MAY NOT BE THE CURE FOR STRESS

In this conversation with fellow coach Sandie Martel we explore:

- The true source of stress and dissatisfaction
- Why addressing a sense of lack / sense of something missing through changing your circumstances (job, career, relationships, new hobbies etc) may not give you the happiness, freedom and fulfilment that you want
- Why 'lack of time' is less important than your relationship to your experience of life, moment to moment and day to day
- How a clearer mind will help you make the decisions and choices that are right for you
- Why it is possible to thrive not matter your circumstances

Underlying our approach as transformational coaches is this simple question:

Where do you thinking your feelings are coming from?

The answer is not the content of your thinking or what is preoccupying you. The source is always the Inside, within the logic of how your mind really works.

https://youtu.be/DBeSCwAORiM

In this conversation with fellow coach Sandie Martel we explore: - The true source of stress and dissatisfaction - Why addressing a sense of lack / sense of ...

17/03/2016

https://www.facebook.com/laurence.knott.1/posts/10156765191190691

Would you like to experience amazing clarity, peace and freedom, even in the midst of challenging circumstances? In this ground-breaking new book, bestselling author Michael Neill shares an extraordinary new understanding of how life works that turns traditional psychology on its head. This revol...