20/08/2026
When ‘No’ Doesn’t Mean ‘No’: My Family Holiday Paddleboarding Trip Ends in Police Call
My family holiday paddleboarding trip in the Lake District ended with a police call today after a disagreement over a life jacket left me upset and questioning whether the word “no” is being taken seriously enough.
We had previously been paddleboarding on Tuesday and, having thoroughly enjoyed it, decided to return today.
After putting on our wetsuits, I was given a life jacket by a member of staff. However, I found it uncomfortably tight because of my sensory needs and asked whether I could change it.
I was initially told that the jacket fitted correctly. I explained that if it was the only option, I would not take part in the paddleboarding session, as the jacket felt particularly tight across my chest. I also explained that I had worn a larger jacket during the previous session and had found it much more comfortable.
I was then given another life jacket.
As I was putting it on, another member of staff approached me and asked whether he could help with the straps.
I said, “No thank you, I’ll sort it out myself. I just need a minute.”
I stepped backwards, raising my arms so that I could adjust the straps myself. According to my account, the member of staff then approached from behind and tightened the strap on my right arm, despite me having already said no.
The jacket became so tight that I felt it was cutting into my chest. I removed the straps and took some time to calm myself.
I then spoke to another member of staff and explained what had happened. I specifically raised my concern that I had clearly said “no” but the assistance had continued anyway.
The member of staff I spoke to was understanding and told me that he would ask the manager to speak to the person involved.
The manager subsequently spoke with me and said that she would address the incident.
By this point, however, I was too upset to take part in the activity. I had been crying and felt overwhelmed, so I decided to stay behind while the rest of my family continued with the paddleboarding session.
At the end of the session, the manager returned and told me that she had spoken to the member of staff involved.
It was at this point that I became particularly upset.
I was told that, although the member of staff said he had not heard me say “no”, the fact that I had raised my arms indicated consent for him to help with the straps.
I strongly disagreed.
For me, raising my arms did not mean that I had agreed to somebody adjusting my equipment. I had verbally said no and had specifically explained that I wanted to adjust the straps myself.
If somebody does not hear a person say no, I believe the appropriate response is to check before continuing — particularly when approaching someone from behind.
What made the situation even more upsetting was that I wasn’t asking for anything complicated. I only wanted an apology and for someone to acknowledge that, in future, the answer I gave should be listened to.
I would have been happy to accept an apology and say, “In future, please listen to the answer when somebody says no.”
Instead, it was when I was told that my arms moving meant that I had effectively said yes that I became extremely angry and upset.
The incident left me extremely upset, and I contacted the police because I felt that what had happened should be taken seriously.
The police subsequently spoke to the member of staff involved. I was told that this was part of the nature of their job and that dealing with situations and concerns of this nature was something they deal with.
I felt it was important to report what had happened rather than simply walk away from the situation.
I am not suggesting that every misunderstanding of body language is intentional. Nor am I suggesting that the member of staff necessarily intended to cause distress.
But this experience has highlighted something that I believe deserves a wider conversation about consent, personal boundaries and listening when somebody clearly says they do not want physical assistance.
For me, the issue was never simply about a life jacket or a set of straps.
It was about saying “no”, expecting that answer to be respected, and then being told afterwards that somebody else’s interpretation of my body language mattered more than the words I had actually used.
Children are routinely taught that if somebody says no, you stop. That message is supposed to be straightforward: a person saying no should be listened to, rather than their body language being interpreted as permission to continue.
And please bear in mind that at the time this happened, I was nowhere near the water. I was still getting my equipment ready and had not even started the paddleboarding session.
That is why I believe the question is worth asking:
When someone says no, shouldn’t no simply be enough?
