29/08/2026
So a bit of an update on where I am now, so 99% of people know that recently I’d had what I would now describe as a mental health issue.
I’ve always been a miserable grumpy bloke as most middle age people are. More recently through my own fault my marriage ended and I stated to live in my van and work in the gym.
The gym took a downturn at lost members and my head went. That’s the most honest I can be, I went from thinking I could cope to bursting in to tears when I thought about the gym.
After a while I started to think that I didn’t want to be here anymore, I just wanted to turn a switch and tomorrow would start. I just would t be here. Then when I really started to think badly I went to see the doctor, I’d gone to the stage of planning what I’d do and who I’d text and who’d find me. I didn’t want to do it but in the same note I didn’t want to be here.
What scared me the most was how fast it happened, in a few short days I’d gone from being miserable to feeling I couldn’t cope.
I have bad nightmares for some reason, demonic hands come up through the bed and pull me down. I’ve always had these and speaking to a councillor he explained why and why it could be something from years ago that’s now manifesting into what I fear every time I get stressed.
I’m not going to start being an advocate for mental health now or anything because there’s people in far worse positions than me.
I just want to say that I was that bloke that thought “I can deal with this, it’s just stress” or “I’m a man, we don’t talk about our feelings”. More people than I thought possible have messaged and called to check in and for that I’m eternally grateful. Being alone in the gym and in the van took its toll.
I’m now in a better place, I’m training hard. I’ve got a great supportive gym team who push each other daily.
It took me a phone call to the doctor, one where I thought I’d be judged. Once inside I apologised and burst into tears as I said what was going on.
6 weeks down the line and feeling more focused than ever on me and our team. I’ve got to see a psychiatrist at some point but a lot of people have said that for a while………🤦♂️😂
Thank you 🙏
Dan
