01/09/2026
Their feelings can bring up feelings in us too.
Especially at this time of year. They come home and someoneās left them out, they hate their new teacher, lunch was awful, they donāt want to go back tomorrow⦠and suddenly weāre feeling it right alongside them.
We might feel anxious, angry on their behalf or worried that this is the beginning of something bigger. We might want to reassure them, ask ALL the questions, fix it or make the feeling disappear as quickly as possible.
Because we care. Itās so hard to watch your child struggle.
If we can notice some of whatās happening in us, it can give us a little more choice about what we do next. Do they need me to help? Do they want me to listen? Is this something that needs action or do we need to give it a bit of time?
Awareness restores choice. For them and for us.
And a big caveat because I think it matters: weāre not always going to manage this. Weāre human too. Sometimes their stuff will trigger our stuff. Sometimes weāll react rather than respond. Weāll ask too many questions, jump into fixing mode, get frustrated or say something we wish weād phrased differently.
Please donāt make being perfectly regulated another parenting standard to beat yourself up with.
Our kids need us because we love them, know them and are there to help them make sense of things when they need us. And when we donāt get it quite rightā¦we can notice that too. We can go back, reconnect and try again.
Perhaps thatās part of what weāre showing them too. We donāt have to handle every feeling perfectly. We can notice what happened and choose what we do next.
And if your young person could benefit from a little more space to work through whatās coming up for them, I offer 1:1 coaching for teens aged 12ā18. Youāre always welcome to drop me a message and have a chat.