13/10/2026
Trigger warning ⚠️ Baby loss ⚠️
I’ve always tried to be open about my story as I feel, still now, that baby loss is not talked about enough. This week is baby loss awareness week so for those of you that have been through it, are going through it or will go through it, please know that you can talk about it and every emotion and feeling you have and will go through is completely valid and will be validated.
My loss was early in pregnancy but still required me to go and sit with all the expectant mums to have my 12 week scan even though I knew that I was going through a miscarriage.
What hurt most was that no one was aware of it even though I had called the heath to say I was bleeding, so I got the bubbly midwife saying “let’s see where we’re at with baby then……” to which I burst into tears and said I was pretty sure there was no baby.
After having it confirmed I was ushered into a small room where, after waiting over an hour for a consultant, i was told that all consultants were busy so I needed to come back the next day to discuss how best to get rid of what was left 🤯😳
The next day I was put in a room with 5 other women who were also going through a miscarriage and waiting to see how best to be treated. The elephant in the room was horrendous and we all could have done with support but alas, covid prevented that!
My emotions were all over the place
• I was angry at mums who didn’t want children who had managed to be pregnant
• I felt guilty - I already had Frankie. Some women couldn’t even have a baby, how dare I be sad when I had one already
• I was ashamed with my body. I couldn’t fit my pre pregnancy clothes but there was no baby. Just my body kicking me whilst I was down giving me a constant reminder that I had been pregnant
• I was sad. Just sad of what my baby could have been
Now? I am grateful. Grateful to have gone through it and be able to talk about it. Grateful I now have Cami! How on earth could I ever imagine life without her! Grateful that my body for the rest of my life will hold the fetal cells of that baby! If you didn’t know that. Look it up. Fetal microchimerism 🥹🥹
