08/03/2024
We Come Together
It’s Valentine’s Day but I’m not spending it with my partner. I’m going to football training. Today will be an unusual session to say the least, and that’s because we have a film crew from Amazon (yes ‘the’ Amazon) coming to film us! Pretty wild for a drab Wednesday evening in February.
Amazon are creating some content especially for International Women’s Day. We are a women’s team. And we are all over 30; in fact, our oldest member is 62. We play women’s over 30’s recreational football in a Flexi League and in small tournaments, and our training sessions run twice a week. The team caters for all abilities, and everyone is welcome.
That Valentine’s Day session was slightly strange, but it did feel special to be a part of something that celebrates women. Women coming together to do something we love. And although it's great to have a day in the calendar to talk about all the brilliant things that women bring to humanity, it’s actually what we do every time we get together.
Every training session, every match, every night out is a celebration of us!
International Women's Day (8th March) is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity, when groups worldwide come together to celebrate women's achievements or rally for women's equality. The theme this year is and we’ll be doing just that with both of our teams playing in matches on Friday. How apt.
So much of this narrative aligns to the ethos of our team and some of the barriers we face for simply wanting to play the most popular sport in the world.
On that evening with Amazon, I looked around and thought to myself, “Who are these women?” It’s a diverse group: different ages, races, footballing abilities. I wondered what other skills we have between us; a vast array, I imagined.
What are they all doing here? What drives them to come every week rain or shine? I wondered if I scratched the surface what I might find.
International Women’s Day seemed the perfect guise under which to find out more about this group of women, my teammates.
I asked them if they wanted to contribute and if they could tell me a little about themselves and why they come to play football.
What I found was incredible. These women are phenomenal. Their stories stirred all kinds of different emotions in me, to the point where I suddenly felt a huge weight of responsibility to represent them all in the right way. I’m going to do my best, using their words as well as my own, to tell you why We Come Together.
We come together…
…because we value a strong sense of family.
We have 40 registered players from different backgrounds yet it feels close knit, with a sense of community the moment you join. I felt it immediately.
Playing a team sport means you have trust and rely on your teammates; we work on this each week, and it helps to bring us closer together as people. Some of these ladies have built up strong friendships that transcend far beyond the football pitch.
“After seven years not playing, I felt a huge void. The friendships I’ve made mean the world to me; I’d be lost without this team!”
“I always leave the training pitch feeling energised and like a new, happy person – I love our little football family!”
“The team has been a great support system for me, and I have met ladies I now consider not only my best friends, but family.”
Our female coach is UEFA C qualified. Our training sessions are pre-planned, well-structured and consider the differing abilities across the squad. She’s very patient; I’m not sure we’re always the best students, a bit chatty on arrival, perhaps, and then there are the naughty ones at the back. You know who you are.
Always encouraging us, shouting things like “ONE TWO, ONE TWO” and “INTENSITY” to a chorus of “Yes Boss.” We love the drills. She did once mention something about herding kittens, but I’m pretty sure we nailed it.
…because we are the sum of all our individual parts and that’s a wonderful thing.
We have an unbelievable set of skills across the team. Nurses, paramedics, police, an osteopath, project manager, business owners, building surveyor. Civil servant, artist, graphic designer, teacher, senior lecturer, writers and a midwife, to name a few.
One player has four different job roles and speaks five languages. Others give up their spare time to run community youth clubs.
We have not one but two stand-up comedians (oh, and several wannabes, I can tell you), the ‘bants’ is strong with this group.
Knowing this makes it easy to see how this varied mix of skills could be transferred to a football pitch with great success. Determination, communication, leadership – we must trust in and listen to each other. Encouragement and compassion are also key, as many of us are learning from scratch. Those players need advice from our more experienced members but also need to know it's OK to make a mistake.
“The relationships formed over sweaty, all-weather games of women’s football – in itself a groundbreaking sport – are irreplaceable. Shouting, sliding, cheering are lifegiving activities.”
“I love chatting with all the ladies… We have a shared love of team sports, there's lively personalities that always make it fun and I'm just so happy to have found something outside of the usual yoga.”
If something needs to be done it gets done. People bring their skills, their time, and their kindness to the table repeatedly. At our core there is a small group of women that drive everything forward, their commitment to the team and their motivation to overcome any barrier put in front of us is so inspiring.
I do absolutely believe we could run the country from within our WhatsApp group.
Having said that, not a week goes by when we actually know who's got the balls. And don't even get me started on where the bibs are.
…because we all need support.
The benefits of physical exercise extend far beyond just physical health. While it’s true that regular exercise can improve cardiovascular fitness, strength, and flexibility, it also has a profound impact on our mental wellbeing. It’s not just about the physical gains; it’s about nurturing our minds and souls as well. This is something we all value and gain from our time together. You never know what is going on beneath the surface in other people's lives. Our weekly training sessions are a chance to switch off, let go of the daily stresses, and be out in the fresh air, but for some they provide much more than that.
Some of the team have jobs that are incredibly emotionally challenging, they use this time as a release from carrying the weight of other people's emotions.
“My job is a beautiful one, but it can be very emotionally challenging at times. Football is and always has been my release, my therapy.”
“Football is a great way to unwind and take my mind off work, which is an extremely hard and emotionally exhausting job.”
Some found their way here to combat loneliness.
Some are healing, building mental strength and rebuilding self-confidence after the trauma of growing up with domestic violence and others are escaping abusive relationships.
Some are finding purpose again after the devastating loss of those close to them.
“I wanted to do something for me and joining this team has greatly helped my mental health, really pulled me out of a very dark and desperate hole.”
And you know what, sometimes adulting is just plain hard, and we need to go run it off!
We have created a strong support network that means there is always someone there for you. Although you may want to mute the WhatsApp group every now and then for a bit of peace and quiet!
…because we feel inspired and empowered.
The transformational growth we are seeing across the women’s game has been spearheaded by our trailblazing Lionesses. FA data shows a 39% increase in the total number of girls’ teams since October 2021. Women’s Super League (WSL) attendances are up 200% since the 2022 Women’s Euros. The 2023 Women’s World Cup Final BBC viewing figures peaked at 12 million, more than the Men’s Wimbledon Final that year.
We are seeing this growth ourselves, at local level, with more recreational teams wanting to play friendlies and tournaments becoming oversubscribed.
Inspiring a legacy of sustainable and accessible pathways for young girls is unfolding in front of us, which is wonderful and exciting. But inspiration works upwards generationally too.
“I chose to come and learn how to play football because I watched the Lionesses win the Euros and it inspired me to take it up.”
We oldies have felt inspired too, to put our hands ups and say we want to play. Some have never played before while some are coming back to what they had to give up. This takes courage, as despite huge strides there is still much stigma around women playing football, which is exacerbated the older you get. When I found there was a local team for older women, that was for all levels, with no pressure to play in competitive matches I couldn’t believe it. Jackpot – something I’d been looking for, for years.
“Returning to football was making a choice only for myself, carving out something just for me, and I realised that I had stopped doing that until then.”
Attending my first session, I was terrified, but quickly realised this was actually going to be an inclusive experience. The no-pressure environment really helps with building self-confidence. I do believe everyone feels they can just be themselves when we come together, which is liberating and empowering.
“I love the support of being part of a team and how there is a place for everyone. Plus being part of this group of women has improved my self-confidence.”
“Growing up in the 80s we weren’t allowed to play football at school, so I kicked a ball for the first time aged 46! It’s very empowering being part of a team.”
…because we want to celebrate our successes.
This team has much to celebrate on and off the pitch. I would say this is an absolutely an area we excel in, and the local pubs would concur. Reasoning can be a little tenuous, a well-executed midweek training session could well end in the local for the hardcore, and I applaud them, but ‘Tequila Wednesday’ is understandably not for everyone.
Not only do we have a set of super-intelligent women with diverse skills, we also have some ballers. We have women that have defied the odds and played for most of their lives in school and university teams. One member has played in the Women’s FA Cup 3rd round proper for Team Bath. Many won footballing accolades in their youth to be proud of, in an environment where it was almost impossible to be seen as successful.
“I grew up being the only girl on the boys’ footy team. With my primary school teacher having to beg other schools to ‘allow’ a girl to play against their team of boys.”
Most of us growing up in the 70s and 80s surrounded by the narrative of ‘girls being allowed to play a boys game’ is why we always take time to celebrate, even the smallest things, because we know how far we have come.
“I am touched how the team accepted me. I feel I have now achieved my dream to return back to football in an encouraging and supportive environment.”
“I have wanted to play in a football team since Liverpool won the double in 1986. I'm now 47 so it's been a long wait!! The whole journey with the team has been awesome. A proper life highlight.”
It is by no means a coincidence that at the time of writing this our Blue Team sits unbeaten at the top of the Women’s Flex Ultra League. We’re all excited for the climax of the season to see what we can achieve.
“As a team we have all worked really hard together, improved with our training skills, resulting in winning goals for matches and tournaments. Top of the league now, ladies!”
…because we are done being denied.
Gender stereotypes are harmful, they perpetuate inequalities and limit a person's capacity to develop personal abilities. Some women have found these barriers too difficult to overcome, particularly in their youth.
“I stopped playing when I reached secondary school due to the stigma and labels like ‘geezerbird’, which just made it feel too difficult.”
Listening to the stories of the Lionesses we know they had supporters around them, parents, teachers, coaches that encouraged them, saw their talent, their worth and the opportunity in front of them. Thank goodness for those supporters who kept these girls going. They kept going despite the lack of visible role models, they couldn’t see women’s games getting any coverage, they couldn’t see women in the media talking about football, they couldn’t see women getting rewarded for their talent, either financially or reputationally.
“Whilst it's fantastic that many of the ladies I now play with are now discovering the game, I can't help but get a bit mad that many girls didn't have the opportunity to play when I was growing up and that you had to fight to play, had to stand out from the crowd and be brave.”
“My dad would finish work early to take me to trials and training, he would also have to defend ‘women’s football’ continuously to his workmates.”
The difference now because of these trailblazers (and the women who went before them) is that our young girls now see them, everywhere! What a glorious time this is.
One of the great parts of getting older is that you gain the ability to care so much less about other people’s opinions. We are done with the toxic narrative around women and sport and the best way for us to counteract it is to get out there and play. Being visible is an important part of turning this tide and our young people need to see us. See us working hard, see us competing, see us celebrating, see us picking each other up. Normalising this is well overdue.
We still come up against barriers, but between us we have the right skills, life experience and motivation to challenge them.
I would love for our story to be spread far and wide to inspire more women to come together, for them to know it’s OK, and that it’s not too late. It just needs one or two to be brave, to raise their hands, to . Based on what I’ve seen, it’s highly probable you’ll find likeminded women with the same dream as you.
