Elif Köse Transformational Confidence Coach

Elif Köse Transformational Confidence Coach Where love, compassion & courage meet. Empowering women to choose themselves & create a life rooted in self-love. Founder and CEO of Confidence Magazine

For years I wore "doing it all" like a badge of honor.The midnight DMs. The bookings I confirmed by hand. The follow ups...
10/09/2026

For years I wore "doing it all" like a badge of honor.
The midnight DMs. The bookings I confirmed by hand. The follow ups I never quite got round to.

I called it dedication. It was really a woman terrified that if she stopped holding everything together, it would all fall apart.
Until my body made the decision my mind refused to make.

Here's what I learned. True leadership isn't about how much you can hold. It's about what you build so you don't have to hold it all yourself.

That's what GoHighLevel became for me. Bookings, follow ups, reminders, newsletters and payments, all handled quietly in the background while I show up for what actually needs me.

I've negotiated a full 30 day free trial for you, more than double the usual 14.

Comment "SIMPLIFY" and I'll send you the link.
You don't have to hold it all. You just have to build something that holds it for you.

I'm heading to Belfast on the 6th and 7th of October, and I'd love for you to join me.I'll be speaking at MIB Belfast in...
07/09/2026

I'm heading to Belfast on the 6th and 7th of October, and I'd love for you to join me.

I'll be speaking at MIB Belfast in Assembly Hall, sharing the work I do and the stories behind it.

Two days built for connection, real conversation, and learning from people who are building something of their own. There'll be lunch too, so come hungry as well as curious.

If you're in Belfast those days, come find me. It would mean a lot to see you there.

Link is in the stories💓

use my discount code CONFIDENCE for 25% discount

Should the coaching industry be regulated? I keep going back and forth, and I want to hear where you land.Here's what pu...
07/09/2026

Should the coaching industry be regulated? I keep going back and forth, and I want to hear where you land.

Here's what pulls me toward yes.

I've watched women hand over money they didn't have to someone promising them a new life in ninety days. "Become a millionaire overnight." "Manifest your dream life by Friday." No qualifications behind these claims.

No accountability when they fail. And when they do fail, which is often, the woman doesn't just lose money. She loses trust in herself. She starts asking what's wrong with her, when the real question is why nobody stopped this claim from being made in the first place. Her confidence is GONE!

That's the case for regulation. Protect the people who are hopeful and vulnerable from those who profit off that hope.

But here's what pulls me the other way.
This industry grew because it was open.

Some of the most powerful voices in personal development today started with no certificate, no institution behind them, just lived experience and the courage to share it.

Regulation tends to favor whoever can afford the licensing, the paperwork, the gatekeepers. It could end up protecting the big names and pricing out the very people doing honest, transformational work with no financial safety net behind them.

And "coaching" is such a wide word. Who decides what qualifies? Who writes the rules for something this personal and this varied?
I built a fashion house for over fifteen years before I stepped into this world. I know slow, honest growth. I also know that not everyone gets the luxury of slow when they need income now.

So I genuinely don't have an answer here.

Is the harm from fake claims bigger than the harm from shutting good, unlicensed voices out?

Tell me where you stand and why.

The audience in your head isn't yoursI want to tell you something I only understood in my forties.That voice that checks...
06/09/2026

The audience in your head isn't yours

I want to tell you something I only understood in my forties.

That voice that checks the room before you speak. That flinch when you imagine being watched. That little calculation you run before you say no, before you wear the thing, before you take up space. None of that started with you.

It started with a sentence someone said when you were a little human being. Maybe it was "people are looking at us." Maybe it was "you should be ashamed." It wasn't said to hurt you. It was said to keep you safe, or presentable, or easy to manage. But a child doesn't hear nuance. A child just learns the rule: my feelings are only safe once someone else approves of them.

So we grew into women who ask "how does this look" before we ask "what do I actually feel." We grew into women who apologise for taking up a chair. We call it being agreeable. It's actually an old survival skill, still running, decades past its expiry date.

Here's what don/t t do with my clients and I wont do with you today either. I won't sit here and turn this into a session where we blame the people who raised us. That's an easy exit, and it keeps us facing the wrong direction. The truth that actually moves us forward is less comfortable: this pattern is now ours to look at. Not to feel guilty about. To simply notice.

Because there's a difference between a parent shaping behaviour and a parent shaping a child's right to feel. "You can be angry, you just can't hit" teaches a boundary. "Don't embarrass me" teaches a child to distrust their own reactions. Most of us got a mix of both, and the second one is the one still whispering in our thirties, forties, fifties and even older...

If you want to change something, change something. Not the whole story. Just the next moment where the old rule shows up.

The next time you catch yourself editing your feelings for someone else's comfort, pause. That's the pattern, live, in real time. And that pause is the only place real change ever happens.

You are allowed to feel something without needing a witness to approve it first. Because you'll stop betraying yourself the moment you realise you dont have to earn your worth!

02/09/2026

I still remember when it was just me.

No one, in a room, waiting. Two people had booked and they didnt turn up! You know that feeling!? It gets better keep reading...

Then it was 5 women in a local coffee shop.

Then 15 of us in a Turkish restaurant.

Then 50 tickets was sold, following year doubled it and we counted more 200 women who had shown up for something I built from nothing.

And now I sit across the table from industry leaders, real experts, people I used to only follow, and they call me a peer.

But here is what nobody tells you about that climb.
Confidence is not having it all together while everyone claps. It is not the sold out room and the applause of friends and family, though in the beginning, most of them do love and support you. They cheer loudest at the start.
Then you stay consistent.

You keep showing up when it is hard, when it is unglamorous, when nobody is watching. And something shifts. The same people who cheered start to pull away. Your success starts to look like bragging to them. They mute you. They unfollow you. They leave you off the invite, in their own way, so you feel smaller.

And here is the part that stings the most, it did me anyway. Some of them get close to the very people you introduced them to. You hear about it later, almost by accident.

I want you to know something if this has ever happened to you.

That is not rejection. That is a mirror. They are witnessing what real integrity, honesty and determination look like, and they know deep down they have not built that in themselves. So they w**d themselves out. Not because you did anything wrong, but because your growth asked something of them they were not ready to give.
Do not look back for them. There is nothing behind you worth chasing.

The only way is forward. Keep building the life you actually want to live in, not the one that keeps everyone comfortable around you. When you are old and you look back on your one life, none of this will matter except whether you lived it as yourself, fully, without shrinking.

So be confident. Move on. Trust the process, trust your own hands, trust the woman you are becoming.

She remembers who she is. That is enough.

Success without visibility is still a form of hiding, and the fastest way to be forgotten is to try to be everything to ...
31/08/2026

Success without visibility is still a form of hiding, and the fastest way to be forgotten is to try to be everything to everyone.

Here are my key questions I ask to anyone who I work with that will help you get crystal clear and be able to answer each question in one line only ;

Who do you help?

What are you known for?

What happens if they reach out?

All of it needs to support one flag.

You don't need ten different service tags to prove it.
It needs one line,
repeated everywhere,
until it's the thing people associate with your name before they even know what you offer.

To make it clear for your audience, I'd suggest you bring everything you do to answer these three questions, every time!

You are welcome!

Clarity is your power and once you simplify it, it makes is so much easier!

And this is for any business. Whether you sell candles, clothes, dance classes or marketing strategy!

31/08/2026

My sisters, this one comes from the heart.

For centuries, men were taught to build their lives around themselves first. Their health, their ambitions, their joy. We were taught the opposite. To shrink. To center him and call it love, when really it was self-abandonment in disguise.

It is time we remembered something true.

You are allowed to be the main character of your own life.

31/08/2026

As I just confirmed all our powerful keynote speakers for the upcoming International Women’s Day Lunch on 5th March 2027, I can’t help but reflect on the incredible journey that led me to organise these empowering events since 2010!

Many years ago, as an immigrant I found myself longing for a space where I would feel held,
where women could come together,
not in competition, but in collaboration.
A space where support wasn’t just a concept,
but a tangible force that lifted each woman higher.

Why? Because I believe in the power of unity.
I believe that when we stand hand in hand,
supporting and uplifting one another,
there’s nothing we can’t achieve.

These events are my way of creating a haven for every woman who seeks inspiration, connection, and the strength to navigate life’s challenges.

It’s about fostering a community where success isn’t measured by power over others but by the collective growth we achieve together.

In a world that sometimes tells us to compete,
I choose collaboration.
I choose to hold hands,
share stories,
and build each other up.

Because true empowerment isn’t about standing alone at the top; it’s about creating an even playing field where every woman has the opportunity to thrive.

So, as we plan my next empowering celebration, let’s remember the strength we find in supporting one another.

Save our very few super early birds tickets left for 5th March 2027.

A day to celebrate the resilience, success, and sisterhood that binds us together.

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