18/05/2026
Blaenau Mediums vs Young Boys FC — Match Report
Under the bright lights and questionable refereeing of tonight’s blockbuster clash, Blaenau Mediums somehow managed to crawl, fight, and stumble their way to victory over Young Boys FC after a dramatic penalty shootout.
The Mediums lined up with Guto, Dennis, Ioan, Gwps, Choccy, Dyl Dans, Humph, Osian, Gethin, Math Churm and Jordan — although witnesses are still unsure whether Jordan actually arrived mentally. Reports suggest he spent most of the game “marking space” and occasionally jogging near the ball to look involved.
Young Boys FC came in full of confidence with Deio, Sion Roberts, Cian Pritch, Huw Evans, Moses, Jac Davies, Picks, Cian, Kaylum, Mabon, Deio Hughes and Beds… though several of them may wish they’d stayed home after tonight’s disasterclass.
The game itself was chaos from start to finish. Chances flew everywhere, mostly over the bar thanks to the combined finishing ability of Cian Pritch, Deio Williams and Sion Roberts, who together produced one of the worst shooting displays seen since someone first kicked a football. At one point, Deio Williams hit a shot so far off target there are now concerns it may interfere with satellite traffic. NASA are reportedly tracking it as we speak.
There are also growing questions over how Cian Pritchard apparently gets paid to play football. Scouts in attendance were allegedly seen asking for refunds after another shot disappeared somewhere towards North Wales.
If the goal was two metres taller, Young Boys would’ve won comfortably.
But while others panicked, Ioan Evans decided he was playing in the Champions League final. The man produced TWO absolute wondergoals — the kind where everyone stops for a second and goes, “fair play.” One flew into the top corner with violence, and the other had enough curl on it to make grown men emotional. Kaylum in goal could only stand there looking like he’d accidentally wandered into the wrong sport.
Not to be forgotten, Gethin Roberts also got himself on the scoresheet for the Mediums with a composed finish, proving at least one other player besides Ioan remembered where the goal was.
Math Churm quietly put in a solid shift as well, doing all the dirty work that nobody notices but everyone pretends they could do themselves.
Speaking of awful performances, Beds delivered a legendary stinker. Heavy touches, misplaced passes, getting turned inside out — it had everything. At one point he appealed for a foul after tripping over his own feet. Social media scouts have already described it as “a difficult watch.”
Kaylum between the sticks didn’t fare much better. The Young Boys keeper seemed determined to avoid touching the ball at all costs. Every shot caused panic, confusion, or both. The second Ioan screamer nearly sent him into early retirement.
Still, the game somehow dragged its way to penalties, where Dennis transformed from reliable goalkeeper into an actual wild animal. Diving around “like a cat,” he pulled off unbelievable saves that left the Young Boys players questioning their life choices. One save in particular from Beds reportedly bent the laws of physics.
When the winning penalty went in, the Mediums erupted while Young Boys FC stared blankly into the distance wondering how they’d managed to lose a game despite Jordan playing at 40%.
Man of the Match
Without question, Ioan Evans.
Two outrageous goals, endless quality, and single-handedly keeping Kaylum awake all night worrying about top corners.
A historic win for Blaenau Mediums.
A rough evening for Young Boys FC.
And an especially traumatic night for Beds and Kaylum.
UP The Meds ❤️🤍
Blaenau Mediums vs Young Boys FC — Adroddiad y Gêm
O dan oleuadau llachar y noson a dyfarnu amheus iawn, llwyddodd Blaenau Mediums rywsut i lusgo, ymladd a baglu eu ffordd i fuddugoliaeth dros Young Boys FC ar ôl cic gosb ddramatig.
Daeth y Mediums allan gyda Guto, Dennis, Ioan, Gwps, Choccy, Dyl Dans, Humph, Osian, Gethin, Math Churm a Jordan — er bod tystion dal yn ansicr os oedd Jordan wedi cyrraedd yn feddyliol o gwbl. Mae adroddiadau’n awgrymu iddo dreulio’r rhan fwyaf o’r gêm yn “marcio gofod” ac yn achlysurol loncian ger y bêl i edrych fel petai’n cyfrannu.
Daeth Young Boys FC i mewn yn llawn hyder gyda Deio, Sion Roberts, Cian Pritch, Huw Evans, Moses, Jac Davies, Picks, Cian, Kaylum, Mabon, Deio Hughes a Beds… er efallai y byddai nifer ohonyn nhw’n dymuno pe baen nhw wedi aros gartref ar ôl trychineb heno.
Roedd y gêm ei hun yn anhrefn llwyr o’r dechrau i’r diwedd. Roedd cyfleoedd yn hedfan ym mhobman, yn bennaf dros y bar diolch i allu gorffen ofnadwy Cian Pritch, Deio Williams a Sion Roberts, a lwyddodd gyda’i gilydd i gynhyrchu un o’r arddangosfeydd saethu gwaethaf ers i rywun gicio pêl-droed am y tro cyntaf. Ar un pwynt, fe darodd Deio Williams ergyd mor bell oddi ar y targed fel bod pryderon bellach y gallai ymyrryd â thraffig lloeren. Mae NASA yn ôl pob sôn yn ei olrhain wrth i ni siarad.
Mae cwestiynau hefyd yn cynyddu ynglŷn â sut mae Cian Pritchard yn cael ei dalu i chwarae pêl-droed o gwbl. Yn ôl honiadau, gwelwyd sgowtiaid yn gofyn am ad-daliadau ar ôl i ergyd arall ddiflannu rhywle tuag at Ogledd Cymru.
Pe bai’r gôl ddau fetr yn dalach, byddai Young Boys wedi ennill yn gyfforddus.
Ond tra roedd pawb arall yn colli’u pennau, penderfynodd Ioan Evans ei fod yn chwarae yn rownd derfynol Cynghrair y Pencampwyr. Cynhyrchodd y dyn DDWY gôl ryfeddol — y math sy’n gwneud i bawb stopio am eiliad a dweud, “teg chwarae.” Hedfanodd un i’r gornel uchaf gyda thrais pur, ac roedd gan y llall ddigon o gromlin i wneud dynion grown emosiynol. Dim ond sefyll yno allai Kaylum yn y gôl, yn edrych fel petai wedi crwydro i’r gamp anghywir.
Heb ei anghofio chwaith, cafodd Gethin Roberts ei enw ar y sgorfwrdd gyda gorffeniad tawel a chyfansoddedig, gan brofi fod o leiaf un chwaraewr arall ar wahân i Ioan yn cofio lle’r oedd y gôl.
Fe gafodd Math Churm gêm gadarn hefyd, yn gwneud yr holl waith budr does neb yn sylwi arno ond mae pawb yn smalio y gallent ei wneud eu hunain.
Wrth sôn am berfformiadau gwael, fe gyflwynodd Beds stinker chwedlonol. Cyffyrddiadau trwm, pasiau anghywir, cael ei droelli tu mewn allan — roedd y cyfan yno. Ar un adeg apeliodd am ffŵl ar ôl baglu dros ei draed ei hun. Mae “sgowtiaid cyfryngau cymdeithasol” eisoes wedi disgrifio’r perfformiad fel “gwylio anodd.”
Doedd Kaylum rhwng y pyst ddim llawer gwell chwaith. Roedd gôl-geidwad y Young Boys fel petai’n benderfynol o osgoi cyffwrdd y bêl ar bob cyfrif. Roedd pob ergyd yn achosi panig, dryswch, neu’r ddau. Bu bron i ail ergyd ryfeddol Ioan ei anfon i ymddeoliad cynnar.
Serch hynny, llwyddodd y gêm rywsut i lusgo’i ffordd i giciau o’r smotyn, lle trodd Dennis o fod yn gôl-geidwad dibynadwy yn anifail llwyr. Yn plymio o gwmpas “fel cath,” gwnaeth achubiadau anhygoel a adawodd chwaraewyr Young Boys yn cwestiynu eu dewisiadau bywyd. Yn ôl pob sôn, fe blygwyd deddfau ffiseg gan un achubiad arbennig oddi wrth Beds.
Pan aeth y gic gosb fuddugol i mewn, fe ffrwydrodd y Mediums mewn dathlu tra roedd Young Boys FC yn syllu’n wag i’r pellter yn pendroni sut yn union roedden nhw wedi llwyddo i golli gêm er bod Jordan ond yn chwarae ar 40%.
Dyn y Gêm
Heb unrhyw amheuaeth, Ioan Evans.Dwy gôl hollol anhygoel, ansawdd di-ben-draw, ac yn unig law yn cadw Kaylum yn effro drwy’r nos yn poeni am y corneli uchaf.
Buddugoliaeth hanesyddol i Blaenau Mediums.Noson galed i Young Boys FC.A noson arbennig o drawmatig i Beds a Kaylum.
Up the Meds ❤️🤍
Match Attendance : (1) Aaron roberts travelled 45mins 🤝
