03/06/2026
Everything fell apart at 14.
I don’t always have the right words for grief.
My dad was my best friend and one of my biggest inspirations. Losing him at 14 changed everything I thought I knew about life, safety, and love. My hero, my dad — Allah ya Rahma 🤍
For a long time, I believed I had to “heal” from it… like there would eventually be a version of me that no longer felt it.
But that’s not how it works.
I’ve learned that grief doesn’t disappear — you learn how to carry it differently.
I still miss him at every milestone. Every moment where I think, I wish he was here to see this.
For years, I tried different ways of coping. I tried to ignore my grief. I tried to talk about it. I tried to fill the gap by getting closer to others, even my uncles, looking for that sense of safety again.
But nothing ever felt right.
It wasn’t until much later that I realised it wasn’t about replacing what I lost… it was about changing my mindset.
A shift in how I saw myself. A shift in how I carried the pain. A shift in how I chose to show up for myself.
I’ve learned to give that love back to myself.
Self-love is stronger than any love anyone else can give you, because it stays with you through every loss, every setback, and every season of life.
People often say “it’s part of life”, “it gets easier”, or “stay strong”… but as a child, that makes no sense. And even as an adult, it doesn’t always make it feel any lighter.
This is for anyone who has lost someone they love — you are not alone.
Being emotional is not a weakness. Missing someone deeply is just love that has nowhere else to go.
And losing someone doesn’t mean everyone else will leave too.
It just means you learn, slowly, how to stay open again.
It’s taken me over 20 years to reach a place where I can finally say I understand it now.
Not because the grief is gone — but because I’ve learned how to live beside it.
❤️