11/06/2026
Today, I really want to delve a little bit into self-doubt.
A lot of your self-doubt will originate from your childhood, which is a time when you're developing your personality, developing your self-worth, and your motivation for the things that you love in life. Self doubt can be Placed upon you by your parents or family structures who have expectations that force you to suppress your true self. For example, Your parents may offer only conditional love by saying things such as, If you get good marks at school at the end of the year, we'll buy you this, that, or the other. They may compare you to your siblings, your friends or your cousins. You may just be asked all the time what's the matter with you? when there is nothing wrong. So self-doubt can be planted at a very early age, and it's something that we carry with us throughout life.
As women, we are many things to many people, meaning that we wear many masks. You're the daughter, the sister, the aunt, the mother, the wife, the grandmother. There are so many different masks that you are wearing throughout your life.
When you reach your menopause transition you may feel that suddenly you don't want to wear all of those masks anymore. You've got this real need to return to your true self, return to what you really want, what you really need. You want to put yourself first for a change but you're surrounded by people who expect you to continue to wear your masks. Whether that means you lower your boundaries, you're totally exhausted, irritable or unhappy. Combined with the changes of the menopause transition, this makes you self doubt and lose trust in yourself. It’s confusing and you feel you’re failing somehow but you’re not. You simply need a different way of living.
You need to release the masks and begin to come back to yourself. Your true self, so that some clarity and balance can return to your life. The struggle is real but society makes no adjustments. You are expected to carry on regardless and, really, how does that make you feel?
How safe and happy do your masks make you feel?
I would ask you to spend a little bit of time reflecting on how you can make a small change in your life, to buy back just that tiny bit of time for yourself, make yourself that little bit safer, make yourself just a bit less irritable. In menopause, hormones are up and down and you’re feeling very vulnerable so you need to create safety, balance and authenticity for yourself. Meeting your needs when you need them is the first step to returning to your authentic self.
Spend a little time reflecting on the masks that you wear, and reflect on how those masks actually make you feel.
If you're feeling vulnerable and irritated, where in your body are you feeling that?
What can you do to help loosen?
It’s about building self-compassion, internal dialogue and self trust. Something we all need to be able to stand our ground and say to people, I need to meet my needs too. I cannot be everything for everybody anymore.
Menopause is a second spring which asks you to come back to your true self by losing one mask at a time.
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