20/01/2022
~The term "unconditional love" gets misused a lot, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Recently someone said to me, "When you're in love with someone, you love them 'unconditionally' for who they are." ..NOPE! Not at all true.
First, let's understand that there are several types of "love". General "unconditional spiritual love" can exist in the sense that we "love what is". Everything plays its part in the scope of all creation. "Namaste" and all that...
That's easy because it's often more distant and conceptual.
But we are inherently conditional beings, and our lives are not unconditional. When you're in an intimate relationship, you first entered into that relationship because the other person met your required criteria, or at least convinced you they were passionate about moving in that direction to fulfil the criteria. These criteria are necessary for establishing trust, intimacy, and creating a mutually healthy, fulfilling, and beneficial life together.
Love has generous margins of exception and patience, but the relationship is subject to fade when the other person no longer maintains the level of integrity you require.
Love does not mean indefinitely enduring unfulfilling conditions of partnership to the detriment of your own needs, aspirations, accomplishments, and well-being.
Anyone who demands you to love them "unconditionally" as a condition of relationship is either
1. hung up on some unfulfilled infantile need for endless security with loose personal accountability, OR
2. is looking not for a partner with whom they constantly strive to actualise the best version of themselves with, but for a crutch to lean on through life.
No person who TRULY loves you would want you to be in this position.~
~Humberto Braga
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