03/04/2024
Dear everyone - glad to be in spring. Hoping this message finds you well.
Today, I write to you an account of how I applied trauma knowledge to my own benefit, during an accident at school. I hope to illustrate the sublime ways in which these distinctions can make a difference.
AN ALLY IN REPAIR
I broke my leg. In acrobatics class at school. I didn't know what the sound of snapping bones sounds like. Now I do.
I’ve used my knowledge of trauma and the nervous system to make it through this experience in the best way possible, consciously. There was 3 distinctions I was able to apply. I share with you.
I let myself scream as loud as, and shake as much as. Roll around on the floor as much as I needed to.�To let my body process the pain and do its survival responses as much as possible, freely. Therewith COMPLETING the expression of my body’s response as much as possible, and reducing the risk of PTSD symptoms later.�
I knew about the primordial importance of having the presence of an EMPATHIC WITNESS. So I allowed people's kind presence, holding my hand and caressing my head, and consciously noticed how their presence soothed me. I blocked out remarks or gestures that felt unsupportive in any way.
The days after the accident I noticed one trauma symptom: the traumatic parts of the accident kept playing around in loops in my head, which felt pretty unbearable.
I knew that an element of CAPTIVITY is what is prone to create trauma. And it was precisely the moment with an element of captivity that kept replaying in my head: I had fallen on my foot in a twisted position, and then someone fell on top of me with all their weight. For a moment, I could not move and save myself, and this is what made my bone break. My fight/flight response in that moment was blocked.
Since my body had not been able to complete a certain action, it kept playing around in loops in my mind.
I took this memory loop to my Somatic Experiencing therapist. During the session, I went in and out of the memory, in order to process it. Dipping gently in, and then going witnessing my body, to see what happened there, in response to the memory.��There was explosive shaking and crying.��After the session, I could think of the accident neutrally, without emotional charge or cringing.
Accurate knowledge and awareness is so freeing.�I imagine a world in which this knowledge is not a privilege but a common.
Thank you to everyone who has been accompanying me since the accident.