09/09/2026
Thanks to Kate Bossence for suggesting today's extract, which is from If I Could Ride, by Caroline Akrill.
I'm doing something I almost never do, which is post the end of the book. This is because when I first read it, I felt it was a real cliff hanger. The only problem was that the series finished there. Many, many years later I found the final part ... and there will be an extract from that later in the week.
But back to If I Could Ride. It's the third book in the series, and in it Caroline gives up her stud management course to go and help her cousins with their new riding school. But Caroline still has her own ambitions and dreams .... the success of the school is not enough. Here she is, at the ball at the end of the book, trying to make her mind up.
*****
Inside the indoor school, the dance proper was well under way. To my relief, the floor, which had been like a giant jig-saw puzzle to fit together, was a triumph. The striped lining was also very effective. It gave the Ball an atmosphere of Arabian Nights. The Pony Club were everywhere, flushed and over-excited, unfamiliar in dresses and suits. At the buffet supper, provided by the parents, I sat next to the District Commissioner, overwhelming in red satin. I told her my plans.
‘Splendid,’ she said. ‘When do you start?’
‘January,’ I said. ‘Except that … ’
‘Have you told them?’ she interrupted.
‘Actually, no,’ I said. ‘The thing is … ’
‘You’ve changed your mind,’ she said accusingly.
‘Not exactly,’ I said. ‘Only … ’
‘It’s a mistake,’ she said. ‘If you miss this opportunity, if you flunk it this time, you will regret it for the rest of your life.’
‘I know,’ I said. ‘But … ’
‘Oh, you’ll get the odd ride, I don’t doubt it,’ she said. ‘And the chance to instruct will occur once every full moon, but is that what you really want? Your cousins are charming people, there is no doubt about it, but are you destined to trail in their glorious wake for the rest of your working life? To be the poor relation? To be the dogsbody? To have no career, no qualifications and no confidence? Because that is how it will end. That is how it will finish.’
‘I know you are right,’ I said miserably. ‘But now that the time has come, I am not sure that I can make the break. I am not even sure that I want to.’
The District Commissioner’s sigh billowed out her red satin bodice. ‘They will manage perfectly well without you, you know,’ she said gently. ‘If they have made you feel that they need you, you have been bewitched in the nicest possible way. You have been taken advantage of. I know your cousins well, and I also know that they have taken you for granted. I have seen exactly what has happened for the last three years. We need a rider for the hack — get Caroline. We need someone to show the hunter side-saddle — send for Caroline. We need a secretary — why, Caroline will do it. How long can it go on? Where will it all end? You need to show them that you can make it on your own. Later on, if you really want to, you can come back under your own terms — as a fully qualified instructress, not as a doormat!’
‘It’s true,’ I said. ‘I must make the break now, while I have the chance. In my heart I know that everything you say is true. My cousins would have me believe that they are dependent on me, but in reality, it is the other way round. Yet I have only myself to blame. If I have been a doormat and a dogsbody, I have been a willing one, and in return they have opened doors for me which I never knew existed. They have shown me a whole new life and I am grateful for it.’
I drained my glass of red w**e and shuddered. ‘I shall go to the Training Centre,’ I said decisively.
The D.C. looked relieved. ‘That’s the spirit,’ she said. ‘All you have to do now is to tell them.’
‘I’m not looking forward to that,’ I admitted. ‘I shall have to find the right moment.’
‘You never will,’ she said. ‘No moment will ever be the right one, and then suddenly there won’t be any time left. You must tell them soon. After all, they will have to find a new secretary. Tell them and get it over with. Tell them tonight. It is the least you can do.’
‘I can’t,’ I said. ‘Not tonight.’
But later on, warmed by the atmosphere, delighted by the success of the evening, elated by the lights, the company, the music and the w**e, I found the courage I needed to tell Simon. I had to tell him before I told the others. In all fairness, he had to be the first to know.
I left Aunt Sybil sailing majestically round the dance floor with Mr Fairbrother. Adrian and Sarah were dancing a jig. I bumped into Mr Marmalade whose spell of duty was over.
‘Dear heart!’ he cried, taking me in his arms. ‘You are divine. A dance, I pray you.’
‘Later,’ I said. ‘If you wouldn’t mind. I am looking for someone.’ Mr Marmalade swooped down on Mrs Grey instead.
Simon was leaning against a stable in the back yard, smoking a cigarette. Above him a sign proclaimed ‘No Smoking’ in angry red letters.
We stood for a while in silence, looking at the lights. Listening to the distant chatter and music.
‘Simon,’ I said eventually. ‘I’m going away.’
‘For how long?’ he asked.
‘I shall go home for Christmas,’ I said. ‘And I won’t be coming back.’
‘Why not?’ he said.
‘I want to ride,’ I said. ‘I want to teach. I’m going to take a training course.’
He stared at me for a moment. He said, ‘You can ride here. You can teach here. You don’t have to go away to do it.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It wouldn’t work. I have to do this on my own. In any case, I have arranged it. I have made the decision and it is no use you, or anyone else, trying to change my mind.’
‘I see,’ he said. He dropped his cigarette on to the gravel. He ground out the ember with his heel. Then he turned away.
The next time I saw him, he was dancing with Angela Beauclerk.
****
If you want to find out how Caroline got to where we leave her, the book is available in eBook and paperback. You can also buy the whole series (and save money) from my website in eBook and paperback. Here are the links for you:
eBook bundle of 4 books (£10.99) https://shop.janebadgerbooks.co.uk/products/caroline-akrill-showing-series-bundle
paperback bundle of 4 books (illustrated, £29.99) https://shop.janebadgerbooks.co.uk/products/caroline-akrill-the-showing-series-paperback-collection
eBook (£3.25) https://shop.janebadgerbooks.co.uk/products/copy-of-caroline-akrill-caroline-canters-home
paperback (£8.99): https://shop.janebadgerbooks.co.uk/products/caroline-akrill-if-i-could-ride-paperback-showing-3