24/03/2026
🥷"Fremde" Täter sehen wir ständig in Krimis, in den Nachrichten, in der Werbung von Selbstverteidigungskursen. Doch wir übersehen dabei etwas...
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English:
Self-defence courses that merely warn against “strangers” overlook an important aspect
In many self-defence classes, sexual violence is primarily associated with a specific image of strangers in public spaces:
He wears dark clothing, often a hooded top, and his face is either unrecognisable or out of shot. In many cases, this also plays into racist stereotypes.
This false image of the perpetrator becomes subconsciously ingrained in our minds: a stranger, tall, a monster or a shadow, immediately recognisable as evil, lurking behind the hedge. Such perpetrators do exist, but the reality is usually quite different:
Between 7–15% of perpetrators of sexual offences are strangers to the women* affected, according to studies on unreported cases (source: bpb). Conversely, this means that 85–93% of perpetrators come from the victim’s social circle.
It is a comforting thought to believe that only strangers are dangerous, that we are safe with people we know, and that simply knowing self-defence techniques is enough to protect ourselves against sexual violence from any attacker. And yet...
..the situation is different when the boundary violations and violence come from a boss, coach, brother-in-law or one’s own partner.
The techniques are the same, but the struggle to defend oneself against someone known is much greater due to:
• unequal power dynamics
• social expectations
• family pressure
• feelings towards the man
• creeping violence
Realistic self-defence requires us to face up to reality rather than repress it: it is important to recognise that attacks can come from those closest to us and that we need to address our inner barriers. In my courses, I focus on discussions, role-plays and mental exercises to develop a clear plan. This enables us to recover quickly from being taken by surprise and act confidently. Just like in a fire drill: it’s not about fear, but about having a well-thought-out plan.
More Info: bonoboacademy.de
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