Monica and Stephan

Monica and Stephan I'm a passionate relationship coach.

Being married for 31 years, I've studied and traveled the world with my husband and learned from top experts to create a relationship tool kit to help couples build a loving relationship. A relationship coach helping individuals and couples to build stronger connections and fulfilling relationships. 💖

Visit my pages and connect with me:
👉 https://linktr.ee/monicabissig

At 3,330 meters above sea level, the mountain has a way of putting things into perspective.The air is thinner. The climb...
10/09/2026

At 3,330 meters above sea level, the mountain has a way of putting things into perspective.

The air is thinner. The climb is harder. Your legs get tired.
And at some point, a little voice asks: “Why am I doing this?”
But you keep going.
Not because it’s easy.
Because you’ve already come this far.

And isn’t that what happens in relationships, too?
Sometimes we reach moments where the emotional climb feels exhausting. We wonder if we can keep trying, keep communicating, keep rebuilding.

Resilience doesn’t mean never struggling.
It means learning to pause, breathe, adjust your pace—and take the next step anyway.

Pushing your boundaries doesn’t always mean going faster or higher. Sometimes, it simply means refusing to give up when the path gets difficult.

At 3,330 meters, the summit isn't just a destination.
It’s a reminder of what we’re capable of when we keep moving.

What boundary are you being challenged to push right now—in yourself or in your relationship?

Someone asked me:“How do I trust my partner again after they lied to me?” It's a question many people carry quietly.The ...
08/09/2026

Someone asked me:

“How do I trust my partner again after they lied to me?”

It's a question many people carry quietly.

The truth is, trust rarely comes back because of one apology or one promise.

It is rebuilt slowly—through honesty, accountability, and consistent actions over time.

And sometimes, one of the hardest lessons is understanding that forgiveness and trust are not the same thing.

Swipe through for my thoughts.

Have you ever rebuilt trust after it was broken? What helped—or what made it impossible?

I'd love to hear your experience. ❀

Sometimes, a cup of coffee can tell you more about your relationship than a big date night.it's funny how often the most...
06/09/2026

Sometimes, a cup of coffee can tell you more about your relationship than a big date night.

it's funny how often the most interesting conversations begin when neither of you is trying to have one.
A simple question.
A random thought.
Something that happened years ago that suddenly comes back to one of you.
And before you know it, you're learning something new about the person you've known for decades.
That still surprises me.

After 35 years, there are moments when I look at Stephan and think,
"Wait... I didn't know that about you."

Maybe that's one of the things that keeps a relationship alive.
Not assuming that because you've been together for years, you already know everything.
Still being curious.
Still asking questions.
Still making space to listen.

Because sometimes, all it takes is a cup of coffee and one unexpected question.

So now I'm curious... if we were having coffee together, what question would you ask me about 35 years of marriage?

Ask me anything. ☕

Maybe I'll answer some of your questions in my next post.

35 years later, on a summer date night, sitting in an open-air cinema.Happy. Content. Enjoying a simple evening together...
04/09/2026

35 years later, on a summer date night, sitting in an open-air cinema.
Happy. Content. Enjoying a simple evening together.
It isn't always like this.
And honestly, that's what makes evenings like this so meaningful.
These are the moments that remind us why we kept choosing.
Through the chaos.
The misunderstandings.
The differences.
The pressures of life.
This.
Us.
Again and again.

Because after 35 years, I don't believe marriage is simply about finding someone you will always feel in love with.
I believe it's about building something with someone—and continuing to choose what you've built, even through the seasons when it would be easier not to.

What do you think has the greatest power to sustain a long-term relationship: love, commitment, friendship, forgiveness, or the willingness to keep choosing each other?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❀

The happiest couples I know still argue.That may sound strange coming from a relationship coach.But after decades of mar...
02/09/2026

The happiest couples I know still argue.
That may sound strange coming from a relationship coach.

But after decades of marriage, I can tell you:
We still misunderstand each other.
We still get irritated.
We still have moments when one of us thinks, "How did you possibly hear that from what I just said?" 😂

The goal isn't to become a couple who never disagrees.
The goal is to become a couple who knows how to come back.
Repair.
Accountability.
Curiosity.

A willingness to say:
"I didn't handle that well."
"Help me understand."
"I'm sorry."
"Can we start again?"
Those moments matter.

Because conflict doesn't automatically damage a relationship.

Unrepaired conflict does.
What's harder for you — having the difficult conversation or coming back together afterward?

I'm curious what you've experienced.

Yesterday, Stephan and I celebrated 35 years of marriage.Before there was a marriage, there was a mailbox. Stephan and I...
31/08/2026

Yesterday, Stephan and I celebrated 35 years of marriage.

Before there was a marriage, there was a mailbox. Stephan and I met in Fribourg — then he left for work in Argentina, and I was a senior in college. Few calls, no texts. Just airmail, once a week.

I checked my mailbox every single day. And the moment I spotted that blue envelope, I was smiling before I'd even opened it. Inside were the small, sweet things — that he was thinking of me, that he was waiting for me.

Looking back, that year of writing instead of talking gave us something a phone call never could have: a place to be completely open and vulnerable, and to really learn about each other. By the time it ended, I had no hesitation and no doubts left. I knew I could take his hand and jump into whatever life had for us. He gave me security.

35 years later, that hasn't changed. I still hold his hand and jump into any adventure — and hold on through the rough winds the journey of life gives us.

I still have every single one of those letters.

This month, I'm opening them back up — one at a time.

Comment "LETTERS" if you want to follow along.

You don't always need a weekend away to reconnect.Sometimes you need 10 uninterrupted minutes.No phones.No television.No...
28/08/2026

You don't always need a weekend away to reconnect.
Sometimes you need 10 uninterrupted minutes.

No phones.
No television.
No multitasking.
And, most importantly...
no trying to win.

This exercise isn't designed to solve every problem in your relationship.
It's simply a way to create space for something that often disappears in busy marriages:

curiosity about each other.

And if one of the questions brings up something difficult, don't rush to fix it.
Listen first.

You might be surprised by what your partner has been carrying quietly.

Which question would be hardest for you to ask your partner?

Save this and try it together this week.

What if your relationship isn't broken?What if the two of you have simply become very good at repeating the same pattern...
25/08/2026

What if your relationship isn't broken?
What if the two of you have simply become very good at repeating the same pattern?
One criticizes.
The other withdraws.
One pushes harder.
The other shuts down.
One says, "You don't care."
The other thinks, "Nothing I do is ever enough."
And round and round you go.

I've seen this pattern in couples I've worked with.
I've experienced versions of it in my own marriage.
And one of the most hopeful things I've learned is this:
A pattern can be changed.

That doesn't mean pretending nothing happened.
It doesn't mean tolerating disrespect.
And it certainly doesn't mean one person has to do all the changing.
It means becoming curious enough to see the dance you're both caught in.
Because sometimes the problem isn't:
"Which one of us is the problem?"
It's:
"What happens between us when we get triggered?"

That question can open an entirely different conversation.
After all these years, I still believe this:
Extraordinary relationships aren't found.
They're built.
Usually in very ordinary moments.

What relationship pattern have you noticed yourself repeating — even though you promised yourself you wouldn't?

You don't have to share anything too personal. Even one sentence is enough.
Someone reading your comment may realize they're not alone.

Sometimes the words coming out of our mouths aren't the words our hearts are trying to say."You don't care.""I do everyt...
21/08/2026

Sometimes the words coming out of our mouths aren't the words our hearts are trying to say.

"You don't care."
"I do everything."
"You never listen."
"Whatever."

I've said some version of these things myself.
And over time, I've learned to become curious about what's underneath them.
Not to excuse hurtful communication.
Not to avoid accountability.
But because understanding the deeper need gives us somewhere to go.

In Relational Life Therapy, we often look beyond the surface behavior to understand the patterns underneath it.
Because if we only argue about the sentence...
we may never talk about the hurt.

When you're upset with your partner, what do you usually need most — reassurance, understanding, support, respect, or something else?

Tell me in the comments. Someone else's answer may put words to something you've been feeling too. Save this for later.

After decades of marriage, you'd think we'd have each other figured out.We don't.And I'm actually grateful for that.Beca...
18/08/2026

After decades of marriage, you'd think we'd have each other figured out.
We don't.
And I'm actually grateful for that.

Because Stephan isn't the same person I married.
And neither am I.
We've lived on five continents.
Raised four daughters.
Been through seasons of having very little.

We've experienced different cultures, different expectations, different dreams.
And we've misunderstood each other more times than I can count.

For a long time, I thought a strong marriage meant eventually reaching a place where you stopped having difficult conversations.
I don't believe that anymore.
I think a strong marriage is one where you become willing to keep having them.

To keep asking:
"Who are you becoming?"
"What are you needing now?"
"What have I not understood?"
"What do you want me to know?"

Marriage isn't a museum where we preserve the people we were when we said, "I do."
It's a relationship between two people who keep changing.
And hopefully...
keep choosing to know each other again.

What is something about your partner that you've discovered only after many years together?

I'd love to hear the things you didn't expect to learn.

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