10/16/2024
My Little Sweet Pea,
How a year has gone by so fast, and yet my heart still hurts knowing you’re not here. Today is the anniversary of your anticipated birth. You would be one year old. I often wonder what you would be like. Would you have daddy’s prominent dimples? Or maybe mama’s curious nature and sense of adventure? What would your sweet little giggle sound like, I wonder? Probably the most beautiful sound in the world. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you. I'd like to think that in some small way you are here with us - in the wind carrying the bubbles that I blow for you up into the sky, in the seeds that I’ve planted and watched grow, or maybe even at the sight of plush bunnies when I unexpectedly see them in random places. Comfort fills me in those moments, but so does grief because I am always aware that a piece of my heart is missing. But you will always have that piece as it belongs to you, and I hope it continues to keep you safe and warm, just as you were in my belly.
This year, your dad and I - along with your auntie Wendy and uncle Jonathan - participated in the Butterfly Run Vancouver for the second time! We ran the 5km route along the beautiful scenic False Creek area and had such a lovely time meeting other mommies and daddies who also have babies in the stars. Auntie Jennifer, uncle Mark and your baby cousin Emily were all cheering us on from home since Emily is still little. But boy, do we all love you so much! Yesterday was also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day, so in honour of you, we joined the rest of the world in lighting a candle for you at 7pm for the International Wave of Light. You continue to be such a blessing and I hope I can continue to be a good mama to you. Happy First Heavenly Birthday, my little one.
Love,
Mama