09/24/2024
It’s been a year since I posted on this account, but I had a thought the other day that felt more appropriate to share here than over on my ‘new’ business account where I am spending my Instagram time lately…
I’ve been struggling with my body image for quite some time. Years.
And since moving to Mexico, I’ve lost weight and inches…but it still doesn’t feel like ‘enough’. I don’t know what ‘enough’ is anymore.
And I thought about what people will say about my body when we move back.
And I thought about my uncle who used to say to me, all of the time, ‘You need to eat more! You’re so skinny!’
This was in my 20’s when I was dancing 6-7 days a week and eating a BLT and a coke before a show…and that’s it…
And then, I don’t know when, he just stopped saying it, and he’s never said it since.
And it hit me the last time couple of times I saw him that ‘You need to eat more!’ was no longer his refrain.
Which meant something in particular in my mind.
That I was no longer skinny and should in fact eat less.
Just a little thought about how we should never comment on people’s bodies…ever…because that s**t runs deep. Even if it isn’t intentional.
And a little thought about how there is still a part of me that ‘hopes’ people will say something positive when they see me next…and I wish that s**t would just go away but it is SO entrenched…