06/12/2026
I love these photos from my Toronto show last year, but nobody has seen them because I couldn’t look at them without feeling my stomach sink.
But after getting much sicker this March, nothing bothers me anymore 😅
Toronto Pro Qualifier 2025, show day. 2am. I wake up throwing up like it hadn’t happened in 13 years. It was just a stupid bad salad, but I got so scared it escalated into a full cyclic vomiting episode. By 8am, I didn’t know if I should go get ready for prejudging or just go to the hospital.
Thank God for Jenna Bodybuilding Competition Services & Accessories 💎
“Darn babe, looks like you had a rough night”, she said.
We decided I would make it on stage for those 15 seconds and then head to the ER 😅. She made me a bed behind the tanning booths and kept showing up every few minutes with cold air jets on my stomach. I woke up with makeup on; her artist had done it on the floor while holding my passed-out head up. Thank you, love yous 🙏
I thought that whole s**t show was a sign that my body needed a break. So I took a break after the show in June… and never went back. Worst idea ever.
In 3 months, my markers were a mess, my doctor was begging me to go back because my body loves strict structure.
But by then my mind had already checked out and become deeply involved with dulce de leche and pizza😌
“I’ll wait until January.” (tricky)
Then January became:
“Nah… I’m going to Brazil in March. When I come back in April, I’ll seriously get back into my routine.”
And that was the sneaky thought that killed it.
March happened.
Nine months of slacking became eleven days sick in bed in Brazil. My precious week of the year, gone, as a sort of conciliation between my body and mind to teach me a lesson and kick me back on track.
The denial was gone.
Now the fight was about catching every single sneaky thought trying to keep me in energy-saving mode.
I’m now 2 months into that fight: better sleep, better markers, more movement, more structure. Still rebuilding. But finally moving in the right direction again.
Watching the video today, I don’t see sick me fainting on stage anymore. I see the beginning of a lesson that took me a year to understand ❤️
