10/05/2026
I’ve thinking a lot this week about the type of person my Dad was and how it influenced who I became as an adult.
Giving gifts and acts of service were my Dad’s love languages.
The very last conversation I had with him was when he showed up at my house with a single bowl of cherry tomatoes because he knew I loved them.
My sister and I were both grown adults with our own families, which did not stop him from always buying extra at the grocery store so he could tell us “Hey frozen pizzas were on sale this week. I grabbed some for yous!” We never left my parents’ house empty handed.
He did this not just for us, but for everyone he cared for. The elderly neighbours always had their driveways cleared and their freezers stocked with fish we caught in the summer. Picking up corn at a roadside stand always meant buying extra for friends or family. Once he read a good book, he’d always gift it to someone to read and pass on.
This is what I now try to do in my day to day life as a way of honouring my Dad and trying to be the person he modelled.
What often very much surprises me, however, is how giving is often seen as “doing too much”. I’m surprised when people are taken aback by it.
There are actual Indigenous teachings around this- if you have something to give, you give.
We also have teachings around reciprocity. For me this means that if I do something for you, or gift you with something, it means that you have already given me something valuable, which often is simply the gift of your kindness and friendship in a world that is often very cold.
So I guess I’d like to share that if I ever do something for you or gift you with something, this means so much more to me than you could ever know . It’s the love language I learned from my Dad. You don’t owe me anything as chances are you’ve already given me a gift without realizing it. 🩵
Gift giving in Indigenous culture goes way beyond the gift, it is a sacred tradition of relationality and kinship. It makes my world a happier place being able to pass these teachings on and to live them in honour of my Dad.
Bami’iwe 🩵