Subtle Balance

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Edegem
Subtle Balance

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💔 Narcissism Recovery
💞 Relationship Coach
🌿 Family Constellations
🔹 Empowering you to heal
➡️ more active on Instagram

17/06/2026

Today my oldest turns sixteen. 🎂

Sixteen years of showing up. Sixteen years of figuring it out as I went. Sixteen years of being the safe place when everything else wasn’t. 😢

Co-parenting with a narcissistic ex is not co-parenting. It’s counter-parenting.

It’s doing most of it alone while also managing everything that comes with the other side. 💔

These are five things I learned along the way. Not from a book. From living it.

If you’re in this too, I hope something here lands for you. 🩷

Which one of these five hits closest to home for you? Tell me in the comments, I read every single one.

Lots of love 💕
Selina

09/06/2026

We’ve all been there. 🫣

He goes quiet.
You push.

He says he’s fine.
You know he’s not.

He walks out.
You say something you can’t take back.

… And suddenly you’re both standing on opposite sides of a wall that neither of you meant to build. 😢

This carousel is for the couples who love each other but keep having the same fight. The ones where one person shuts down and the other one chases.

Where the words come out wrong even when the intention was right. 💔

What we say in those moments matters more than we think. Not because you need to be perfect. But because the right words can keep a door open that the wrong ones would slam shut. 🩷

Save this for the next time things go quiet. And send it to the person you keep having this conversation with.

Lots of love 💕
Selina

07/06/2026

I didn’t always understand this…

For a long time (and sometimes it’s still difficult)
I took the silence personally. 🫣

I mistook emotional unavailability for not caring.
I thought if someone loved you enough, they would just… open up.

Eventually. If you were patient enough. Safe enough. Good enough. 😢

What I understand now, through my own life and through the work I do, is that most men were never given the tools. Not because they didn’t want to connect. But because connection, vulnerability, and emotional honesty were quietly and consistently trained out of them from the time they were small boys. 😢

That doesn’t make the impact on the people around them any less real. But it does change how we look at it. And it changes what becomes possible. 🩷

If this resonates, save it. And share it with someone who needs to read it today.

Lots of love 💕
Selina

04/06/2026

I work with men. Not many coaches in this space talk about that, but I do...

And what I see, over and over,
is not men who don’t feel.
It’s men who were so thoroughly trained to suppress feeling that they genuinely don’t know how to access it anymore.

They’re not cold.
They’re not broken.
They’re disconnected,
from something that was taken
from them very early. 😢

The su***de statistics aren’t a mystery.
When you spend a lifetime being told that vulnerability is weakness, asking for help becomes almost impossible. Even when everything is falling apart.

This is Men’s Mental Health Month! 💙
But this conversation doesn’t end in June.

If you’re a man reading this or a woman who loves one, I see you. And I want you to know: learning to feel again is not weakness. 😉

It’s the hardest and most important work there is. 🩷

Lots of love 💕
Selina

02/06/2026

June is Men’s Mental Health Month. 💙

But this isn’t about a month.
This is about the boys we raise and the men they become.

The ones who learned to go silent instead of asking for help.
The ones sitting across from me in sessions, finally learning that feelings aren’t the enemy.

It took them decades to get there.
It didn’t have to. 😢

If there’s a man in your life who struggles to open up: this one’s for him. And for the version of him that was once a boy who was told to toughen up. 😢

Lots of love 💕
Selina

01/06/2026

Men’s mental health deserves more than a month! 💙

It deserves space.
Softness.
Understanding.
Support.

This is for the men who carry silent burdens.
Who were never taught how to feel.
Who are healing while holding it all together.

June is Men’s Mental Health Month.
Let this be a reminder:
Silence isn’t strength.
Vulnerability is.

Let’s stop glorifying emotional suppression and start normalising honest, messy, real healing.

Tag a man who deserves to hear this.
Share to break the stigma.

Lots of love 💕
Selina

31/05/2026

Read that again. Slowly.

Because the guilt of “why did I stay so long” is one of the heaviest things you carry after a toxic relationship. And it’s also one of the most unfair. 😢

You didn’t stay because you were weak. You stayed because you were human. Because you loved. Because you hoped. Because leaving felt more dangerous than staying. 🫣

You survived until you could leave. That’s not failure. That’s strength you haven’t given yourself credit for yet.

Lots of love 💕
Selina

28/05/2026

Today I had an energetic constellation for myself. 🥰

I’m not going to try to fully explain, cause I’m still sitting with it. But something shifted.

Something that’s been running in the background for a long time finally got quiet for a minute. 🤲🏻

What came up was this:
How much of my energy has gone into being constantly on. Constantly managing. Constantly scanning for what needs to be fixed, held, carried, anticipated.

Survival mode doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it just looks like a woman who never fully exhales. 🫣

And somewhere in that room today, I met a version of myself that was so tired of fighting. 🥊

Not fighting him.
Not fighting the situation. Fighting herself.
Criticising herself.
Pushing herself.
Asking herself to be more,
do more, hold more. 😢

The first fight I needed to stop was the one within myself.

I don’t have a neat conclusion for this yet. I’m still finding the words. But I think forgiveness, real forgiveness, starts there.

Not with forgiving what happened. With forgiving yourself for how long it took to see it.

For the years you spent at war with the one person who was always on your side.

If something in this lands,
you’ll know why.

Lots of love 💕
Selina

26/05/2026

Here’s something nobody warned me about. 🫣

When you leave a toxic relationship, you think the hard part is over.

The walking away.
The closing of the door.
The space that finally feels like yours again.

And then you start dating again. Or you don’t even date,
you just meet someone new, anyone, a colleague, a friend’s partner, a stranger at a dinner and you notice it.

The scanning.
The bracing.
The way your body reads them in the first three seconds for danger that isn’t there. 😢

You’re not in that relationship anymore. But the wiring still is. 🧠

We talk a lot about leaving.
We don’t talk enough about the unlearning that comes after.

The part where you have to teach your nervous system that not every silence is the start of something bad.
That not every raised voice is a threat.
That not every kind gesture has a price tag attached.

That part takes longer than the leaving. Way longer. 😢

And it’s not weakness. It’s not “still being hung up on them.” It’s your body doing exactly what it was trained to do. The unlearning is the work. The unlearning is the healing.

If you’re in that phase right now, somewhere between “I’m out” and “I feel safe”… please know it’s not taking too long.

You’re not doing it wrong. You’re rebuilding a whole internal map. 🩷

Save this for the day you catch yourself flinching at something that wasn’t a threat. And send it to the friend who keeps apologising for “still not being over it.”

Lots of love 💕
Selina

24/05/2026

I keep thinking about this line. 💭

It’s from Pippi Longstocking, a little girl in a children’s book from 1945, with red braids and one strength most adults lose somewhere along the way: the absence of doubt. 🥰

We’ve been taught the opposite. “I’ve never done it, so I probably can’t.” “I don’t have experience, so who am I to try.” “What if I fail?”

A child doesn’t think like that.
A child thinks: new thing, let’s go!

If there’s something you’ve been talking yourself out of this week, maybe try her logic instead. Just for a day. 🩷

Save this for the day your brain tries to talk you out of something. And send it to the friend who keeps saying “I could never.” 😉

Lots of love 💕
Selina

Adres

Edegem
2650

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http://www.subtlebalance.be/

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