01/05/2023
Attention all tennis enthusiasts! Your local tennis club has made history by signing their youngest player ever. None other than 19-month-old Lincoln Ace, who they say is destined to be the next Roger Federer.
Sources say that the signing ceremony was truly a sight to behold- Lincoln in his diaper and tiny tennis shoes, clutching his racket with two hands, grinning from ear to ear. The club's board of directors was so impressed that they decided to lock him down for a whopping 40-year non-disclosed contract.
When asked to comment on the signing, Lincoln's dad stated, 'We always knew he was a prodigy, ever since he started repeatedly hitting balls over the fence in our backyard. We just didn't realize he would make it big so soon.'
Critics have pointed out that Lincoln is barely old enough to speak, let alone understand the complexities of pro tennis, but the club insists that he is a natural talent. The terms of the contract are still unknown, but insiders claim it includes limitless milk, nap times, and toys.
It remains to be seen whether Lincoln Ace will live up to the expectations of the club or if he will go the way of many child stars before him and have his talents fade by puberty. But for now, we can all sit back and enjoy the spectacle of a baby playing tennis like a seasoned pro."
