Insightful Conversations and Coaching

Insightful Conversations and Coaching I'm Susanne Fuerst, a coach who works with people who are the dependable one in every room: capable, reliable, and quietly exhausted.

Together we move from coping and performing to genuine self-trust, clarity, and a life that actually feels like yours. About Susanne and Insightful Conversations & Coaching:
I am passionate about empowering self-sufficiency and agency in myself and others. By understanding the needs of others, I can guide and support you to gain insight, enabling you to help yourself and flourish. I believe in the

strength of individuals and that you are the expert of your own story and with that the author and director of your life. However, sometimes we are too close to our own story and then my role as a coach is to help via guided questions, alternative perspectives, and tools to gain clarity and insight. I founded my practice Insightful Conversations and Coaching as progression of my 37 years professional career which led me through several countries, companies and positions as well as various experiences be it on an interpersonal, intercultural, communication level or leadership, employee engagement, company & team culture, and strategy level or engagement with clients and customers. The value of setting up my own practice is that I can take all the experience and skills and focus on what matters. Working with you to listen to your story and together work on the journey to reach your full potential and lead a fulfilled life. My practice, Insightful Conversations and Coaching, is a trauma-informed practice. This means, I understand trauma and acknowledge that approximately 50 - 70% of people will have a potentially traumatic experience during their lifetime. A trauma-informed practice aims to be aware and mindful of this fact and provide a safe, trustworthy, collaborative, and empowering environment while respecting the autonomy of the individual.

19/06/2026

Are your high standards quietly running your life?

Having high standards is not a bad thing.
They can help you care about the quality of your work.
They can keep you on track and accountable.
They can help you grow and become an expert.

And for some people, high standards may have offered something even deeper.
A sense of safety.
A way to feel in control when other things did not feel steady.
Being capable and resourceful can give you a sense of independence.

However in some instances perfect grades, strong performance, and good behaviour became the condition for being acknowledged or praised.

So yes, while high standards can be useful
they cross the line when they turn into unrelenting high standards.

Because then, they may no longer help you.
They may actually be quietly running your life.

That might sound something like this:
I cannot let this drop.
This is not good enough. I cannot submit that yet.
I cannot ask for help because they might think I am not capable.
I cannot delegate because it takes too long to explain.
And even then, it may not be done properly, so it is easier if I do it myself.
I cannot slow down because there is so much more to do.

The cost over time can be significant.
It can affect your physical and mental health.
In the worst case, it can contribute to anxiety, burnout, or exhaustion.
It can affect your relationships at work, in friendships, with family, and at home.

It can also affect your reputation.
Because how do you support others, collaborate, delegate, and give people a chance to grow if everything has to meet your unrelenting high standard first?

When unrelenting high standards are quietly running your life,
you may keep proving that you are capable and resourceful,
while also keeping yourself isolated.

Not because you want to be isolated.

But because relying on yourself can feel safer than relying on others.
And at the same time, you may be running out of energy and motivation.
You are running on empty.

And this is not about giving up on your values or standards.
Not at all.

It is about reviewing your current situation with self-compassion.
And I know that may feel unfamiliar and challenging in itself.

And then start to ask yourself:
“How much longer can I keep going like this?”
“What would it look and feel like if good enough was enough to move forward?”

Because your capability and resourcefulness are real strengths.
And your “good enough” may already be what others would call ready, finished, or even excellent.

This is about finding the balance between being able to move forward
and being overwhelmed by standards that never let you stop.

Let me know in the comments are your standards quietly running your life?

18/06/2026

Does rewarding yourself feel strange?

“Reward yourself” might sounds nice and natural to some

But you might think:
Reward myself for what?
For doing my work?
For getting through the day?
For doing what needed to be done?

Because to you, it may not feel extraordinary.
It may feel normal.
You get things done and keep going.
You are used to adapting to situations.
You are no stranger to managing responsibilities.

So the idea of rewarding yourself
for what is “your normal” can feel strange.
Even indulgent.

Especially if you learned early
that effort only counts when the result is exceptional.
Or that praise was scarce or even absent.

Over time, you might have developed
very high standards for yourself.
And you might have stopped noticing
how much effort it really takes.

The focus becomes:
Could I have done more?
Was there a better way?
What did I miss?

And not:
That went really well.
That was difficult and took a lot of effort.
What did I achieve today?

And yes, the word “reward” might not be the right word.

It's rather about acknowledging that your effort mattered.
That what you did mattered, even if
the whole task or problem is not solved yet.
That doing the “normal” thing still requires skill and energy.

And maybe this acknowledgement does not have to be big.
It might be cooking something nice.
Getting takeaway instead of cooking.
Going for a walk.
Sitting down and enjoying a book, movie, or music
without thinking about what else you could be doing.

Not because you achieved something extraordinary.
But because you are not a machine.

And your effort is worth acknowledging, even if to you it feels like:
“This is my normal. Nothing special to see here.”

So maybe the question is not:
“How do I reward myself?”

Maybe start with:
“How can I acknowledge what I did today?”

Question: Does rewarding yourself feel natural to you, or does it feel a bit strange?

I’m looking for 4 women who want to stop pretending that everything is fine and be themselves finally! in the next 12 we...
17/06/2026

I’m looking for 4 women who want to
stop pretending that everything is fine
and be themselves finally!
in the next 12 weeks

Comment “Ready” and I DM you the details

16/06/2026

Why is it so hard to know what I want?

Sometimes it is much easier to say what you do not want.

I do not want to feel this exhausted.
I do not want to feel responsible for everyone else.
I do not want to feel like I am only functioning.
I do not want to keep living by the expectation of others

That part may feel clear.
Because you know what it feels like.
You have lived it.

And you have felt the cost of it.
You can describe the frustration, the pressure,
the resentment, the tiredness,
or the sense that this does not fit anymore.

But when someone asks:
“What do you want instead?”
That’s a whole different story.

You might be able to give a broad answer but not really details.
And that does not mean you are confused.

It may mean you are entering less familiar territory.
Because you might not be used to thinking about what you want.

Maybe you are rather used to thinking:
What does everyone else need?
What is expected of me?
How to keep things calm?
What is the sensible option?

And after years of thinking that way,
your own needs and wants can become harder to identify.

Not because they are not there.
But because you are not used to actually articulate them.

So maybe the first step is not to push yourself to create a full list.
But understanding that it may take some time.

Especially if you have spent a long time
focused on what others need, what life requires,
or what you had to get through.

Because sometimes clarity does not arrive all at once.

Sometimes it begins with noticing:
What gives me energy?
What makes me feels lighter?

Noticing what makes you genuinely smile,
on the outside and inside and go from there.

Let me know in the comments if this resonates with you?

15/06/2026

Would your inner voice pass the pub test?

If someone spoke to your friend
the way you speak to yourself, would you think:
“That is fair.”
“That is helpful.”
“That is honest feedback.”

Or would you think:
“That’s a bit harsh.”
“That’s not really fair.”
“That’s not okay.”

Because many people have an inner voice
that is much harsher
than they would ever speak to someone else.

You make a mistake, and it says:
“Of course you messed that up.”
Or:
“You should have figured this out by now.”

You try something new, and it says:
“Who do you think you are?”

You rest, and it says:
“Nothing better to do?”

You speak up, and it says:
“Really, you thought that would convince them?”

And often, that voice may have developed
as a way to protect you.
To keep you alert.
To keep you safe.

And sometimes that voice might also be an echo
of someone else’s voice you heard a lot in your past.
Someone who said these things to you.

And over time, those words may have become so ingrained
that they started to sound like your own inner voice.

So, this is not about blaming yourself for having that voice.
Not at all.
And it is not about changing it into pretending everything is perfect.

However, if your inner voice is always highly negative and critical,
it may not be protecting you anymore.
It may be holding you back.

Because there is a difference
between honest reflection and tearing yourself down.

Such as
“That did not go the way I hoped. What can I take from this?”
Versus
“This proves I am not good enough.”

or
“I am nervous. Remember you are prepared and have practised. Trust yourself.”
Versus
“Do not even bother.”

Honest reflection helps you grow.
Harshness keeps you small.

So maybe the question is not:
“How do I silence my inner voice?”
But:
“Is this voice helping me
respond with more clarity, or is it keeping me stuck?”

Because your inner voice does not need to be fake positive.
But it should be fair and constructive.

Share in the comments: Would your inner voice pass the pub test?

12/06/2026

Are you limiting yourself with habits that once protected you?

When you have been doing the inner work, things can start to shift.
You may feel more grounded.
You may understand your triggers better.
You may pause more often before reacting
and respond with more intent.
You may have grown more self-trust and self-belief.

And still, some old habits may show up.
People-pleasing to keep the peace.
Playing it safe so you do not draw attention.
Staying quiet instead of speaking up to avoid confrontation.
Holding back because being seen still feels uncomfortable.

These habits did not come from nowhere.
They had a purpose.

They may have helped you feel safer.
Helped you belong.
Helped you avoid conflict.
Helped you cope with situations
where you might have felt
you did not have many choices or any choices.

So, this is not about judging them.
And it is not about forcing yourself to change overnight.

It is about recognising that your mind and body
may have been trained to protect you in a certain way.

And now, when you are building a different life,
these habits can still switch on automatically.

But you are growing.
And you are choosing a different path on purpose.
You may have more insight and awareness now.

So when you feel hesitation or resistance coming up,
and the pull to fall back into the safer option:
People-pleasing.
Playing it safe.
Staying quiet.
Not standing up or speaking up for yourself.

Maybe the response is not to be frustrated
with yourself and push it away.

Maybe it is to acknowledge
what your mind and body are trying
to tell you and connect with it.

“I hear you.”
“I know what you are trying to do.”
“I understand why this feels risky.”
“And I’ve got this.”

Not as a fake confidence statement.
But as a way of letting your mind and body know:
I received the signal.
I am not dismissing it.
I am okay now.
I can choose where I take this from here.

Because what once protected you may still deserve respect.
But it does not have to keep limiting
the life you are trying to build now.

Have you noticed an old protective habit showing up,
even though you know something in you has changed?
Let me know in the comments

10/06/2026

Do you really mean “I don’t know” or you don’t trust yourself enough yet?

Someone asks you a question.
And you say: “I don’t know.”
But is that the whole truth?

Sometimes “I don’t know” might cover something else.
“I am not sure enough to say it.”
“What if I get it wrong?”
“What if I sound silly?”
“What if I speak out of turn?”
“What if someone else knows better?”

So instead of saying what you think,
you stay quiet, or you say:
“I don’t know.”

Then someone else says something close to what you were thinking.
And they get acknowledged for it.

Part of you might think:
That is what I was going to say.
That is what I thought.

But you didn’t trust yourself enough to say it.
And that might sting

Because this is not only about the answer or the acknowledgement.
This is about your self-trust.

Self-trust is not about being right.
And it is not the same as being confident and certain.
Or pretending that you do not have any self-doubt.

Self-trust is being willing to listen to your voice.
To take your own thoughts seriously.
And to let your voice enter the room,
even when you are not 100% sure.

And when things don’t work out the way you thought,
self-trust also means not tearing yourself down afterwards.

Not letting your inner critic turn one moment into a story about who you are.
It is about backing yourself up.

And yes, you can review the situation.
You can take something from it.
You can adjust for next time.
That is all part of a natural cycle through which you build self-trust.

So maybe the next time “I don’t know” comes up, pause for a moment and ask:
Do I really not know?
Or do I not trust myself enough yet to say what I think?

Have you noticed yourself saying “I don’t know” when part of you did know?

09/06/2026

What story did your mind just create?

Someone does not reply.
And your mind says,
“I must have done something wrong.”

Someone’s tone feels different.
And your mind says,
“They are upset with me.”

You hear about a get-together you were not invited to.
And your mind says,
“I do not belong.”

You make a small mistake.
And your mind says,
“Now they will think I am not good enough.”

Sometimes your mind goes off and creates a whole story.
Not because you are dramatic.
Not because you are weak.

But because your mind does not like uncertainty.
It tries to fill in the blanks to make sense of the situation.

And often, the story it creates is shaped by what you have experienced before.

Times you might have been criticised.
Times you might have been excluded.
Times you might have been dismissed.
Times you had to notice small changes in people’s mood, tone, or behaviour to feel safer.

So the story created may feel familiar.
But familiar does not mean true.

And that is where curiosity can help.
Not to create a nicer story.
Not to talk yourself out of what you feel.

But to check what you actually know
and move from there with curiosity.

You might ask:
“What do I actually know?”
“What am I assuming?”
“What could I clarify?”

And sometimes, that may sound like:
“I didn’t fully catch that. Can you please repeat or clarify?”
“I was wondering what you meant by that.”
“I heard about the get-together for X’s birthday.
I wouldn’t mind joining in.”

And yes, it can take courage to speak up.
And potentially even more to directly ask for something.

And sometimes you may not get the response you hoped for.
That is worth keeping in mind.

“The benefit?” you ask
You do might get a response you did not expect,
and it may positively surprise you.

And if not, you know where you stand.
And you can respond from there.

Instead of continuing to ruminate over
the worst-case story your mind created in silence.

Have you noticed your mind is creating stories when you dont have all the facts?
Let me know in the comments.

08/06/2026

I didn’t even give myself a chance.

Sometimes you have an idea,
but you do not follow it.

You think you may know the answer,
but you say, “I don’t know.”

You see that a meeting is going off track,
but you do not speak up.

Not because you are not capable.

You may know the material.
You may understand the situation.
You may see what others are missing.
You may know how to work with people.

But something in you stops before you even begin.

Self-doubt.
Fear of getting it wrong.
Fear of speaking out of turn.
Fear of the consequence if your voice is not welcomed.

So instead of giving yourself a chance,
you shut yourself down.

Your lived experience might have taught you
that there were times when speaking up was not safe.
That getting it wrong came with consequences.
That being visible felt risky.
That you needed to check yourself before anyone else could.

So, the question now might be:
Is this situation the same as then?
And are you the same person as then?

Maybe the first step is not to force yourself to be confident.

Maybe the first step is to pause and ask:
“What if I gave myself a chance?”
Not a guarantee.
Not a promise that it will feel easy.

Just a chance.
A chance to speak.
A chance to try.

A chance to trust that what you notice and what you know matters.

What would change for you if you gave yourself a chance?
Share in the comments below.

05/06/2026

Why do I have to be the one to change?

This question can come up when you are doing the inner work
to ground yourself, connect to yourself, and build self-trust.

Why do I have to change?
Why do I have to be the one to pause, reflect, regulate, rebuild, or respond differently?
Why do I have to do all this work on top of everything else?

And honestly, that question makes sense.
It can feel unfair.
Frustrating.
Exhausting.
Like one more burden is added on top of everything.

This is not about assigning responsibility to others.
And it is not about minimising what happened.

It is about what is within your circle of influence and control.
It is about what can help you move forward in a way that serves you.
Toward a life that feels safer, more grounded,
and built on choice instead of old patterns or fear.

What do you truly have influence or control over?

Can you control what others think or how they respond?
No.
Can you control what you think or how you respond?
Maybe not always.
But increasingly, yes.

You can begin to choose how much power
those situations continue to have over you.

How you respond.
What boundaries you set.
What you choose to no longer carry in the same way.
How you support yourself.

And no, that does not make it easy.
And it does not make it any fairer.

But it gives you a place to begin that belongs to you.
To take your voice back.
To come home to yourself.

Because your life, your energy, your voice, and your future matter.

Let me know in the comments what does “Coming home to yourself” mean to you?

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