05/10/2024
I want to start off by saying this feels extremely vulnerable for me to share but something I feel compelled to bring.
This year for me has been an absolute whirlwind. I want to take you back to December last year I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, only to lose the little bean very shortly after finding out. In typical Britt fashion I carried on with life convincing myself I trust the process and that this little soul wasnβt ready to journey earthside yet. (I still believe this to be true) but this was my way of down playing my heartache.
I carried on with life, business, classes until I started to completely shutdown. Fight flight freeze is a familiar state for me but this felt like something bigger. I was refusing to slow down and allow my body, mind and soul to heal. I didnβt want to slow down because slowing down meant feeling this immense loss and pain. I wasnβt ready for that!
Until I was.
I decided to stop teaching my jungle body classes to heal but I tell you this was just the beginning of my greatest crumbling. I stopped moving my body, I stopped talking to people, I shut down completely. Getting out of bed most days felt like my biggest accomplishment.
Iβve battled with the darkest parts of my mind for most of my life. Mental health issues is something I have battled for a very long time. I have recently discovered I have ADHD, struggle with PMDD which causes suicidal ideation, severe anxiety & often depression during the luteal phase of my cycle every single month.
These conditions acerbate one another which makes it incredibly challenging. But what I now recognise is this.
The day you stop doing what you love is the day itβs game over! Iβve been sabotaging my soul. Dancing, movement has always been my soulβs medicine and as a form of self punishment I took this away from myself.
Iβve recently started taking myself through jungle body workouts and it honestly feels like the pieces that Iβve been missing are slowly but surely landing back in my body! I most definitely havenβt been in the mindset to take classes but I trust with a little time and healing Iβll gain the capacity to do so once more π©·
Britt x