11/09/2021
This is a little late.
In my late teens I felt suffocated with my thoughts. I had severe anxiety/depression, self-loathing & zero confidence.Going anywhere seemed exhausting.
Friends and family around me wouldn’t have known. Just thought I was being quiet or antisocial.
The concept of ‘mental health’ didn’t seem to be a thing back then. I felt isolated and that the world was against me. I have a great family but I didn’t feel like I could even tell them.
The thought, ‘why and how can this be happening to me’ often crept up in my head.
Some days I’d hardly leave my room until 1am where I’d have a burst of energy and go for a run with no one around.
I’d then sit at the top of the hill with a view of the village and contemplate what this is all for. What’s the point. No one would care etc.
Getting into exercise saved me. Like most teenagers I went to get huge, to build more confidence. Back then I had no idea that I was using it as therapy, and for that hour, to feel some sense of pride and accomplishment meant a lot. Fast forward 15 years and it’s my vice, and now career. It’s helped me develop. It’s why I’m passionate about helping others get there.
At 18 I thought, I need help. I went to a local GP and they gave me some pills.
I took them for 3 weeks and then thought, F**k this, I need to change my surroundings not take my life.
Eventually, this took me traveling and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve done a fair bit since.
My eyes opened up to new people, new places, new experiences. I realized the world isn’t as grim as I thought, but my perception of it was.
I realized I was in control of how I feel & what to do about it. I still have bad days but I am so PROACTIVE with my mental health, not reactive. I keep it at bay. I practice habits daily to make me feel good. I keep busy. I keep active. I distract myself from my thoughts basically 🤣.
9 years on and I’m in Oz. Great life(lockdown excepted), great career and freedom within it, great friends, and most importantly Ruby, you’ve saved me in more ways than you could know. Happy Anniversary 🥰 family at home I miss you dearly.
That’s my sorry what’s yours?
Let me know in the dm’s for a chat.