10/09/2026
I used to describe my second birth as a “successful VBAC.” But a conversation with Nikola Moore a number of years ago completely changed the way I speak about birth.
I realised that by labelling my birth a “success,” I was accidentally reinforcing the binary - that any other outcome, whether a repeat caesarean or a hospital transfer, was a “failure.”
Nikola’s words reframed this for me:
💛If you had a repeat C-section, you didn’t “fail.” You had a C-section.
💛If you transferred to hospital during a homebirth, you didn’t “fail.” You made a safe decision for you and your baby.
The goal of a homebirth isn’t to stay at home at all costs - it’s to birth in safety, autonomy, and respect. When a transfer happens, utilising the hospital as a safety net means the system worked as intended. It was still a successful homebirth.
When we strip binary words like “failed” and “successful” from our birth vocabulary, we dismantle the unnecessary shame so many parents carry into matrescence.
🎧 Tune in to this deeply shifting conversation with Nikola Moore on Are You Homebirth Curious? (Link in bio)
💬 Did you use labels like “success” or “failure” after your birth? I’d love to hear how this reframe lands for you in the comments below.
Matrescence