WAGL Memes

21/11/2023

got lazy last week so i'll do the Jets v Titans mascot matchup this week

You COULD argue it's pointless, given the game is already over, but i don't care about GW and the game result was never in doubt anyway

14/11/2023

Up next on Mascot Matchup, we have a Lockheed Martin F35 Lightning Jet against various Titans.

I rate AoT very highly, and I'll do some proper Titans matchups later in the week (trying to work out what's fair/not fair for the cart titan to have attached), but first we're going to look at the Titans from Remembering the Titans!

In the movie, the Titans were able to overcome racism and prejudice because they were able to build trust and respect for each other. They learned to see each other as teammates and friends, rather than as enemies. This allowed them to work together towards a common goal.

However, overcoming an F35 would be a very different challenge. First, the F35 is much faster and more maneuverable than the Titans. This would give the F35 a significant advantage in a fight. Second, the F35 is equipped with a variety of weapons that the Titans would have no defense against. Third, the F35 is heavily armored, making it difficult to damage.

The main difference between the two challenges is that racism and prejudice are human problems, while an F35 is a technological problem. Racism and prejudice can be overcome through understanding, empathy, and cooperation. However, an F35 can only be defeated by using superior technology, which the Titans simply do not possess.

In the case of the Titans, they were able to overcome racism and prejudice by building trust and respect for each other. However, they would not be able to use the same approach to overcome an F35. Unfortunately, trust and respect offer no counter against the GBU-31 JDAM bomb, or the 25mm M61 Vulcan cannon.

F35 W.

Stay tuned for the Attack on Titan series when I can be bothered (there will be some Titan W’s)

08/11/2023

We here at WAGL memes are deeply saddened by the tragic news of vandalism at Lightning Park. In the spirit of helping bring the offenders to justice, we've taken the investigative step of seeing WHICH mascots are capable of damaging the said light tower.

Starting with the broncos (going in alphabetical order):
A bronco would not be able to damage a light tower from a high school football ground. Broncos are not powerful enough to knock over a light tower, and they are not designed to climb or jump. Additionally, it would be extremely dangerous for a bronco to try to damage a light tower, as the horse could be injured or killed.

Here are some reasons why a bronco would not be able to damage a light tower:

Lack of power: Broncos are not powerful enough to knock over a light tower. The average weight of a light tower is around 10,000 pounds, and even a large bronco would not be able to generate enough force to topple such a heavy object.

Lack of climbing ability: Broncos are not designed to climb, and they would not be able to climb the light tower's support structure. The light tower's supports are typically made of smooth metal poles, and the horse would not be able to get a grip on them.

Lack of jumping ability: Broncos are not able to jump high enough to reach the light tower's light fixture. The average height of a light tower is around 50 feet, and even a very athletic bronco would not be able to jump that high.

Safety concerns: It would be extremely dangerous for a bronco to try to damage a light tower. The horse could easily injure itself if it tripped or fell while trying to climb or jump, and it could also be injured by falling debris if the light tower were to collapse.

In conclusion, a bronco would not be able to damage a light tower from a high school football ground. The horse does not have the power, climbing ability, jumping ability, or safety margin necessary to complete such a task.

Next up the Ducks:
Similarly, Ducks do not have the strength or the ability to climb or jump high enough to reach a light tower. Additionally, light towers are typically made of steel or concrete, which are materials that are too strong for a duck to damage.

It is important to note that light towers are typically equipped with safety features to prevent birds from flying into the lights. These safety features can include strobe lights, noisemakers, or other types of deterrents.

Jets:
An F-22 Raptor fighter jet could damage or destroy a light tower in a number of ways, including:

Using its M61 Vulcan cannon: The M61 Vulcan cannon is a 20mm Gatling gun that can fire up to 6,000 rounds per minute. A single burst from the Vulcan cannon could easily rip through the metal structure of a light tower, causing it to collapse.

Firing its AIM-9 Sidewinder missiles: The AIM-9 Sidewinder is a short-range air-to-air missile that uses an infrared homing seeker to track its target. A Sidewinder missile could be used to lock onto the heat signature of a light tower and detonate near it, causing significant damage.

Dropping its GBU-39 Small Diameter Bomb (SDB): The GBU-39 SDB is a 250-pound precision-guided bomb that uses GPS and laser targeting to hit its target. An SDB could be dropped from an F-22 and guided directly to the light tower, causing a devastating explosion.

Saints:
I REALLY don't want to be a reddit atheist nerd here, but I'm going to give this a fair go. There are CERTAIN saints who could probably damage a light tower:

For example, there is the story of Saint Barbara, who was said to have been tortured and killed by her father for her Christian faith. Before her death, she prayed to God for help, and he miraculously caused her torture chamber to collapse, killing her father and his men. It is possible that this miracle could have involved the power to cause the collapse of a light tower.

Another example is the story of Saint Elmo, a Christian martyr who was said to have been struck by lightning. After his death, he was said to have appeared to sailors in the form of a ball of light, which was said to protect them from shipwrecks. It is possible that this ball of light could have been a manifestation of Saint Elmo's power, and that it could have been used to damage a light tower.

Saint Dunstan: Saint Dunstan was an English bishop and statesman who was said to have possessed the power to control the weather. According to legend, Dunstan once used his power to cause a storm to destroy a Viking fleet that was threatening to invade England. It is possible that Dunstan could have used his power to control the weather to damage a light tower, such as by causing a lightning strike to hit it.

Saint Nicholas: Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of sailors and is often depicted carrying a bag of toys. According to legend, Nicholas once used his power to calm a storm that was threatening to sink a ship full of children. It is possible that Nicholas could have used his power to control the weather to damage a light tower, such as by causing a windstorm to blow it over.

Saint Francis of Assisi: Saint Francis of Assisi was an Italian friar who was known for his love of animals and nature. According to legend, Francis once preached to a flock of birds, and they all listened attentively to him. It is possible that Francis could have used his power to communicate with animals to damage a light tower, such as by commanding a swarm of birds to peck at it.

Titans:
Any of the 9 titans from AOT could comfortably damage a light tower.

The Colossal Titan could simply step on the light tower, crushing it under its immense weight.

The Armoured Titan could charge at the light tower and ram it with its armored body.

The Female Titan could harden its skin and then use its fists to punch through the light tower's supports.

The Beast Titan could throw objects at the light tower with great force.

The Jaw Titan could use its powerful jaws to crush the light tower's supports.

The Cart Titan could use its explosives to detonate them near the tower.

The Warhammer Titan could use its ability to create weapons from its own body to attack the light tower with spikes, blades, or other weapons.

The Attack Titan could use its ability to see the memories of its future inheritors to foresee the weaknesses of the light tower and then exploit them to cause it to collapse (or just like punch it?)

I hope you can understand why the Founding Titan can damage the light tower.

Vipers:

it is not likely that a viper could damage a light tower. Light towers are typically made of steel or concrete, which are materials that are too strong for a viper to damage. Additionally, light towers are typically located high in the air, out of reach of a viper.

However, a viper could potentially damage the wiring or electrical components of a light tower if it were able to climb up the tower. If the viper were to bite the wiring, it could cause a short circuit and outage. Additionally, if the viper were to become entangled in the wiring, it could damage the insulation and cause a fire.

However, it is important to note that light towers are typically very smooth and do not have any cracks or crevices that a viper could use to grip the tower. Additionally, light towers are typically very tall, and a viper would need to have a lot of stamina to climb to the top of the tower.

In conclusion, it is possible that a viper could climb up a light tower if it were to find a way to climb the tower and if it had the stamina to climb to the top of the tower. However, it is unlikely that a viper would be able to climb up a light tower, as light towers are typically very smooth and do not have any cracks or crevices that a viper could use to grip the tower.

08/11/2023

A bit of a change for tonight's Mascot Matchup: all 6 teams mascots will be pitted against the lights from Lightning Park!

Stay tuned!!

★★★★☆ · Sports complex

07/11/2023

Even if the F-22 Raptor were grounded on ice, it would still be a formidable opponent for the Mighty Ducks. The F-22's titanium airframe and reinforced landing gear would provide it with significant protection from damage caused by ice or snow. Additionally, the F-22's powerful engines would allow it to generate enough thrust to move across the ice, even if it were not able to take off.

However, the F-22 would be at a significant disadvantage in terms of mobility on ice. The jet's tires are not designed for grip on ice, and it would likely skid or slide if it tried to move at high speeds. Additionally, the F-22's smooth undercarriage would provide little traction on ice, making it difficult to turn or maneuver.

The Mighty Ducks, on the other hand, would be well-equipped to move around on ice. Their skates would give them excellent traction and maneuverability, allowing them to quickly change direction and avoid the F-22's attacks.

In a hypothetical battle between a grounded F-22 Raptor and the Mighty Ducks on ice, the outcome would be difficult to predict. The F-22's firepower and armor would give it a significant advantage, but the Mighty Ducks' superior mobility could allow them to close the distance and engage the jet in close combat.

I just think that with the F22 sitting there on the ice unable to move, the ducks would eventually find a way to do some damage, especially if it's the ducks from D3, and they're a little bigger and stronger.

I'm not really sure how you'd get an F22 into an ice hockey arena. Maybe they built the arena around it. Idk.

Verdict: Mighty Ducks win on a technicality.

07/11/2023

Next up, we have an F22 on the runway up against the Ducks. Unfortunately, as this is not an icey surface, the Flying V is not in play, but the bash brothers and the knucklepuck are.

In a hypothetical scenario where the Bash Brothers, a pair of enforcers from the Mighty Ducks hockey team, tried to take out an F-22 Raptor fighter jet on the runway, they would be facing an almost insurmountable challenge. The F-22 is a highly advanced military aircraft designed for air-to-air combat, while the Bash Brothers are skilled hockey players with limited experience in fighting against fighter jets.

The F-22's armor and defenses would still be effective on the runway. The Bash Brothers' hockey sticks and other improvised weapons would be unlikely to pe*****te the F-22's hull or damage its critical components.

I also don't think the Bash Brothers could prevent the F22 from taking off. The F-22's two F119-PW-100 turbofan engines are incredibly powerful, generating over 35,000 pounds of thrust each. This would give the F-22 more than enough power to overcome any physical obstruction placed on the runway, even if the Bash Brothers were able to exert a significant amount of force.

While Russ Tyler's knuckle puck is a powerful shot in the Mighty Ducks movie, it is unlikely that it could take down an F-22 fighter jet. The F-22 is a highly advanced aircraft with a durable exterior designed to withstand high speeds and harsh weather conditions. A hockey puck, even a knucklepuck, is not likely to pe*****te the F-22's armor or cause any significant damage.

The mighty ducks simply cannot keep an F22 from taking off. I have to give this one to the F22.

Next up, F22 vs the Mighty Ducks on the ice!

Note: Children's ice hockey skates are not gonna damage the wheels of an F22, grow up.

07/11/2023

Today we're looking at another Jet v Duck matchup, being an F22 against the Mighty Ducks!

In the 1992 Disney film "The Mighty Ducks," a hot-shot defense attorney named Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez) is sentenced to community service coaching a pee-wee hockey team called the District 5 Ducks. The Ducks are a ragtag group of misfits who have never won a game.

"The Mighty Ducks" is a heartwarming story about teamwork, perseverance, and overcoming adversity.

However, despite their significant teamwork, perseverance, and ability to overcome adversity, the Mighty Ducks would be no chance for an F22 in flight. There'll be two more posts tonight addressing situations where the F22 is grounded on a runway, AND where the F22 is on a hockey rink. Both of these situations are more even, as the flying V and knucklepuck can be used.

06/11/2023

Jet v Psyduck, part 3!!

#4: Confusion: This is Psyduck's other shot. , if Psyduck gets a chance to try to confuse the pilot while the F22 is still on the runway, a lot could happen.

Let's be clear: the F-22 Raptor is not designed to deploy its payload from the runway. The F-22 Raptor Flight Manual states that the jet is designed to "conduct air-to-air combat and air-to-ground strikes" and that the jet's weapons are "designed to be released from the air." The F-22 Raptor Pilot Training Manual states that the jet's weapons are "not designed to be released from the runway" and that "any attempt to do so could result in damage to the jet or to nearby personnel."

If Psyduck were able to succesfully use confusion on an F22 pilot during takeoff, there could be some serious carnage. This is psyduck's only possible chance at a win.

Psyduck's most effective strategy would be to confuse the pilot DURING takeoff, where he'd be within range, and the F22's payload couldn't be deployed (not designed to be deployed from the ground). Honestly, I think this a psyduck W. If psyduck were adjacent to the runway, either the F22 fails to take off, OR it takes off unsuccesfully and damages itself. In theory, the pilot could swerve off the runway and hit psyduck, but i've never really heard of a pokemon damaging its opponent (even incidentally) in its confusion, and I have to imagine that applies to pilots too (otherwise that ability is nerfed af ngl).

To conclude: Psyduck's only POSSIBLE win conditions involve using confusion against an F22 that isn't yet in the air. In this scenario, one of two things will happen:

1) The pilot gets confused and deploys the payload on the runway, leading to a likely draw (damage to the F22 and to Psyduck) or a possible Psyduck W (deployed weapon causes damage to the F22 rendering it unable to take off)

2) The pilot gets confused during takeoff and crashes (Psyduck W)

With this in mind, if the F22 is on the runway AND Psyduck is able to effectively hit confusion on the pilot, I'm calling this for Psyduck. Confusion only has a `10% chance of confusing another pokemon (could be higher or lower for a pilot).

Verdict: If the F22 is already in the air, it wins. If not, Psyduck has about a 7% chance of winning (10% chance of hitting confusion, 70% chance of winning if it does)

Therefore, depending on the Meta and assuming the F22 is grounded, Psyduck has:
1) a 25% chance at a draw; or
2) a 7% chance at a win and 3% chance at a draw.

That concludes our F22 v Psyduck Mascot Matchup series. Stay tuned tomorrow for our F22 v The Mighty Ducks series!!

06/11/2023

F22 v Psyduck - Part 2!

Now we're going to explore situations where the F22 is still on the runway, and Psyduck has a chance to try to intercept the takeoff.

We're gonna assume that Psyduck is to the side of the runway, and that the F22 can't run him over.

I'm not some reddit pokemon nerd, but I've done my research, and Psyduck has 4 main moves. We'll go through the potential effectiveness of those 4 moves against an F22 on the runway!

Psyduck's attacks are: One: Tail Whip. Number two: Scratch. Number three: Disable. Number four: Confusion. Lets go through them!

#1: Tail Whip - Look, that's gonna do f**k all to an F22, whether in the air or on the runway.

#2: Scratch - As above. Theoretically a psyducks scratch move COULD impact one of the tyres on an F22 as it tries to take off, but i reckon that's a losing move for the psyduck from a moneyball perspective.

Therefore, the two moves we're going to look at are Disable and Confusion.

#3: Disable: =The F-22 carries six AIM-120 Advanced Medium-Range Air-to-Air Missiles (AMRAAMs) and two AIM-9 Sidewinder missiles in its internal weapons bays. The F-22 can carry two 1,000-pound GBU-32 Joint Direct Attack Munitions (JDAMs) in its internal weapons bays. The F-22 can carry eight Small Diameter Bombs (SDBs) in its internal weapons bays. The F-22 has a 20mm cannon that is used to attack ground targets and enemy aircraft at close range. The cannon can fire up to 100 rounds per minute. Any of these are enough to easily kill a Psyduck. HOWEVER, the F22 is still yet to take off. In theory, if 'take off' is a move that the F22 has to use to get in the air, psyduck COULD disable the F22's ability to take off. I'd give that a draw.

The disable move does NOT give psyduck the option to choose which move to disable. In gen 1, it was randomly selected from the opponents moves, meaning a 1/4 chance of disabling take-off. From gen2 onwards, it would disable the opponents last move. This would only work if take-off were one of those weird things that took 2 moves to complete. For this example, we'll use gen 1 rules. Psyduck has a 1/4 chance of disabling take-off, which would allow a draw.

Verdict: 25% chance of a draw, 75% chance of an F22 win.

06/11/2023

Next up in the Mascot Matchup we have Psyduck, another extremely powerful Duck Variant!!

We're gonna break this into a few posts to cover the different variants.

First of all, if the F22 is in the air, Psyduck is finished. I'm not even entertaining any other possibility. The F22 releases one of the 1,000-pound GBU-32 Joint Direct Attack Munitions (JDAMs) in its internal weapons bays, and blows Psyduck to hell, as pictured.

Psyduck's attacks cannot be effective at that range.

Comprehensive Jet victory.

In our next post, we'll further explore other situations where the F22 is yet to take off.

05/11/2023

First up in our mascot matchup, the F22 Raptor takes on an ordinary duck!

Base stats:
An F-22 Raptor is a highly advanced fighter jet that is capable of flying at speeds of over Mach 2 and carrying a variety of weapons. A duck is a small, flightless bird that is not known for its fighting ability.

Tactical considerations:
Since the duck is the underdog (underduck?), we'll discuss it's various options in overcoming the jet.

Stipulations:

Plane still on runway:
This gives the duck more options, and the possibility of a draw. If the pilot hasn't yet entered the F22, the duck could essentially hover around the pilot and try and enter the cockpit at the same time. I'm not sure how the rules would work here, it's a little arbitrary. If the pilot hits the duck away to prevent it getting in the cockpit, would that be cheating? It's technically meant to be the F22 against the duck, not the pilot and the F22, but then obviously a pilot is required. If the pilot is able to get into the cockpit, there's probably nothing the duck can really do.

Plane in the air:
While the F22 is built for air to air combat, it also has significant air-to-ground capabilities, which would vastly overpower the ducks offensive and defensive capabilities.

The ducks best bet would probably be to hide in an urban area, as I doubt anyone would authorise an F22 strike on a civilian area, even with the F22 using it's most precise weaponry (they're equipped with an F22 cannon). However, if the duck is in gaza or the west bank and is arbitrarily deemed a Hamas militant by the IDF, then it would have full authorisation to drop the GBU-32 Joint Direct Attack Munition (JDAM). It is a 1,000-pound satellite-guided bomb that can be used to attack ground targets with pinpoint accuracy. This would level not only the duck, but also any schools and hospitals in the surrounding area.

Verdict: Jet wins.

05/11/2023

Since we've got the ducks this week in the mascot matchup, we're going to be looking at 4 matchups, being a fighter jet (F22) against:

- a normal duck
- psyduck
- the mighty ducks (probably just goldberg and the bash brothers tbh)
- daffy duck/donald duck/ducktales ducks/the ugly duckling (technically a swan but i'll allow it) etc etc etc

Please let me know if there are any other duck related matchups you'd like me to consider. Please note that, while the F22 is primarily designed for air to air combat, it also has some pretty serious air to surface capabilities

just to clarify i literally couldn't care less about the actual outcome of the jets v ducks week 2 gridiron west game