03/06/2017
MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH ALERT 🚨
I really wanted to share this and be vulnerable with my fears because if we bring lights to our dark they can no longer have a hold over us plus giving the ability to connect with others as we all have struggled. I had such an epiphany about my fitness journey of where it all started for me. I've always enjoyed exercise and been in gyms and experimented, with yoga as something I pursued and forgot about at times. But as more of recent times while doing my teacher training, I had such resistants to stopping exercise like HIIT and Kickboxing. I was throwing tantrums in my own mind and resisting just doing yoga for 4 months. It just so happened a knee injury and being sick resulted in me actually needing the time off and so I allowed myself to dive deep into yoga. While this resistance and letting go of these exercises was super uncomfortable and hard. It was also an addiction to the endorphin release and all the amazing benefits exercise does bring.
But I really thought about it and for me yoga, I always did as a thing of nourishment for my mind and body. A time to connect and disconnect from beliefs that don't serve me. You see, my intentions were much deeper then being fit and skinny. Where as hiit training and gym sessions I always felt I needed (key word) to do them and came from a place of insecurity. I would have this guilt if I didn't because I wasn't bettering myself, I wasn't getting fitter and therefor would further my feeling of insecurity that I wasn't good enough as is! Man....what a relisation as to why yoga makes me feel so god damn amazing. And I love a good gym session no doubt, but it all comes down to intentions and our WHYS. I was doing it for the wrong reasons it was coming from a place of lacking and should be, rather then I want to and I'm loving my body therefor I'm going to move it because it's what my body needs.
I fought in my mind daily about missing boxing classes, training and only doing yoga (what a horrible thing right 😂) I could still exercise but because I wasn't doing enough to keep me as lean as I was and I'm not, but being okay with that and actually doing something from a place of love and respecting my body is a way better feeling then having to train 5 days a week because I'm not currently good enough. As a result I was felt stiff, over stimulated, disconnected and lacked self esteem if I missed only a days session. Now this; this I can tell you is a really s**t place to be.
In saying this I am going to completely change my intentions and unhealthy thoughts about exercise and something I didn't even know was an issue for me.
This is showing some serious vulnerability for me as I don't like exposing what I now know as an insecurity which I think I've hidden with 'confidence' for a very long time. So there it is. Awareness is the first step to growth.
They say if you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go together. 👭
I've learnt the true importance of connection and speaking up if you need help or some guidance and taking pride in that.
If you have read this far firstly thank you and I'm sure something has resonated with you so reach out to me I'd love to hear your experience or I hope this has helped someone find more clarity.
Bring it on 💗 what is your WHY?
