22/06/2026
The Message Beneath the Message
When someone says, "I love you," do you simply hear the words and accept them as truth?
Of course you don't.
You immediately become a detective.
You study their face. You notice their posture. You listen carefully to the tone of their voice. You analyse the timing, the context, and perhaps even what happened three Tuesdays ago that might make this declaration suspicious.🧐
Because words, on their own, are never the whole story.
The person could be sincere.
They could be joking.
They could be being sarcastic.
They could be trying to manipulate you.
The point is that even when communication is delivered in the clearest language imaginable, we instinctively search for additional information. We look for clues about emotion, intent, confidence, sincerity, and trustworthiness.
We are constantly asking ourselves:
*"Do I believe this?"*
*"Does this feel safe?"*
*"What is really going on here?"*
Now consider the horse.
Unlike us, horses do not have the luxury of spoken language. They don't get a helpful running commentary explaining our intentions.
Imagine someone invited you to leave your friends and go for a walk with them.
Sounds harmless enough.
But what if you noticed they seemed hesitant? Uncertain? Nervous?
What if something about them felt off?
Would you feel motivated to follow them?
Or would you find yourself wondering why this slightly suspicious individual wanted you to leave the safety of your group?
You might politely decline.
Or, if you're a horse, you might plant your feet, look the other way, and suddenly develop a keen interest in a patch of grass.
Now imagine that same person wanted you to walk down a bush track.
As you looked at them, you could sense they were worried about something. Their body was tense. Their movements were uncertain. They seem far from confident.🤨
Would that make you feel safer?
Probably not.
In fact, their anxiety would likely become part of your decision-making process.
You might start wondering whether there was something down that track worth worrying about.
After all, if the person supposedly in charge doesn't seem convinced this is a good idea, why should you be?😎
This is one of the reasons horses can become difficult, resistant, spooky, or reluctant seemingly out of nowhere.
Often, we become so focused on the behaviour that we forget to examine what we might be bringing to the interaction ourselves.
Not just the signals we intentionally give.
The signals we unintentionally leak.
Our frustration.
Our uncertainty.
Our tension.
Our impatience.
Our lack of commitment to the decision we've made.
These things don't remain neatly contained inside us. They spill out into our posture, timing, movement, breathing, and handling.
They become part of the conversation.
And horses, being experts at reading behaviour rather than listening to speeches, pay close attention.
The next time your horse seems difficult, pause before assuming they are being stubborn or challenging.
Ask yourself a different question.
What emotions and intentions might this horse be feeling pouring out of me right now?
What have I wrapped around my communication?
Because communication is never just what we say.
It's everything else that comes with it.
And sometimes, when we look at our horse's behaviour through that lens, what once looked like defiance starts to look a lot more like feedback.❤
Collectable Advice 241/365. Hit SHAVE or SAVE. Please no copy and pasting 🙏
