17/04/2025
Tough?
When I was a junior I specifically recall going to my dad, distraught, after being made aware of some nasty comments that some fellow competitors and their parents had made about me.
You know, the usual; “No talent, all the horse, lucky”.
I was deeply offended, hurt and without a doubt feeling sorry for myself.
Dad, without hesitation nor stopping what he was doing, cocked his head and said “If you’re going to let a few comments like that, affect you like this, then you will never make it”
Closely followed by, “ Why don’t you spend more time minding your own business, perfecting your craft, and in doing so you will continue to prove them wrong”.
“That’s what you want yeah?”
I mean, the man had a point.
End of conversation.
This very simple interaction, has immensely shaped a lot of the ways that I tackle challenges, deal with judgment and continue to be somewhat unaffected by the opinions of others.
I look at riders and people today, and struggle with the lack of authenticity that comes with our softened system, where tough love and reality have been replaced with words of affirmation, encouragement awards, “anxiety” and “you can’t speak to me like that”.
Why is “toughness” being discouraged and shunned, when it should be placed at the top of our emotional pyramid, as it is directly responsible for our resilience, rationale and ability to reflect.
All great assets in life.
Newsflash: You don’t have to continually praise your child or client, when their performance or attitude is below par.
This doesn’t create a better rider nor person, it just creates an endless cycle of delusion, that will cloud their ability to see how they are “really” going, and what it is they need to improve on.
The fact of the matter is, not everything is good.
Some things are just plain s**t.
Sh*tty rides, s**tty distances, s**tty attitudes, s**tty decision making.
These things do not have to be turned into positives, nor do they have to be dwelled on; they merely have to be acknowledged, accepted without excuses and moved on from.
Simple.
Stop with the over-explaining and endless excuse making and merely make a commitment to try again, to be better and to expect more of yourself; lots more.
Bend, don’t break.
Reflect, don’t blame.
Fall, get up; and be thankful that you can.
Be dedicated to figuring things out ; It’ll give you more gratification, sense of worth and confidence than any colour by numbers or gratitude journal ever will.
